Amelia After the meal with Barnes, I am determined to prove to Lucas that I am fully on board with anything he might want to do. I’ve never vocalized how much I enjoy sex with him, or even initiated sex before, and I plan to change that. Ignoring the tense atmosphere in the hut, I go into the bathroom and put on some new lingerie that I bought for the occasion. I leave my hair down because he seems to love it when it’s loose, and I come out of the bathroom, fully expecting him to want sex like he always does. But he’s on the balcony, staring out into the middle distance. I lie down on the bed, waiting for him to come back inside. I’m lying with my head propped up on my arm when he comes back in. He stands in the entryway, watching me, but his face is in shadow. As he walks over to me, I can tell he’s turned on, his eyes are dark with lust, and there’s an obvious tent in his pants. But then he sits down on the bed beside me, tucks my hair behind my ear, and tells me to get some rest. Without another word, he kisses me on the head, rises, and goes into the bathroom. From that moment on, I’m plagued with anxiety, and it doesn’t go away. The next morning, when I wake up, he is already fully dressed and sitting at the breakfast table. I pull myself into a seated position on the bed, frowning at him, trying not to show how devastated I am by his rejection the night before. He’s tired of me, and this is his way of winding things down before he fires me the minute we’re home. Once the thought is in my head, it won’t fade, and as I sit up, waiting to hear what he’s going to say, my stomach flips unpleasantly. Last night was the first night we ever shared a bed together, and it felt like I was lying beside a stranger. I feel cold, rejected, and vulnerable, but I attempt to ke ep my expression blank as he turns to me. I’m doubly confused by the bright smile on his face. “I had an idea,” he says, rising from his chair and clapping his hands together. “Have I oversl ept?” I ask, mortified to think that I’ve been dozing while he’s been waiting for me to wake up. I’m an escort; I should be more attuned to his needs than this. If there was anything that proves I’m an amateur, this vacation is it. Christ, he’s probably thinking about all the times we’ve been together and ticking off all the things I’m terrible at. “Amelia?” he says, looking down at me with concern. How did this happen? Am I in love? Is this why it hurts so much? “What is it?” he’s about to sit on the bed, but I get up quickly, pulling the sheet behind me, covering the front of my body with it. It’s the weirdest thing I’ve ever done—he’s seen me naked
countless times, but once I have it clutched against my skin, I can’t let it go. “I’ll get changed,” I say hurriedly. “I didn’t mean to make you wait for me. We’re only here for one more day as it is.” I back into the bathroom. “Amelia?” he looks puzzled. “Is everything alright?” “Yes. Yes! I’m just gonna throw on some clothes and I’ll be ready.” A few minutes later, when I emerge from the bathroom, Lucas is in shorts with palm trees all over them, grinning from ear to ear. I can’t help but laugh at him as he opens the door to our hut with a flourish and drags me out into the sunshine. It turns out, the idea Lucas was talking about is a tropical swim with turtles. Several companies on the island offer the service, and it should be an exciting prospect, but, yet again, our options are limited because of me. I’ve never learned to scuba dive, but Lucas is certified in Open Water diving. He doesn’t seem bothered by my lack of abilities; however, he takes the change of plans in his stride as we choose snorkeling instead. He even puts a hand casually around my waist as we walk toward the boats. I know it’s for show, but the ache that has been growing inside me since we landed triples in seconds. I really care about him. I want this to be real. But it never will be. “Are you sure you’re okay?” he asks me as we reach the boat. “You seem really tense today. Have I upset you somehow? Are you worried about your sister?” I’m so grateful to have an excuse for my morose mood that I nod too enthusiastically and before I know it, he’s handed me his phone. “Call her. I’m gonna talk to the guide about our trip. Take as long as you want.” I watch him go, touched by his kindness, and call Annabelle. Even though it’s past 10 p. m. in New York, she answers on the third ring, beyond excited to hear from me. After a jubilant conversation where my sister asks me thirty questions in under a minute about what I’ve been doing, I’m smiling broadly again. Annabelle has reminded me that I will never get an opportunity like this again. I’m being treated to an all-expenses-paid trip to the Maldives, and I need to start enjoying myself instead of getting tied up with what’s going on with Lucas. Once I’m on the boat, I feel better, and he brightens when he sees me smiling. “Ready to go?” he asks. “Definitely. Where are we headed?” “It’s a reef between two islands, but he says we should see some turtles if we’re lucky. Are you a strong swimmer?” “Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine. Thank you for taking me with you.” There’s an unhappy curve to his mouth for a moment before he shakes his head, putting an arm around my shoulders. “This is a trip for both of us.” The warmth that erupts inside me at those words is far too pleasant. It feels like home.
By the time we arrive back from the trip, I’m exhausted but in the best way. Lucas paid for a guide to take us on a private tour where we saw baby stingrays and reef sharks amidst the coral. A turtle swam right underneath me. I felt like a mermaid. The islands were breathtakingly beautiful, but my favorite part of the whole day was the journey to and from the reef. That was when Lucas started telling stories about his family. They sounded like an outrageous and crazy bunch, but he clearly cared de eply about all of them, particularly his little brother, Charlie. He even told me some stories from his early days in business, leaving me in tears of laughter by the end. I learned that he sold his first company at nineteen, made his first million by twenty-one, and supported Charlie through college when his parents struggled financially. He’s so much more than I ever expected him to be. We reach the beach at sunset, streaks of pink and gold wash over the sky as the sun lowers on the far horizon. I st ep off the boat, my muscles sore from all the swimming, shoes held in my hand as Lucas follows me. There are a couple of guys on the beach as I walk through. They’re sitting together, propped up on the sands, their eyes following me as I walk by, probably no more than eighteen or nineteen. They’re both tall and tanned, grinning at me with very white teeth. The look that we exchange lasts for seconds only, but an automatic smile spreads over my face as a possessive hand moves around my waist, and Lucas comes up beside me, blocking my view of them. When I redirect my smile his way, he doesn’t notice, too busy glowering at the boys as he all but drags me over the uneven sand. I stumble, but he doesn’t let up until we’re nearing our hotel. This island must be for the super-rich, as there are barely any people here. The beach is deserted, with a solitary palm tree bent over in front of us, the leaves almost touching the waves. Once we’re on the other side of it, Lucas spins me around and pushes me up against the trunk. “Is that what you’re into?” he asks, his voice an angry growl. “Young men with tanned skin and white teeth?” I laugh because I think he’s joking, but then he’s crowding me, his white linen shirt coming loose to show me a glorious triangle of his golden skin. “You’re just as tanned as they are, Lucas. What are you talking about?” I ask with a laugh. “But I have twenty years on them.” I can see the jealousy in his eyes. I feel a strange rush of happiness that he thinks I would ever look twice at another man. “Well, they were pretty good looking,” I say with a smirk as he presses his body up against me, but he’s smiling at my tone. “Is that right?” “Mmm, I should go and say hi—” I grunt as he crushes his mouth over mine and grips my body tightly against his.
“Don’t you fucking dare,” he growls at me, and pulls me away from the trunk and away over the sand. I think we’re heading back to our hut, but as we turn the corner, I come to a halt, staring at the picture ahead of us. There’s a solitary table on the sand, and tiki torches leading down to the ocean in a long, flickering line. I’m suddenly nervous. Isn’t this what someone would do for a girlfriend? Why is he wasting so much time on me when I’m a sure thing? “I wanted to watch the sunset with you,” he says quietly, looking out at the ocean. “But you’ve already done so much for me today,” I say sincerely. “You shouldn’t be spending even more money on me.” “I have more money than I know what to do with, and being here with you, experiencing your first vacation abroad, is a fantastic way to spend it.” A waiter approaches with two glasses and a bottle of champagne. There’s no one else around, the waves are the only sound as I stare at Lucas, dumbfounded. He hands me a glass with a soft smile, but his eyes are dark and sad. Oh fuck. This is it. This is where he tells me it’s all over. “You’re gonna think I’m nuts,” he whispers, his beautiful brown eyes meeting mine. “But I feel terrible about what happened when we met. It’s been bugging me all day. I want to have a do-over.” “A do-over?” I ask, amazed at how unhappy he looks. “I’m gonna wine and dine you tonight, and spoil you rotten, like I should have done right from the start. And then we’re gonna have sex like I should have done it the first time.” “Lucas, you don’t have to—” “I do,” his voice is tight. “I should have thought it through. Now I have. But if you don’t want—” “I do,” I say quickly, desperate to make that sad frown leave his face. He smiles, holding out his hand. I take it, and he leads me to the table. When we get to it I start laughing at the food laid out before us. “You have no idea how difficult it is to get real tacos on an island like this,” he says moodily. “Oh my God, you didn’t fly them in from New York, did you?” I ask, unable to stop grinning. “I could have, believe me, but I think the chef I spoke to got the conc ept down. This is only a starter. I realized when I ordered this that I don’t even know what food you like.” I take a seat, and he pushes my chair beneath me as the waiter places an artificial candle between us. My stomach is in knots, unsure how to behave in this strange, incredibly romantic setting. Lucas sits opposite me, as the waves brush the sand a few feet away from our table. The sun is setting behind him, and he has never looked so beautiful as he does in that moment. The white lines in his hair are dyed golden by the glow behind him, and my heart is thudding so hard I’m worried he might hear it. He raises his glass. “Here’s to a new first time,” he says, his lips quirking up at the edges.
I hesitate, my fingers brushing the stem of my glass, uncertain what to say. “To new beginnings,” I murmur as I raise it before me. Our gazes lock and hold for the longest time until Lucas’s eyebrows twitch into a brief frown before he nods, and we begin our food. The waiter is a ghost for much of the evening, appearing and disappearing like magic whenever Lucas needs something. We finish the bottle of champagne, with Lucas drinking the majority, and move on to wine. There’s white fish for the main course, of a type I have never had before, and it’s salty, buttery, and possibly the best thing I’ve ever eaten. “So, where did you learn to paint?” he asks me suddenly as shots of sorbet are placed in front of us. Lucas’s dark eyes shine as he sips his drink. “I’ve been doodling ever since I was a kid,” I say. “But I really fell in love with painting because of my friend, Hope.” “Oh yeah?” I nod. “When she was training to be a nurse, the hours were brutal, and I was working nearby...” I trail off, not wanting to admit I was working night shifts at my third job. “I would go to the hospital sometimes to ke ep her company, and I’d sketch the patients. I love drawing people, and it was Hope who encouraged me to ke ep going with it.” He falls silent, that strange look coming over his face again. “Do you have any hobbies?” I ask. Lucas chuckles. “Too busy for that, but one day I hope to. I used to love working with my hands. My dad has a woodworking studio at his cabin, and I made what he tells me passes for an ‘adequate’ fruit bowl a few years ago.” “You should go back,” I say before I can stop myself. “Creativity is good for the soul.” His eyes are shining as the stars begin to glimmer above our heads. The torches are burning low, and he leans back in his chair just watching me for the longest time. I fight the urge to shift my weight, waiting for him to say something more. But he doesn’t speak again, that darkness coming into his eyes that I can’t quite get a read on. Slowly, he stands, reaching out a hand to me again, and I rise, following him over the sand and up to the tree line. There’s a picnic blanket laid out beneath the palm trees with multicolored tassels all around the edge. Lowering to his knees, Lucas pulls me gently down beside him as he curls a strand of hair behind my ear. That mesmerizing gaze stays focused on me until he sighs. “I’ve had a wonderful night.” He says it so quietly I have to strain to hear him. “Me too,” I r eply, but he looks up at me questioningly as if he doesn’t believe me. “I’d be happy just to lie here with you and stare at the stars all night,” he murmurs. But my body is thrumming with latent energy, desperate for him to touch me. I never thought I would be so turned on by another person, but Lucas is proving to be more of a puzzle every day.
“I thought you wanted a do-over,” I say coyly, and the uncertainty fades away as he licks his lips. “I did say that, didn’t I?” he says, rubbing his hands over my shoulders. “And who am I to deny you anything?” His fingers move behind my neck, and his thumb comes to rest at the base of it, rubbing there gently. “I want you to imagine this is the first time we met. And I wasn’t such a brutish oaf.” “That’s not how I remember it,” I say firmly, and his fingers move beneath my chin. “Good.” His mouth finds mine, but there’s no urgency in it. He’s soft and gentle, worshipping me with his hands as he slowly undoes my dress, pulling off my wet bikini. He’s leisurely with his movement, slow and steady, his eyes roaming all over me as he licks his lips again. Soon, I’m lying naked beneath him, as he strips off his clothes, throwing them carelessly aside. “Are you cold?” he asks as he lowers over my body. “No,” I say, and he runs a hand over my stomach. “God, you are the most exquisite thing I’ve ever seen.” I lie watching him for what feels like hours as he teases me, touches me, and licks at my skin and body until I’m losing my mind with need. He lowers himself down to my legs, pushing them gently apart as he begins to lap at my entrance. It’s gentle, caring, and unbearable, as I imagine a time when we might have met in different circumstances. I love the softness in his touch, but I’m writhing beneath him in minutes, desperate for him to fuck me. I need him to put things back to the way they were, when he didn’t look at me in that longing way that makes my stomach flip. What does he want from me? I thought I knew, and now I’m not so sure. He rises up my body, rubbing his cock against me as he closes his eyes. “I’m gonna go slow,” he says, and I groan as he chuckles quietly. “You want something else?” I can’t speak, my fingers pulling at the tops of his thighs as I try to pull him inside me, but he won’t move. “I’m gonna worship you, Amelia. I’m going to push in so slowly you’ll be begging me by the end.” I give a shuddering sigh as his mouth finds mine, his tongue caressing, his lips soft and sensual against me. It’s the best and worst feeling of my life. When he finally pushes inside me, it’s heaven, as he begins to gently rock his hips into me, grunting with every thrust. I’m moaning into his mouth as he pushes into me harder and faster, the sand between our bodies scraping against us as he pleasures me. When he comes, I’m right behind him, both of us suspended in the heights of our pleasure. He kisses me for hours, as the stars twinkle above our heads, our bodies wrapped around one another. By the time we’re both sated, lying with our legs tangled in the sand beneath, I stare upward into the inky blackness and know that I’ll never have another night like this for as long as I live.