Dani “There’s something you’re not telling me.” Bonnie crosses her arms, popping a brow. The locker room of Bonnie’s fancy gym and spa is nicer than any other I’ve seen. It smells like lemongrass and comes complete with huge showers, towels, toiletries, and even robes and slippers stored in every locker for the members to use. Even guests like me, who have tagged along with a day pass. Bonnie’s treat. I shrug as Bonnie wraps a towel around her body, jerking her head toward the spa area where she’s booked massages for the two of us. “He asked me to go to the Bahamas with him.” I level a stare at my friend. “As his kids’ nanny. It’s work.” “But there’s a sparkle in your eye,” she protests. “You’re all glowy and happy. You’ve hooked up with him, haven’t you?” “I’m not glowy,” I protest. “I’m exhausted.” It’s true, too. These days, it feels like I can’t get enough sle ep. Okay, yes, maybe that has to do with the late bedtimes due to, erm, nocturnal activities, but even so, I’m more tired than usual. Setting that aside, I shrug at my best friend. “I’m a professional, Bonnie. I’m going to the Bahamas for work. Plus, I’ve never been out of the country. That’s why I’m excited.” I duck my head and slip through the glass door leading to the massage room. I don’t want to lie, but the truth stays stuck somewhere in my throat. If I tell her I’ve sl ept with Emil, I might tell her that my feelings burrow de eper every day. It’s not only physical. He makes me think about the future. I spent four years thinking in the moment, worrying about where my next meal would come from, not knowing where I’d be sle eping a week later. To think about a real relationship is beyond my ability to process right now. Bonnie hums. “I don’t believe you. You look like you’ve been sexed to within an inch of your life.” I click my tongue, but I don’t deny it. My friend gives me a triumphant grin, arching her brows as she settles herself on the massage table. “Naughty, naughty Dani. Didn’t know you had it in you. I’m proud of you, girl. Maybe your birthday present wasn’t such a dud, after all.” I lie down on the table next to hers and tuck my arms under my chin. “You think it’s a bad idea for me to go to the Bahamas?” “I thought it was for work.” She shoots me a knowing glance, her lips curving. “Or was that not true?” I scratch my head and am about to respond when two masseuses enter the room, instructing us to lie down with our arms by our sides. Bonnie gives me a look that tells me she’ll be continuing this conversation once we’ve finished. I just grin at her and close my eyes. I let myself relax and enjoy this small luxury, an hour with my friend in the type of spa I’d never have had access to before. Maybe I’ve been enjoying this lifestyle too much. Even before I ran, I was never in places like this. My childhood was spent just shy of poor, happy but by no means wealthy. I never thought I’d see the inside of a penthouse or a luxury spa. Grandma did her best to provide for me, and I never wanted for anything, but we didn’t have money. Not like this.
The longer I spend with Emil, with the kids, with Bonnie, the harder it gets to think about leaving. I know that’s shallow. I’ve just never been as comfortable and happy as I am now. But the truth is, I could be forced to give it all up. Rich could show up in my life at any time, and I’d have to leave all this behind. Would I be able to leave Emil behind, if it came down to it? To break the promise I made to never run? Squeezing my eyes shut, I push that thought away. I’m going to the Bahamas, I’m going to enjoy myself, enjoy my time with the kids and Emil, and that will be that. If Rich barrels into my life and ruins it all over again, I’ll deal with it later. My savings account is a good safety net now. I can pack a bag and be gone in the morning, if worse comes to worst. I can run if I need to. I learned a lot over the past four years. I learned to put myself first, to look over my shoulder, to not let anyone too close. Between Bonnie, Layla, and Emil, I’ve broken a few of my rules and let them past my first layer of defenses. I’ve acc epted friendship. Stability. Intimacy. But to fully commit, to pursue something real, something permanent... I’m not sure I’m truly ready for that. Turquoise water laps at white, white sand as a soft, salt- laden breeze ruffles my hair. I inhale, then laugh as Francis does the same. He sticks his little nose up in the air, arms wrapped around my neck. My feet sink into the sand of the Van der Bergs’ private beach, and Francis wiggles against me. “Down!” he commands, then takes off like a bullet toward the water as soon as his feet hit the sand. A warm hand slides over my lower back. “I think my son might be in love with you.” I grin, allowing myself just a moment to lean against Emil’s broad chest. Tilting my head toward him, my stomach clenches as his eyes flick to my lips. His eyes soften. “He doesn’t know he’ll have to fight me for the privilege.” My heart clenches. Did Emil... Did Emil just tell me he loved me? Maybe he meant it more casually. But as his hand slides over my jaw, my pulse kicks against my ribs. We shouldn’t kiss in front of the kids. Definitely not. That would be inappropriate and confusing for them. But as we stand on the beach, my sarong fluttering around my legs in the ocean-kissed breeze, it doesn’t feel inappropriate at all. I feel like I belong here with the three of them. A high-pitched wail snaps my head toward the water. Francis is on his front, sand covering his whole face as he cries so hard his skin flushes bright red. Emil jogs forward, his linen shirt fluttering open on either side of his muscular body. The man looks like he was born to jog along a beach. When he gets to Francis, though, the boy shakes his head, stopping his cries for a moment before extending his arms toward me. “Dani, I have a booboo,” he says, bottom lip trembling. I kneel on the sand, using the corner of my sarong to wipe the sand from his face, saying soft, cooing words while I set the boy on his feet again. “What did I tell you?” Emil says beside me, his smile sounding in his voice. “I can’t compete with that.”
I hide my grin as I clean Francis up, and Talia runs toward us. She wraps her little brother up in a tight hug, then commands him to stop crying. “Want to make a sandcastle with me?” Francis’s cries switch off from one moment to the next, and he takes off with his sister. Grinning, I glance up at Emil. “Not so sure about his affection for me. I think Talia might have us both beat.” Emil laughs, a warm, round sound. Wrapping his hand around my arm, he tugs me close and slides his arms around my waist. “Emil, the kids—” “Let me touch you, Dani.” He nuzzles his nose to mine, then lays a soft kiss on my lips. I pull away, blushing, glancing toward Talia and Francis, who both have their backs to us. When I turn to look at Emil, he’s staring intently at me. “What?” I ask. “What do you want, Dani?” I frown. “In what way?” “With me. With the kids. With your life.” “That’s a big question for a Monday afternoon.” “Stop dodging it.” He lets his hand slide from my hip to the curve of my ass, tugging me close. “I like having you in my life.” Talia yells at us to come look, and I slip out of Emil’s arms to inspect the seashell in her hands. My heart thumps, and although I make all the right noises to satisfy Talia, I can’t quite catch my breath. I can feel Emil’s eyes on me, sinking into my skin, seeing the rawness inside me. It terrifies me. The truth is, I see a future with him, too. Being with him, with the kids—it’s everything I thought I’d never have. I’ve been so closed off for so long that having this kind of intimacy scares me, excites me, shows me a life I don’t think I deserve. As we spend the afternoon on the beach—as a family—I let my fears drift to the back of my mind and simply enjoy the sun, the sand, and the company. Sle eping arrangements have me set up in a room near the kids, but after the little ones are in bed and asle ep, Emil tugs me down the hallway to the master bedroom. I try to protest, but his lips are on mine in an instant, and I give in. How can I resist him? How can I deny myself the pleasure of touching his skin, tasting his lips? His body was made for my hands to shape, to feel, to pet. He lays me down on the bed and kisses his way down my body. When he reaches the wetness between my thighs and laves me with intimate kisses, I sink into the plush pillows and give myself over to the pleasure. To him. Every time we make love, I fall a little bit de eper. I give over another piece of my heart. I crack open the armor that’s k ept me safe, and I let him wedge himself in the opening. Willingly—I’m doing it willingly. I’m tearing myself apart and laying myself at his feet. When I’m laid out on his bed, limbs heavy, the weight of his body leaves the bed. Through heavy eyelids, I watch him disappear into the walk-in closet. He re-emerges a moment later, his clothes gone and... A tan-colored cowboy hat on his head. I prop myself on my elbows, brows arched high. The sight of him naked, erection jutting proud, with his hand tipping a hat as a sexy smirk graces his lips is not a sight I thought I wanted. But I do. I want it a lot.
I laugh, jerking my head. “Get over here, cowboy.” He doesn’t hold back. By the time we’re done, I’m breathing heavy, the cowboy hat is flung across the room, and I have a new fantasy to ke ep me going on lonely nights. I turn into Emil as he pulls me close, strong arms banding around my body, and I fall asle ep. But if I think sle eping with Emil is heaven, it doesn’t compare to waking up next to him. As the sun gilds his hair, I run my hand over the hard planes of his chest. An intimate caress—one I never thought I’d be able to feel. Sle epy eyes open to watch me, then he takes my hand from his chest and kisses my knuckles one by one. We don’t get out of bed right away. He spends time reminding me of all the ways he loves my body, then pulls me into the shower and shows me all over again. This isn’t work. It’s a vacation like I’ve never had before. My first time outside the United States, my first time waking up next to Emil, my first time feeling Caribbean sand under my toes. My head is in the clouds, heart handed over to the man who owns it. It won’t take long for me to shake off the last of my fears. Soon, Emil will have all of me, and I won’t think of running again. I won’t be able to. Once I’m showered and dressed, I go downstairs to find the kids fed and happy with two of the house’s staff watching over them. As soon as he sees me, Francis jumps to his feet and wraps his arms around me. I ruffle his thick, dark hair and haul him up into my arms when he lifts his hands toward me, acc epting a slobbery kiss on the cheek. Emil appears behind me, pressing his lips to Francis’s temple while his hand slides over my waist. He’s not even trying to hide it anymore. We’ve crossed from salacious affair to blatant affection. It should scare me, but it only makes my need burn hotter. I like this life. I like having a family, a man, a future. So, I tell myself to enjoy it. Days pass in a haze of sun and sand, with the kids laughing often and my heart melting to a puddle of goo in my chest. We’ve been on Emil’s Bahamian property for a week when I learn there’s an annual festival including a “world-famous” dog show in the nearby town. Emil promises Talia he’ll take her and Francis, but after breakfast, his phone dings and a frown mars his forehead. Work drags him to his office, and I spend the morning with the kids at the beach. Talia asks me about the show about four hundred times in three hours, and by the time we head inside for lunch, I’m ready to head into town if only to stop the inquisition. But Emil is still locked in his office. I poke my head inside and see him scrubbing his jaw, his eyes glued to his laptop screen. “Bad news?” He looks up, dropping his shoulders when he sees me. “I’m trying to get a deal finalized. The other party isn’t making it easy. We just got the revised contract back with three hundred comments on it. Literally.” He sighs, rubbing his palms over his face. I take a st ep inside and close the door, leaning against it. When Emil looks at me again, he pinches his lips. “You’re here about the dog show, aren’t you?”
“Talia hasn’t stopped asking when we’re going. She remembers it from last year. Said there was a fluffy dog she begged you to get for her, but you said it already had a home. I think she’s hoping to bring one of the dogs home this year.” “Of course she is.” He huffs a laugh, shaking his head. Considering me for a few moments, Emil drags open a drawer and pulls out a key ring. “I have to work, but you should take them.” Every muscle in my body freezes. I stare at the dangling keys, eyes wide. “You want me to drive them?” Emil stands up and walks around the desk. Every st ep he takes makes his presence press against me, the walls closing in. He drops the keys into my palm and curls my fingers around them. The cool metal bites against my skin. “I trust you.” His eyes hold my gaze with an intensity I’ve never seen before. “I should trust you with this, too.” The keys are warm in my hand, but still, it seems like too much. “Emil, I understand why you don’t want anyone driving your kids around. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” He smiles softly, tugging a strand of my hair and twisting it around his finger. “I put that rule in place out of fear of losing the kids. I almost lost them that day when Callie died, and even thinking about letting anyone else drive them around felt like a snake writhing in my gut. It wasn’t possible for me to let it go, but I don’t feel that way anymore. I’m not afraid of you hurting them, and I know”— he kisses the tip of my nose, fingers wrapping around my nape—“that in order for me to truly move on, I need to forgive Callie for that day, for everything. You make it easier for me to do that.” His voice is raw by the last word, my own throat thick with emotion. I nod, lifting my hand to press against his heart. “I’ll text you when we get to the festival and again when we’re leaving.” Smiling softly, Emil presses a kiss to my lips. It’s soft and tender and has nothing to do with sex. It terrifies me. “Thank you,” he says, “for understanding how much this means.” I nod, tears prickling at my eyes, and return his kiss. Then he gives me a jerky nod and straightens, his feet whispering along the plush carpet as he makes his way back to his desk. The keys dig into my hands as I make my way to the kids’ playroom, my voice raspy when I tell them to get their shoes on to go to the festival with me. When we return home in time for dinner, I find Emil in his office looking more tired than I’ve seen him in a long time. I dangle the keys between my fingers. His full lips stretch into a smile as he leans back in his chair, some of the lines on his face easing at the sight of me. Jerking his head, he pushes his chair back. “Come ‘ere.” Sliding onto Emil’s lap, I hook my arms around his neck and lay a soft kiss on his lips. A broad hand makes slow, tender swe eps along my spine, sending warmth radiating through every inch of my body. This man trusts me with his kids, trusts me like he hasn’t trusted anyone else before. Shouldn’t I do the same? Shouldn’t I let go of the fear in my gut and tell myself to live up to my promise to him—that I won’t run. Not now, not ever.
“Did you finish reviewing the contract?” I ask, my voice soft. Emil stretches forward, his stubble rasping against the skin of my temple. He grabs a thick stack of paper and drops it on my lap, letting out a long breath. “Still have half of this brick to go through. Apparently, my legal team doesn’t understand the term ‘vacation.’” I smile against his neck, pressing my lips to the baby- soft skin below his ear. Then I straighten, and my whole body locks up when I see the cover page of Emil’s business contract. The name of the other company is there, in big, black letters. I read it once, twice, three times, not believing what I’m seeing. No. It’s not true. This is a mistake. But it’s there. The name on the contract is the company I left behind. The company headed by the man who manipulated me so thoroughly I had to leave my entire life behind. Richard Gleeson’s name is written in the center of the page, right below Emil’s. My boss, my lover, the man of my dreams... He’s making a deal with the devil I’ve spent half a decade trying to leave behind. Realization hits me in the center of my chest, crashing into me so hard it nearly knocks me down. I did see Rich at the Summer Ball. I wasn’t hallucinating. I wasn’t seeing things. The man Emil wanted me to meet? It was my ex- boyfriend, my tormentor, the boss who tried to manipulate me into taking the fall for his shady business practices. Either by chance or by design, he’s wriggling his way back into my life. And I need to get out of here as soon as possible.