Emil All I want to do after work is go home and see Dani and the kids, but I have plans with Leif and Marcus. Rapping my knuckles on my assistant’s desk, I bid her goodnight. “Go home, Tammy. You’ve done enough today.” Tammy is in her mid-fifties and has saved my life more times than once. She knows how to sort my messages by order of importance, and has been the one to organize every important birthday and holiday present for me for the past eight years. She’s a genius at what she does, which is why I pay her generously and give her as much flexibility in her schedule as she wants. So, when she purses her lips and pushes those thick- rimmed black glasses up her nose, I pause. “The first proposed contract from Gleeson came through a minute ago. I just forwarded it to you electronically, and I’m in the process of printing out a few copies. Would you like me to set a meeting for tomorrow morning with you, R&D, and our legal team?” Glancing at my phone, an email notification stares back. My heart sinks. I should stay back and go through this thing with a fine-toothed comb. Any other day, I would. I’d stay in the office until nine o’clock just to make sure I was ready to talk to the rest of the team in the morning. Today, though, my friends are waiting for me with fresh drinks at a bar, and there’s an even stronger pull for me to go home. As soon as I think of Dani, of the smile that has cracked my heart into pieces, my decision is made. I’ll come to the office early if needed, but I’m not staying here tonight. There’s a lightness in my heart that hasn’t been there in a long time, and the thought of denying myself the small pleasure of seeing my kids—and their nanny—makes me ill. So I just thank Tammy and r epeat my order for her to go home. She answers noncommittally, and I know she’ll be here late. I’ll have to review her yearly bonus and make sure it’s adequate. Leif and Marcus already have a beer ordered for me by the time I get to our usual haunt. The bar is small, with worn leather stools and a collection of grouchy old regulars. Bo, the bartender, nods to me when I walk in. “He’s alive!” Leif grins, studying me from head to toe. “And there’s a bounce in his st ep. Would that have anything to do with the beautiful and talented Dani?” I scowl. “What are you talking about?” Marcus says, taking a long draw from his beer. “His date to the ball?” “Who also happens to be his kids’ nanny.” Leif wiggles his eyebrows. “Looks like the Delmar agency came through after all.” “It’s a long story in volving a strange coincidence with names and addresses.” My beer is cold and bitter and delicious. I lick the froth off my top lip and place the pint down precisely in the center of its coaster. “One I don’t want to get into.” Both men are staring at me, interest gleaming in their eyes. “Have you been naughty, Emil?” Leif asks, pure delight written on every line of his face. “You’ve been very tight-lipped about this whole thing,
but now I have backup.” He grins at Marcus, who tries—and fails—to contain his curiosity. “Oh, this is good. We haven’t seen this side of you in years. Not since before you met Callie.” I shrug the comment off. “I haven’t changed that much.” Marcus makes a disagreeing noise. “Ke ep telling yourself that, buddy.” “Having kids does that to a person.” I use a napkin to wipe the condensation off the glass. Anything to avoid my two best friends’ prying gazes. “Maybe that line would work on someone who doesn’t have kids,” Leif says, laughter in his voice. “But you can’t fool me. Isla changed my life, but she didn’t turn me into a sour bastard.” “Sour bastard!” Outraged, I glance at my two friends. They just laugh. A hint of a smile tugs at my lips, even if I know they’re telling the truth. Between my marriage with Callie falling apart, her sudden death, and the whirlwind of caring for two small kids while running a company, I’ve let myself fall into bitterness. But today, I feel good. I haven’t been able to relax with the boys in a long time. “I think he got laid,” Leif stage-whispers to Marcus. “Look at his face. No man has that kind of glow unless he’s gotten some.” “The nanny?” Marcus’s laughter comes through his voice. “That’s not like Emil.” “It’s rude to talk about someone as if they’re not there, you know.” “Ooh, he’s defensive. Definitely the nanny.” Leif clicks his tongue. “For the first time, I’m feeling a bit disappointed that Harriet isn’t my type. Screwing the nanny sounds fun.” “I’m not screwing the nanny,” I snap. I mean technically, I am screwing the nanny, but saying it like that makes it sound so much shallower than it is. Dani isn’t... Well, okay, she is the nanny. But she’s smart and she’s capable and she’s been through so much shit in her life that I can relate to. She doesn’t look at me like I’m Emil Van der Berg, Director and CEO of Berg Motors. She looks at me like I’m just Emil. Like she can see past all my titles and smokescreens and defenses to the real me. Marcus, ever the diplomat, smoothly cuts through Leif’s laughter. “What’s going on with the Gleeson deal?” “Got the initial contract through a few minutes ago,” I respond, glad to be on more solid ground. “Haven’t looked through it yet.” Marcus tilts his head. “You came here instead?” I shrug. “Yeah.” I know things are bad when even Marcus arches his brows. “Maybe you are changing.” He claps me on the shoulder and grins when I frown at him. “For the better, Emil. Changing for the better.” “Couldn’t get much worse.” Leif waves at Bo and motions to our drinks, calling for another round. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” A laugh bubbles out of me despite my best efforts to maintain a scowl.
“You think we didn’t know that you and Callie were having issues?” Leif asks. “Come on, man. We know you better than that. We were waiting for you to say something. Then she passed away, and...” He shrugs. “Seemed like you just needed us to act normal around you.” A lump forms in my throat. “You knew?” “Not the specifics,” Marcus says. “But we knew things had gotten bad. I tried to bring it up to you. Kind of. K ept trying to casually mention my therapist.” I gape at him. “That’s what that was about?” He huffs, shaking his head. “I should have been upfront about it. Maybe it could have helped you through that rough patch.” “It was more than a rough patch,” I admit. “I’d asked her for a divorce the morning”—I take a sip to hide the bitterness in my voice—“the morning she died.” “Damn,” Leif says under his breath. “Sorry, brother.” Marcus claps me on the shoulder. “If I’d known...” I shake my head. “It’s fine. Things are... better. If this deal goes through with Gleeson, I might even bring the company to new heights. I’ll have a legacy my kids will be proud of.” “Kids don’t care about that shit,” Leif says, shaking his head. “Isla’s more worried about convincing me to go with her to some baking birthday party than she is about how successful I am at work.” I start. “You’re going?” Leif sighs dramatically. “I’m a slave to my little girl, Emil. You know that. Can’t say no to her.” He grins. “Let me guess. Talia turned on the charm, too?” “She’s a menace when she wants to get her way,” I mumble, remembering the look in Dani’s eyes when she asked me about the birthday party—how sad she looked for Talia when I patently refused. Maybe I can drive the kids myself. Maybe I can go to the party, too... spend more time with the kids during the week. Marcus, Leif, and I finish our drinks and head out. As I say goodbye to them, enduring endless ribs about Dani with gritted teeth, more tension unwinds inside me. Maybe my friends are right—I’ve been shutting them out. Carrying all my stress on my own when I could have relied on them. It took Dani to pull me out of the d epths of my darkness, for me to realize that I have people around me who care. When I get home, I hear the soft murmur of Dani’s voice in Talia’s room. Kathryn wipes down the kitchen counter and jerks her head toward the hallway. “Storytime.” She puts the bottle of spray cleaner away and wipes her hands on a cloth. “I’m heading out.” “Go.” I nod, then give Kathryn a soft smile. When she walks by, she chucks me on the cheek and pats my chest. Kicking off my shoes and padding toward my daughter’s room, I poke my head in the door as Dani shuts the book in her lap. She glances at Talia, who’s fast asle ep and snuggled up beside her. Tenderness twinges de ep in my chest as Dani brushes a strand of hair off my daughter’s face, then moves to tuck the blankets around her sle eping form. Callie was never that warm with the kids. De ep down, I think it was obvious she hadn’t wanted to be a mother—but how someone could bring kids into the world with that attitude still boggles my mind.
Seeing Dani treat Talia like that—the care that she has for my daughter after just a few weeks—makes me want to jump into the abyss with both feet and see where I land. Dani’s feet scuff as she walks to the bookshelf, her fingers flicking her hair in a typically feminine motion. My chest tightens as she turns, eyes widening when she spots me. She glances at Talia, then tiptoes toward me. “How long have you been standing there?” “Long enough.” I glance at my daughter, wanting to give her a kiss but afraid I’ll wake her if I do. “How’s Francis?” “Fast asle ep.” She smiles. “They drew you some pictures today. Let me show you.” I follow Dani to the playroom, where a couple of drawings have been pinned to the magnetic whiteboard. She pulls them free and hands them to me, smiling. “It was Talia’s idea.” “They drew you too.” I point to a brown-haired female stick figure. An adorable flush cre eps over her cheeks. “I was flattered.” Sliding my arm across her shoulders, I press a kiss to Dani’s temple. She melts into my side, laying her head against my chest. We stand there for a few minutes, until I can’t take it anymore. I curve my other hand around her body and tilt her head up, taking her lips in mine. She kisses me tenderly, then pulls away. “Kathryn could walk in,” she whispers. “She’s gone.” I tuck a strand of golden-brown hair behind her ear. “What other protests will you throw my way?” “This is highly inappropriate.” She tries to ke ep her face serious, and I try to listen to what she’s saying, but my lips are on hers between one breath and the next. Dani’s right, of course. We shouldn’t be hooking up for a thousand and one reasons. She works for me, for one. If things went sour, it wouldn’t just hurt me, it would hurt the kids. But I’ve spent so long trying to push people away that it feels wrong to do it with Dani. I’m... tired. Tired of being on my own, tired of refusing help, tired of trying to be a superhero dad and a high-level executive. Tired of lying about my marriage with Callie. With Dani, I can be honest. She lets her fingers skate over my cheek and gives me a soft smile. “Has anyone ever told you how handsome you are?” “Never. You should remind me.” She laughs, the sound warming every part of my body. I can feel her chest pressed against mine, the womanly curves of her figure fitting against me like we were made for each other. I ache for her—but I force myself to st ep back, catching her fingers in mine and pressing a kiss to her knuckles. “I’ve been thinking about that birthday party you mentioned.” Her face brightens. “Oh?” “I’ll take the day off work and drive over with you and the kids. Leif told me Isla has been pestering him about it, and I can take a hint.” Dani’s face splits into a brilliant smile. She squeezes me close, then tilts her head up for another kiss. “Thank you,” she says against my lips. “Talia will be thrilled.” Threading my fingers through hers, I listen to the rustle of our clothes and the soft padding of our feet as I pull her into my bedroom. Undressing Dani is a sweetness I’ll never tire of. When I slide open the
button of her jeans, she stills my hands and disappears down the hall. When she reappears, she’s carrying her purse. Reaching inside, Dani pulls out a selection of condoms. I arch a brow, plucking a red package from her fingers. “Cherry flavored. Naughty.” The flush that swe eps over Dani’s cheeks makes my body ache for her. She snatches that one back and thrusts another one in my hands. I look at the package. “Ribbed.” My brows jump. “Even naughtier.” Dani groans as her fingers comb through her hair. I grin, hooking my hand around her nape to pull her close, angling my lips against hers. “You said you ran out of condoms,” she whispers against my lips. “I have lots of them.” “Lots, huh?” I pull back, letting my fingers slide down her sides. “Why have you got so many?” I try to ke ep my voice playful, but the edge in my words betrays me. The thought of Dani using these with another man blankets my vision in red. I know I shouldn’t be jealous. She’s a grown woman with a healthy sexual appetite. But I’m just a man, I’m weak, and I’ve staked my claim on Dani. She’s mine. Her blush de epens as she shakes her head. “It was a joke present from Bonnie.” Her lashes fan as she lowers her eyes, casting fluttery shadows over her cheeks. “I haven’t been with anyone but you. No one since my ex.” My heart beats inside my chest as I use a finger to tilt her head up. Those d epthless brown eyes stare into mine, hesitation written all over her face. This time, my voice is a low growl. The possessiveness that rides me sharpens every word to a gleaming edge. “And you won’t be with anyone else. I’m the only one who gets to touch you. Kiss you. Look at you. Understood?” She clenches her jaw, but I won’t budge on that. My beautiful, intelligent, headstrong woman curls her fingers into my shirt, pulling two buttons loose as she does so. “That goes both ways, Emil.” “There’s never been anyone but you.” The rest of our clothes disintegrate, and I show Dani how much I mean those words with my hands, my mouth, and every hard inch of my body. It isn’t until she’s boneless on my bed that I loosen the reins on my own pleasure, drinking in the sight of Dani’s sated smile, her pleasure- drenched whimpers, the tight, wet heat of her body, and lose myself in her.