Ray
The wind howling through the trees and smacking against the front of my old Toyota was the
only sound other than the roaring engine. Above, the lights of Boulder barely hid the stars, and
the almost full moon in the distance lit the road in front of me as I drove past the city limits.
I glanced at the clock on my dashboard. Twenty minutes off, so when I did the math, it was
just past three in the morning.
I’d let him get to me. I left him alone in my bed, alone in the empty house with too many
ghosts from the past. I’d needed air, space, the lack of his arms around me. Thinking clearly
didn’t come easily with him around, and I’d proven to myself just how easily he could fog up my
head, convince me of things I didn’t believe, and change the course of my life.
De ep down, I knew there was a chance he was telling me the truth. But I also knew that if I
clung to that, I would inevitably get hurt. The overwhelmingly more likely scenario was that he
was lying to get me into bed again. I couldn’t put that past him, couldn’t assume better of him.
He was truly the worst kind of man I could have ever fallen for. He knew how I felt. He knew
it was real for me. Using it against me just to get his dick wet... I tightened my hands on the
steering wheel, my knuckles nearly white. Being exactly what I’d envisioned, what I’d hoped he
was, was his ticket into my goddamn head again. I wondered how many other women had gone
through that with him, how many had fallen prey to his manipulative ways and come out the
other side burned, or worse, stayed
for a while, allowing him to have control over them, constantly vying for his attention.
I wouldn’t be like them. I wasn’t his bunny and I never would be. Reaching for the volume
dial on my console, I twisted it around twice, hoping that whatever CD I’d slammed in there
years ago might work this time and drown out the unrelenting thoughts. Nothing happened
though, and I made a mental note to take it in to get fixed at some point now that I had some
spare cash.
The receding lights of Boulder didn’t faze me as I drove further west. The mountains
engulfed the town quickly, leaving nothing but the last bits of snow on the trees shimmering in
my rearview mirror. Nature’s reminder that even the harshest of weather will lose its grip
eventually made the ache in my chest that much stronger.
I didn’t want to believe there was something better out there. The part of my mind that still
longed for him more than I’d ever longed for anyone burned hot, telling me to turn around, to
crawl back into bed beside him, to apologize when he inevitably woke and say I’d just gone to
the bathroom. My fingers twitched toward the switch of the turn signal, my own body fighting
with me and daring me to drive home.
I couldn’t do that, though. I couldn’t see him again. My breathing slowly started to calm, my
heart rate steadied, and my mind ran out of twisting thoughts. Not sure whether it was my head
coming back to reality or the feeling of exhaustion cre eping over me, I took a de ep breath and
stared harder at the road, trying to make out where I’d ended up.
A sign to my left flashed in the blink of an eye. Harris Farms. Zane’s friend, Hunter, had
mentioned that his family owned ranches in the area. Agriculture, he’d said when I asked him
what he did for a living. Harris had been the last name he gave me when I’d pried just a little bit
more.
I watched the sign fade from view in my driver’s side mirror, my eyes glued to the way the
moonlight cascaded over it, leaves creating dancing shadows across the letters.
Tires screeching, the sound of metal crunching. My chest slammed into the steering wheel,
something snapping inside. Glass shattered. A scream—mine?—echoed in the building smoke.
Adrenaline and fear pumped through my veins like a raging fire, melting the snow around me,
and—why is it so cold? A chill se eped into my spine, my hands, my feet. Snow covered grass of
shimmering white flakes beneath
me, little droplets of blood taking up my narrowing vision. Darkness cr ept in on either side of
me, the flickering of two sets of headlights fading, until...
Nothing.