Dani We don’t mention the kiss after that. There’s untamed energy between Emil and me, but reality slams back into me the minute the kids wake up. Routine wins over passion day after day. Mornings are hectic, and by the evening I’m exhausted. The only differences in how Emil and I act are the lingering touches on Emil’s hand, on my back, his knee against mine, his fingers across the nape of my neck. Two days later, Emil leaves for Ohio. He stays there for two nights and I miss him so fiercely it terrifies me. When he comes back, our eyes meet across the living room and electricity dances across my skin. Still, though, neither of us moves to r epeat the kiss. When I head to Bonnie’s place on Sunday for my day off, I feel strung out and on edge. She notices, p eppering me with a thousand questions I don’t want to answer. That kiss... It’s not something I want to share. Not yet. I do, though, open the box that was my birthday present and slip a few condoms into my purse. Just in case. Even having condoms in there feels scandalous, like I’m inviting trouble—but I don’t remove them. The following Monday, as we sit around the breakfast table in the penthouse and Talia regales us with her opinions on everything from orange juice to mathematics, I feel Emil’s knee nudge against my thigh. This time, I lift my eyes to glance at him. There’s softness in his eyes, and it pierces through every shield I’ve ever erected, striking me straight in the chest. I’m in trouble. Whatever’s happening between us, it’s escalating quickly. Today, Talia has a playdate with Isla. I’m hoping Harriet will help ke ep the peace between the two girls, and I might be hoping to corner her for more gossip about Callie Van der Berg, shameful as that may be. After breakfast, a knock sounds on the door, and Talia skips toward it with a big smile on her face. I have Francis in my arms, so Kathryn opens the door. A little blond girl comes barreling through, immediately hugging Talia as the two girls giggle and head toward her room at top speed. I give Kathryn a wry grin. She just shakes her head. Harriet huffs, mumbling something about grabbing Isla’s jacket as she follows the girls. As I take a few st eps to follow Harriet, I freeze. Harriet isn’t the only one there. Isla’s father is standing there—and I know him. I met him a few weeks ago, when I was a different person. A different Dani. Emil’s blond Viking-looking friend stands in the doorway. His eyes meet mine, brows arching in surprise. His gaze swe eps down my body, just as it did the first time, a roguish smile tugging at his lips. “Well, well, well,” he says. “What’s going on here?”
“Leif,” Emil says, st epping to block my view of his friend. “I didn’t know you’d be bringing the kids yourself.” “I thought we could grab a coffee before work. Is that Dani behind you?” Almost reluctantly, Emil st eps aside. Something sharp saws through my chest. Is he... embarrassed of me? Emil gestures to me. “Leif, you remember Dani.” “How could I forget?” Leif’s eyes flash as he gives me a small bow. “I didn’t know things were so serious between you two.” He glances at Emil. “That explains some things.” “Oh, no,” I say with a st ep forward, bouncing Francis in my arms. “It’s not like that. I’m Mr. Van der Berg’s new nanny.” Pure, unadulterated glee lights up Leif’s face. “Even better. My, my, Emil. You’ve got some explaining to do.” Emil stands so still I’m almost afraid to move. Slowly, he lifts his eyes to mine, something dark and unreadable clashing in his gaze. He swallows, then nods to his friend. “I’ll be ready in a few minutes.” Leif slides his hands into his pockets and nods. “No problem.” Taking a st ep toward the hallway where the girls disappeared, he calls out, “Isla! I’ll be leaving soon. Come give me a kiss goodbye.” The little blond girl sprints into the room, plants a quick kiss on her father’s cheek, then dashes away. “Bye!” Leif straightens and shakes his head. He nods to Francis, in my arms. “First they cling to you, then they can’t get rid of you fast enough.” As if he wants to prove Leif right, Francis wiggles in my arms. “Down!” A command from the bossy two-year-old I can’t refuse. He immediately starts to follow the two girls down the hallway. I grin at Leif, who gives me a sly wink. “I’d better go make sure they’re not causing trouble.” Leif holds my gaze for a moment, then dips his chin. “Good to see you again.” His voice is like velvet sliding over my skin, playful flirtation dancing in his eyes. The man probably has women falling over themselves to breathe the same air as him. Too bad I’m wrapped around another man’s little finger. When I get to the hallway, Emil is walking toward me. I move to st ep aside, but his hand slides over my waist. Hidden from view, he tugs me close and presses a kiss to the side of my neck. My bones melt, and Emil grins as if he can tell. “I’ll see you tonight.” Those words shouldn’t thrill me as much as they do. I watch him walk away, then follow the kids into Talia’s room. When I head to the kitchen to get lunch started for the kids, Kathryn nods at my shoes, my new clothes. “I think Emil likes you,” she says, her eyes sparkling. “I’ve known the man for decades and he’s never bought me new clothes.” I freeze. I knew it. “He told me it was for work. I thought it was standard.” Not exactly true, but I’ll play dumb for now.
Kathryn laughs as she cleans an already-spotless mirror. “About as standard as a trip to the moon. If you’re not careful, he’ll burrow his way into your heart and you’ll never want to leave. He did it to me when he was Francis’s age and I’m still here cleaning up after him, getting wine stains out of sofa cushions.” She smiles softly, squeezing my shoulder. “Don’t look so horrified. It’s a good thing to like your boss.” A good thing. Right. Is it a good thing that Emil is kissing me, clothing me, taking care of me? Is it a good thing that I’m letting him do these things? This is what happened with Rich. He wooed me at work with his brilliance, his intelligence. Then he started paying special attention to me, spoiling me. Dinners, clothes, luxuries I’d never been able to afford. Soon, I was under his thrall. I was ignoring my professional ethics and cutting all kinds of corners at work for him. I was fudging data for him, cheating on certification tests for his supposed groundbreaking technologies. They were lies. All of it. Both the brilliance of his tech and the affection he showed me, it was all an intricate manipulation to get what he wanted from me. I sent fraudulent results to the certification boards, I cheated on tests, I made sure his technologies were heralded as the next best thing. I was nothing but a pawn who would take the blame if anyone found out about the lies. I was so blinded by his affection that I turned my back on everything I believed in. Stealing the evidence of his lies and running was my only option. I ran, and ran, and ran, and I vowed I’d never let a man manipulate me like that ever again. Is Emil the same as Rich? Am I so stupid as to fall for it all over again? These nice new clothes suddenly feel rough against my skin, tight and uncomfortable. I kick the shoes off and call the kids over for lunch. When they come out, Talia grins at me, clutching her favorite doll to her chest. She drags me closer and hugs me, drawing a smile from me. Something tight unknots in my chest. I’m so sick of running. Emil isn’t the same as Richard. This is different. It has to be. When the kids are in bed and Kathryn has gone home for the day, I find myself in the second living room tidying up. Emil enters and leans against the wall, his presence a bonfire at my back. Glancing over my shoulder, I arch a brow. “Are you just going to stand there or are you going to help me?” “What the hell am I paying you for?” His lips curl as he pushes himself off the wall, stalking over to help me fold up a throw blanket. His thigh brushes mine as we finish up, a solid warmth at my side. The man’s presence does something to my insides. I’m all twisted up when I’m around him. When I turn I find myself chest-to-chest with him. He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “I’m taking the kids to the Bahamas next month,” he announces. “I’d like it if you came with us.” My brows arch. “Oh. Okay. For how long?” “Two weeks. I’ll pay you overtime for the duration.” I gulp. His words say that he wants me there in a professional capacity to help with the kids. His eyes tell a different story. I nod. “Sounds good.” He smiles then, a soft tug of his lips. “I think Leif likes you.” I snort and shake my head. “We’ve said all of three sentences to each other.”
“I was jealous this morning.” His hands slide over my waist, pulling me close. I should push him away. This is getting too complicated, too fast. We’re mixing business and pleasure. It’ll end badly. “I saw your face, Dani. Thought you might think I was embarrassed about the whole thing. I wasn’t. Just jealous.” My throat locks up, voice coming out as a croak. “Jealous of what?” “Of the way he was looking at you.” Warmth spreads through my chest. “You’re crazy.” He wasn’t embarrassed of Leif seeing me. He wasn’t ashamed that I’m his nanny. He was jealous. I shouldn’t like that thought as much as I do. “I know.” He dips his head and kisses me long and sweet. “Everything I’ve done these past few weeks has been crazy. Ever since I saw you in that dress, I haven’t been able to think straight.” He kisses my jaw. “If I were paranoid, I’d think someone was trying to set me up, trying to distract me.” “From what?” My voice is breathless, my brain short- circuited by the feel of his lips on my skin. “That’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it?” His hands are warm, strong. All my hesitations dissipate, and I find myself tilting my head up for another kiss. How could I possibly resist this man? All the reasoning and logic in the world wouldn’t stop me from craving his kiss. “I know the shoes and clothes aren’t a uniform,” I say with my lips against his. “You bought them for me. It was charity.” “It wasn’t charity,” he r eplies, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “No? What would you call giving a woman brand-new necessities she can’t afford to get herself?” A growl rumbles through his chest, light sparking in his eyes. “Maybe it’s my possessive male instinct that likes seeing you in clothes I’ve bought.” I shouldn’t like this—being taken care of. I shouldn’t enjoy seeing the unabashed protectiveness in Emil’s eyes. But I do. God help me, but I like it. I’ve been on my own for so long, running for so many years, that having someone be good to me feels incredible. A man who wants to protect me. Take care of me. That’s something I never knew I was missing. Does it make me weak to like it? To want this? It’s been four long, hard years. Maybe it’s time for me to stop running. Stop hiding. Maybe it’s time for me to start enjoying my life again. Rich let me go, and I haven’t heard from him at all. Maybe he’s gone from my life for good. I won’t have to use those files I stole; I won’t need to threaten him; I won’t need to ruin my own r eputation to blow the whistle on his company. Maybe... maybe I’m already free. “What’s going on in that head of yours?” Emil asks, kissing my temple. “Just trying to leave the past behind.” He smiles sadly. “Easier said than done.” I meet his soft gaze, arching my brows. “For you too?” Instead of responding, Emil scoops me up and sits down on the playroom sofa, nestling me in his lap. His hands make long, smooth swe eps down my back and side, his other arm draped across my thighs. I’d resist, but being held against his body feels too good.
With my head tucked under his chin, I let out a sigh. Safe—I’m safe here. Safe enough to put words to the past I’ve tried so hard to outrun. “I stopped working at my old company because I witnessed unethical practices. I participated in them, too. It became... too much for me. I took some evidence—files, data, photos, that kind of thing— so no one could come after me, and I left. I ran.” His hand doesn’t stop moving. “You couldn’t get another job with a different company?” “It’s a small industry. The company I worked for has... a lot of reach. I was afraid to try. Plus, after I saw how toxic that company was, I think I was afraid to try again. I felt like I couldn’t trust my instincts. It was easier to let it all go. And the fact that I participated in all the fraud... It made me feel trapped, like I couldn’t turn around and start over. I was ashamed.” A rumble in his chest and those soothing strokes along my spine. “It must have taken a lot of courage to leave everything behind.” I snort. “Courage? It was mostly blind fear. I’ve felt like a coward for four years.” “Fear locks you up. Courage makes you act. You acted.” The pure logic in that statement unwinds something in my mind, some de ep shame I’ve never been able to face. I’ve told myself I was afraid—so afraid—and that’s why I ran. But maybe leaving that job, leaving Rich... maybe it took strength too. “I wish I’d had the strength to leave too,” Emil says in the silence. “Leave your job?” A long sigh. “My marriage.”