I’m on the orange couch in the quiet corner of the top floor of the UT library. The place where I spent a good portion of my teenage years, studying like hell to get to where I need to go. I don’t really want to be here. Sometimes I wish I could hang out at the mall with my friends from school. Anyway, I glance at my watch and it’s time to go do my paper run. Then pick up some things at the store with the money that’s left, which might buy us a loaf of bread and some canned spaghetti. I’m hungry. Mom will be working. Sky will be hanging out with her friends, boys who are never as nice to her as she deserves. I’ll make us some spaghetti, then I’ll ke ep studying. I have to get straight A’s so I can get into UT. I have to try harder. I have to help mom pay the rent and still pass my test, I just have to... I wake, surfacing slowly from a very de ep sle ep. My dreams were vivid and still se ep through the edges of my awareness, slowly filtering away. It occurs to me now, in the darkness of these extremely luxurious surroundings, that I’m here. I made it. I’m in New York. I’m where I always hoped and worked and strived to get to. I’m also in my boss’s bed. Sore and aching from our weekend sex-a-thon, overflowing with his cum, still wearing the diamond bracelet that catches light even in the darkness of his room. Way to throw it all away, Dusty, some little voice scolds. Way to fuck up your entire career for that giant orgasm-wand and the CEO attached to it. No. That’s not what happened here. That’s not what this is. It was much more than just sex. You think he’s your knight in shining armor? You think he’s different than all the others? You think he’ll stick around and never leave you? I don’t know. That one’s a little harder to answer. You’re willing to throw away your dream job because you think you’re falling for him? No. Well, you can’t have it both ways! Someone will find out! You’ll be the talk of the office. Lacey will have a freaking field day with this. Fuck. I know I didn’t sle ep my way into this job. But if one single person in the office gets the tiniest whiff of what happened here this weekend, I might as well kiss my career goodbye. Every contribution, every achievement, every promotion or opportunity will all be assumed to be mine because I gave the CEO an awesome blow job. I’ll be hated for it—and I could hardly blame anyone for that. Ace and Tex might be made for each other. But Cash Maddox and Dusty Rose can’t be together, it’s as simple as that. That’s not necessarily true. He’s your boss! You’re his employee! Stop dreaming of a happily ever after when you know they don’t exist! Have you ever seen one in real life? No. But that doesn’t mean n — Dusty, be practical. It was a beautiful weekend. But now it’s Monday morning. I wish the little voice in my head would shut up. Unfortunately, she has a point. Today’s the day reality will sink its teeth back into our lives. Ace can’t run from it any longer. And neither can I. Either you walk away from your dream job, or you walk away from your dream man. That’s your choice.
How can I abandon my lifelong New York dream, the only thing that’s ever k ept me anchored, just because I finally experienced a serious case of nymphomaniacal lust? My cock-drunk endorphins are trying to ruin my entire life’s plans. They always leave, you know that. I know. My dad left. All the losers my mom felt a glimmer of hope about: every single one of them left. All the scumbags and jackasses who have made one promise after another to Sky: gone. I’ve never known a single man who actually stuck around. It’s sad, yes, but it’s one hundred percent true. But Ace might be different. He is different. He promised me that and I believed him. It’s too risky! You’re playing Russian roulette with your whole life, which you simply can’t afford to do. As much as I’d love to stay in his warm, comforting embrace, my common sense is having its way with me. I’m the only one I’ve ever really been able to rely on and I have to choose myself and my future, no matter how hard it is. And it is fucking hard. I watch him sle ep. His face is peaceful, his perfect mouth relaxed. The strong nose, the lightly curved eyelashes, the dark stubble of his beard. His features look enchanting in the dawn light. I love his face so much. If I wake him, he’ll convince me to stay. He’ll look at me with his bedroom blue eyes and he’ll wrap his iron-strong arms around me. He’ll make me feel like I could ask for the universe and he’ll get it for me. And I’ll believe every word he says. Do I love him? Probably. And now my inner sex goddess is having her say. You do. You really do. Do I know how to love? Probably not. It’s too fast, anyway. It can’t be love. It’s just lust. It’s fire. It’s the most beautiful thing that’s ever happened to you. Am I willing to throw everything away to find out? I’m annoyed by the conversation going on in my head. But it’s convinced me that I really do need to be realistic. What started with cock- drunk will most likely quickly de volve into career-destroying total humiliation. And I need to think about Ace too. He has so much to worry about right now. He even said I’m a distraction. What he needs to be doing is concentrating on his business. I don’t want to be the iceberg to his own personal Titanic. We have to put some distance between us. He can’t ke ep ignoring his company. And I can’t throw away an opportunity of a lifetime because there’s a handsome man with an impressive (and amazingly perfect and also enormous) dick who wants to ke ep fucking me. Very carefully, I ease myself out from under his arm. Exactly like I did once before, all those months ago in Waikiki. I tiptoe around, finding my clothes and my bag. I check my phone. The time is 4:17 a. m. Searching for a pen and a piece of paper, I find one. It’s the little pad from his hotel room in Hawaii. I’m touched by this. He k ept it, just like I did. Ace, I wish I could stay here with you, I really do. But we need to be honest with ourselves. I work for you. As much as we both don’t want that to matter, it does. I loved our weekend together. A lot. But I need some time to figure out how to deal with all this. Please don’t make this any harder than it already is. I’m so sorry. xx, Tex On top of the pad of paper, I leave the bracelet. The suede coat is still in the kitchen. I won’t be taking that either.
Very quietly, I let myself out of his apartment. Back on the street, a cab pulls over and I climb in. Tears blur my vision. I fumble around in my bag to find my compact and the key card to my apartment and realize... shit. It’s not here. All I can find is the key card for work. My brain does a rewind to where I might have left my apartment key and my stomach sinks. It’s still on my desk at the office. “Excuse me,” I say to the driver, “can we take a detour?” It’s 4:42 a. m. when I get to the office. I have my pass around my neck, and with the staff gym and pool being open 24/7, I know I’ll be able to get into the building, but I have no idea about the office itself. The thought of running into any of my new colleagues is somehow worse than the thought of the office being locked. They could probably guess, just by looking at me, what I’ve been doing all weekend. I need to go home, take a long shower and get into some clothes that aren’t the same outfit I was wearing on Friday. Thankfully, my key card works. The office is quiet. Only a few lights are on, and the neon signs of motivational quotes that are dotted around the large space. It always seems impossible until it’s done. I think that one was Nelson Mandela. Thanks, Nelson. I needed that right now. If everyone is moving forward together, then success takes care of itself. That one was Henry Ford, if I’m not mistaken. A diamond is a piece of coal that stuck to the job. I can’t place that one. But it reminds me of a certain diamond bracelet I left behind. It reminds me of how hard things have been in my life. And how much I want to be able to buy my own diamonds. And rely on myself to get where I need to go. Like I always have. It reinforces my resolve: I can’t throw away my career, I just can’t. I’m relieved to find that the place is empty. I get to my desk and there, next to my abandoned coffee mug, is my key. Thank fuck for that. I grab it and quickly make my way back toward the foyer, when something catches my eye. Movement. In one of the communal work zone spaces. They’re glass offices where people can work alone or in small groups. They’re soundproof and are designed to allow people to remove the noise distractions of the busy office while still being a part of it. Someone is in there. The lights are off, but the desktop computer is on, glowing brightly in the early morning light. Which seems weird. Who would be working at 4:30 a. m.? I mean, we’re all on the Type A spectrum around here but this is ridiculous. Her back is to me but I recognize her hair. Of course I do. There’s only one woman with blond hair so long and straight it’s like a trademark. It’s Rylee Winters. So they were right about her. Something is off about this. She turns, sensing my gaze. As soon as she sees me, she abruptly closes out the screen she’s working on and logs out. Shit. She grabs her bag and closes the door of the room behind her. “Hi, Dusty.” “Hi, Rylee.” “What are you doing here so early?” Her tone is light but she gives me a steely—and very attentive—once-over. I have no doubt she can tell I’ve had a sexual free-for-all of a weekend. I did my best in the cab to make myself presentable but I’m not sure I’ve pulled it off. My hair was untamable and my cheeks are still flushed. “I was, uh, staying with a friend this weekend and realized I forgot the key to my
apartment. How about you? You’re here early.” “I wanted to finish up a project I’m working on. Couldn’t sle ep so I thought I might as well get some work done.” “Oh.” I laugh a little, trying to lighten the tension. “Those motivational quotes must be doing their job.” She slings her bag over her shoulder and her silky hair swings. “And by the way, I have a guy that watches Cash’s ‘back door’ on the weekends. Because I’m the jealous ex type, what can I say? It’s a weakness.” I feel my face pale. Fuck fuck fuck. She saw me. “I used to go in that way too, did you know that?” Her question is scathing, and hurtful. “I, uh... no.” My life—all that work, the studies, the internships, the trying so hard for so long—literally flashes before my eyes. So does Ace. He must have told her to come to his less-conspicuous entrance too. Did he also tell her all those beautiful things he told me? Did he tell her, in the heat of a moment, that he was falling in love with her? Rylee walks past me toward the door. “I highly recommend you not mention you saw me here this morning. To anyone. Not Cash. Not Noah. Not Penelope. Definitely not Lacey. No one. If you can manage that, I’ll ke ep your little secret from the team. I’m sure they’d all be very interested to find out that you’re sle eping with the boss. How long has it been going on? Since before you got hired, by any chance? I’m impressed, honestly. You really wanted this job.” “It wasn’t like that.” Wow, she’s cold-hearted. And I react to it. I can’t stop myself. “They know it was you.” She blinks, shaken. But then she regains that ice-queen composure. “They might suspect it was me. But they can’t prove it. And neither can you. So do yourself a favor and ke ep our secret to yourself.” Rylee doesn’t know me very well. She doesn’t know that I’m not a pushover. Or that I’m tough because I’ve had to be. But I’m also kind, because I’ve always found that grit and kindness are the best ways to get what you want. For me, it’s the only combination that’s ever worked. “Just saying, this is the worst, most obvious heist in the world. Everyone in this office suspects you. And you were never going to win him back this way.” At the mention of Cash, a vulnerability softens her expression. I can see there that she’s not purely evil, she’s just really hurt. She loved him. She still loves him. So much, maybe, she’s blind to how crazy her actions are. I can relate. I happen to know how easy he is to fall for. “It’s not late to fix this, Rylee.” She wavers. She takes a few seconds to consider that. “I’ll help you,” I say. But she notices again the look of me. The obviousness of what happened after I was ushered through the back door of the CEO’s building. I watch her jealousy slide back into place. Her disdain. “Fix what? As I said, I came in early to work. If you insist on discussing that with anyone, I’ll take you down with me.” With that, she walks out.