Lily Last night, Gage made up for the two days we didn’t see each other. I swear, we christened every wall in Larkin’s private room. I k ept my expectations low when it was time to leave the club. I had a hard time containing my smile when Gage announced he was spending the night in my room with me curled up in his arms. Best. Sle ep. Ever. I figured today he would be busy doing CEO stuff and I wouldn’t see him until later. He surprised me in the best possible way. He slipped out of my bed early and headed to the office to cram as much work as possible in the first hours of the day, so we can have an extended lunch. When Mikki suggested we enjoy an afternoon French tea, I let her know I was hanging out with Gage.
She was more excited than I was. Not that I know how that’s even possible, considering, I’ve been counting the minutes until I see him again. I’m being reckless with my heart. In two days, I fly back to New York, and this fairytale will surely come to a screeching halt. Gage hasn’t talked about us seeing each other or ke eping in touch. I didn’t bring it up. I refuse to stress over things I can’t control. I prefer to enjoy a wonderful day with a man that knows how to rock my world. The billionaire mogul could be wheeling and dealing. Instead, he chose to play hooky with me for a few hours. He could’ve bought me the most expensive gift on the planet, and I wouldn’t be this elated. Spending time with him trumps everything. The ride up Pacific Coast Highway to Malibu in Gage’s German automobile was as exhilarating the second time around. This is another perfect day to enjoy a picnic outside. This time around, we’re in a different resting spot than the one we were at the last time. Since it’s Wednesday, there’s only a smattering of people here and there, which is nice. Instead of ordering sandwiches from the Pompadour Hotel, we dropped by one of Gage’s favorite Italian eateries. The lip-smacking chicken cutlet pesto hero sandwich is one of the best things I’ve ever put in my mouth... other than Gage’s cock. My gaze swings in the brooding hottie’s direction. He left his suit jacket and tie in his car. Even with his white shirt unbuttoned and sans tie, he gives off the vibes of a badass CEO. He winks. God, I have it bad for this guy. “I thought I was being too greedy when I couldn’t decide between the cookies and cream flavor and the chocolate cookies and cream.” I feign he doesn’t affect me. “I’m glad I followed your advice and selected both.” “Two ice cream flavors chock-full of sandwich cream cookies outsourced from a local bakery? O’Dwyer’s know what they’re doing.” “I couldn’t agree more,” I say. “I’m a huge fan of Oreo cookies, but I must say this gourmet option is outstanding.” “You’re sure you don’t want me to help you with the ice cream?” “No.” “You didn’t even finish half your sandwich.” Gage reaches for my dessert. I angle my body. “Hands off, buddy.” I was only able to handle a quarter of the colossal sandwich. I’m full, but I won’t admit it. I narrow my eyes at him. “You knew what you were doing when you picked that sandwich place. Your plan was to get me so full, you’d end up eating my ice cream.” He finished his half pint of ice cream a while ago and he’s been watching me with amusement as I struggle through mine. He gives one of my braids an affectionate tug. “The sun is beating hard. Your ice cream is going to melt. Take one more bite and give me the rest.” He attempts to grab my half pint. I pull my ice cream away from his greedy hands. “Wash your mouth out with soap. Even when this”—I lower my eyes to the container I’m holding —“turns to the consistency of milkshake, I’ll still soldier on.” “If you say so.” He chuckles. Gage is probably going to have to carry me to his Wiesmann GT MF4, but I manage to finish the last spoonful of ice cream. It’s on the tip of my tongue to say, showed you, but I
refrain. He rummages through the freezer bag and pulls out another container of ice cream. He bought himself two? “Peanut buttercup ice cream.” He shrugs. “I couldn’t resist.” “You have quite the appetite.” On top of a chicken cutlet sandwich, a porchetta one, and three quarters of my sandwich, he ingested a half pint of ice cream in record time. True, he’s a big guy, but come on, the man is eating for three. “I fucked you hard last night numerous times and again this morning. Other than the tall latte and two almond croissants I grabbed at the Pompadour’s café before hitting the road, I’ve been running on empty. I need sustenance.” I shake my head. “Want a spoonful?” He extends an arm. “No, thanks. One more bite and this flowy dress will be formfitting.” Gage nods. As he stuffs his face with ice cream, I adjust myself on the blanket, leaning back on my hands to work on my tan. Out of the blue, bits and pieces of the conversation I had with Dark Compulsion’s owner pop into my head. I sit up straight and cross my legs underneath my floral maxi dress. “Can I ask you a question?” He swallows a spoonful of ice cream. “Shoot.” “Zeus-slash-Larkin said something last night I can’t shake off. Maybe I’m making too much of it, but it sounded profound... like it had to do with something more than me being your date.” “What did he say?” His good mood fades. I hesitate. I twist my lips to the side, unsure if I have the courage to pursue this. Remember, Lily. Curiosity killed the cat. His eyebrows sink. “What do you want to know?” I take in a de ep breath. “Larkin said, ‘Good on you for getting a tiger to change his stripes. Not an easy feat considering Lucius can be dead set in his ways. You’ve reformed him.’ What did he mean by that?” His face falls. Oh, no. “Gage, I’m sorry—” He lifts a hand, cutting my sentence short. He discards the container of ice cream in a trash bag, wipes his hands with a paper napkin, and disposes of it. “Come closer.” He taps the blanket next to him. I get on my hands and knees and crawl towards him. I sit where he indicates and adjust myself. He cocks a brow. “What?” He leans in and drops a tender kiss on my lips. “Good girl. I didn’t even have to ask.” I beam. “I haven’t told this story in a long time.” The expression on his face is sombre. “I’m not sure how I’m going to react.” His warning scares me, but I don’t let on. “I’m honored you’d be willing to share something that personal.” He responds with a slow nod. He doesn’t speak for a long beat. “Three years ago, my mom died.” I suck in a breath. “Even though I was the baby of the family, since I was a boy––the only boy––Dad made me promise I’d always take care of my mom and my sisters. He was most concerned about Mom because he always said she had a soft heart. He was right. Mom was always too trusting.” “Your dad loved your mom.” “He did. And she loved him right back.” If we could all be that lucky in love. “Mom was single for many years after my dad passed away,” he says. “She always proclaimed she
would never love again.” A cloud of sadness veils his green eyes, turning them stormy. “My sisters k ept nudging her, stating you’re allowed to fall in love more than once in your lifetime. Since I was never much of a romantic, I stayed out of it. Then, one day, Mom announced she had met Judson Timmons.” His eyes drift in the distance for a beat. “He was in his mid-forties, so a decade younger than Mom. He was a bit player—” “What’s that?” “It’s industry talk to describe an actor who’s ranked higher than a background actor, but lower than that of a supporting actor.” “I see.” “Judson had one noteworthy supporting role, but struggled to get another. His side modeling gigs were his bread and butter.” He pinches his lips. “You two didn’t get along?” “From the moment I met him, I disliked him.” His eyes lower to his lap, and he curls his hands into fists. “I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I didn’t trust him. My sister Sara suggested I give the guy a chance.” “Did your other sisters feel the same way?” His gaze locks onto mine. “My two older sisters were in Europe, managing international Stream Tunes offices, but they flew back and forth, so they met Judson. My eldest sister Lana was Switzerland. She couldn’t decide if she liked him or not. My middle sister Marika was one hundred percent team Judson. She was thrilled Mom hooked up with a hot man who was younger but still age-appropriate. She chastised me for taking the oath I took with my father too far. Mom was a grown woman and she could date––and fall in love––with whomever she wanted.” “You didn’t agree?” “It killed me to bite my tongue, but I didn’t want to be labeled as the son who refused his mom’s happiness. A year into their relationship, Judson proposed. I put my foot down and told Judson point blank that hell would freeze over before I ever called him st epdad. I didn’t leave room for argument. Mom scolded me for using my size to threaten her soon-to-be husband. I towered over him when I explained how things were going to work between us. It’s not my fault he was only five-ten. Marika wasn’t impressed, but she shut up when I asked her if she intended on calling Judson st epdad.” “Your sister was rooting for him.” “She was. And she regretted standing by the idiot when we found out he was a lowlife.” Yikes. “I accompanied Judson and a bunch of his friends to Sin City for his bachelor party. I couldn’t get out of it without hurting Mom, but I wanted to be anywhere in the world exc ept Vegas.” He lets out a long breath. “There was something about the way he looked at women during the weekend that irked me. I guess my annoyance was written all over my face. His best friend approached me as I was brooding at the bar, and decided to educate me.” I tilt my head to the side. “What did he tell you?” “Before a man gets the noose put around his neck, he’s allowed to look as long as he doesn’t touch.” “That’s a horrible way of looking at a bachelor party. And marriage.” He shrugs. “That’s what I thought. Judson might not have been touching those women, but he was undressing them with his eyes.” “Did you tell your mom?” “I did. She parroted a line similar to Judson’s best friend.” “Oh.” “Yeah.” His lips twist in disdain. “Judson and Mom’s first year of marriage went by without much fanfare, and life continued. During that year, Hartley Stewart and I were hooking up. She was the third assistant producer of an up-and-coming daytime talk show. It was casual. Therefore, at no point did I intend on introducing her to my mom. The universe laughed in my face about that last one—”
“In what sense?” “Mom didn’t need to work, but to ke ep herself busy, I hired her as a rec eptionist.” “She was working, but nothing too demanding.” He nods. “I was going full steam ahead, opening offices around the globe. I was out of the country for two weeks. Upon my return, Hartley and I were going out for dinner, and I was supposed to pick her up at her place, but she couldn’t wait to see me. She complained about my long absence. Since she had a dermatologist appointment, she swung by my office once she was done.” “That’s how Hartley met your mom?” “That day marked the beginning of the end for my family.” My heart breaks for him. “It so happened Judson decided to surprise Mom on the same day by dropping by at the office to take her out for drinks. I was in a meeting, and when I got back to the office, there was Hartley and Judson, enjoying coffee and desserts in the rec eption area, laughing their heads off like they were long-lost friends.” “They hit it off?” “Did they ever. Flash forward four months,” he says. “Stream Tunes was experiencing rapid growth. I was constantly boarding a plane. I expected Hartley to bitch about my prolonged absence, but she didn’t. It was a mistake on my part for not questioning her reaction. Or lack thereof.” I frown my confusion. “She wasn’t complaining because she was sle eping with someone else.” I flinch. “Did you catch her cheating on you?” “No.” He inhales a de ep breath and exhales. I can’t read his expression, but I brace myself for whatever he’s about to say. “Mom was attending a friend’s vow renewal ceremony in Napa Valley. Judson stayed behind, citing he had an important casting call for a supporting role in a movie directed by a blockbuster director—” “He lied?” “If that was his only sin,” Gage says. “Mom left for Napa Valley early morning on a Thursday for her extended weekend. I was flying to Australia the next day for a week. I was burning the candle at both the ends, so when I arrived in Sydney, I crashed. I sl ept for twelve hours straight. When I woke up—midday Sydney time—it felt like I’d sl ept for a week. I was invigorated. Since it was the weekend, I made the decision to st ep out of the CEO role for half a day. Instead of checking different entertainment or music industry sites to catch up on the latest news, I went for a swim. An hour later, I was starved. Without a care in the world, I headed to a little eatery that served all day breakfast. Afterwards, I decided to walk around. That was a mistake.” “How so?” “Sara was trying to get a hold of me, but she couldn’t because I didn’t bother checking if my battery was running low—or if it was dead.” The guilt in his voice is unmistakable. “When I returned to the hotel, the concierge who had helped me when I arrived was on duty. He flagged me down and told me there was an emergency at home and I needed to call my sister in LA.” I place a hand on my chest. “He guided me to an office where I was able to plug my phone and charge it. The second I could access my voicemail, I did. I listened to message after message of my sister begging me to call her. Sara was crying when I called her back. I thought something had happened to her husband.” “Oh my God, your mom?” He holds my gaze for a beat. “Mom had to cut her trip short. Her and her friends took a road trip on the Friday and stopped at a Mexican restaurant to eat. The ceviche didn’t agree with Mom, and she ended up sick as a dog. She was so ill, she couldn’t even conceive making it through her friends’ vow renewal ceremony.” “Poor thing.” “She spent most of the night hugging the toilet. The next day, she visited the drugstore for something to settle her stomach, and then flew home. She didn’t call Judson to let him know. All she
wanted was to curl up in her own bed.” “There’s nothing worse than being sick in a strange bed.” He nods. “When she entered her home, there was a pair of women’s shoes in the foyer that weren’t hers. As she was kicking off her shoes, she heard people laughing somewhere in the house. Mom made her way barefoot through the house, following the sounds of laughter to the kitchen. When she got to the threshold, she froze. She had a prime view of Judson’s naked butt, his arms laced around a woman—” “Her husband was cheating on her?” “From where Mom was standing, she couldn’t tell if the woman was naked or not, but her legs were bare and she was barefoot. As her mind scrambled to make sense of what she was witnessing, Judson said, ‘I can’t wait to meet our baby’.” I gasp in horror. “The woman was Hartley?” “Yes, it was fucking Hartley.” “How could they go behind your back and your mom’s back like that?” “I wasn’t emotionally invested with Hartley, so my heart wasn’t broken.” Gage levels me with a hard stare, curling his hands into fists. “Mom... loved Judson.” “That must’ve been a shock for the idiot cheaters, since they assumed your mom was at that wedding.” “Not as much of a shock as it was for Mom.” “She must’ve seen red.” “What the fuck, dropped from Mom’s lips after she heard Judson’s devastating revelation. When they turned to face her, Hartley was as naked as the day she was born. Her messy blonde hair and Judson’s freshly fucked brown hair, telltale signs of what was as clear as day.” What a horrible way for your marriage to explode in your face. Not that there’s ever a good way to find out you married a lowlife. Gage rubs his hands over his face. The torment I read in his green eyes is heartbreaking. I place my hand on his leg. “You don’t have to continue if this is too difficult.” He places a hand on top of mine. “I want to answer your question.” “Okay.” “Mom, Judson, and Hartley got into a heated argument. It got nasty. In the end, Judson made his allegiance clear—Hartley and the baby.” “Why didn’t Judson tell your mom he wanted a divorce, instead of crushing her heart? I mean, it would’ve avoided so much drama.” Why do people cheat? Why? Why? Why? “He’s a spineless piece of shit.” “And Hartley is a heartless cunt.” “Well said.” “Sorry. I interrupted you.” He picks up where he left off. “Gutted, Mom stormed out of there. She got in her car and drove for a while until she was crying so hard, she couldn’t see in front of her.” Sympathy floods my system. “She parked her car and called Sara. Through a river of tears, she filled in my sister on the dramatic scene she witnessed. Sara said she was inconsolable—” “Which is understandable—” “She should’ve never been in that fragile state of mind to begin with.” Gage’s nostrils flare. “Asshole Judson should’ve k ept his dick in his pants.” I wince. “What I said, came out the wrong way.” His hand squeezes mine. “I’m not upset at you, angel.” “I get it. The emotions still consume you.” He nods. Several beats pass. I don’t rush him. “It took Sara a long time to calm Mom down. When our mother wasn’t as frantic, she told her to drive to her place and stay the rest of the weekend.” He pauses. “My sister lives in Rancho Palos Verdes—” “Where’s that?” “Sara needs to live right by the ocean. It’s in her DNA, which is why she lives in a coastal city atop the bluffs of the Palos Verdes Peninsula. It’s located an hour away without traffic from
Brentwood—where Mom lived. Since this is LA, there’s no such thing as no traffic.” “Traffic must’ve been brutal on a Saturday night.” “It was,” he says. “Mom called Sara at eight p. m., so she figured it would be a solid ninety minutes before she got to her place. By eleven p. m., Sara was getting worried. She texted Mom to find out if she was close. No answer. Her phone rang, but it wasn’t our mother. It was Judson. The police had called him to inform him Mom had been in a fatal accident.” “Dear God.” Tears prickle my eyes. “Mom was trying to change lanes on the freeway, probably to exit, when she got hit from the back, full force by a thief who was trying to evade the police in a stolen car. From the footage, Mom was trapped in a horrific scene right out of the show Cops.” He takes a de ep breath. “She lost control of her vehicle and veered into the path of a cargo truck. She had zero chance of survival. Mom died on impact.” His revelation slays me, his pain becoming mine. I close my eyes, as tears roll down my cheeks. Gage wipes them with his thumb. When I open my eyes, he’s crying. Not giving a fuck who’s around us, I jump into his arms. He embraces me close to his body, his chest heaving. There’s no comparison in size. I want to hold and protect this strong man who’s been hurting for too long. I hug the hell out of him for several breaths before I’m willing to break the embrace. When I do, he rummages through the bags for some paper napkins to wipe his face before handing me a wad of them. I’m crying so much, I need a towel, but this will have to do. “And you were in Australia when all this happened?” My voice cracks when I manage to speak. “You were so far way.” “Yes. I was oblivious on the other side of the planet. With my heart broken into a million pieces, I managed to get myself back to LA.” “Did you confront Judson and Hartley?” He shakes his head. “I couldn’t deal with them.” “Was Judson at the funeral?” “We made it clear he wasn’t welcome.” “Oh, wow.” “It was either that or he would’ve ended up six feet under, and I would’ve ended up wearing an orange jumpsuit for the rest of my life.” “I understand.” “It took me a week after the funeral to confront Judson. I showed up at my mom’s house with my lawyer and the police—” “They were going to arrest Judson for your mom’s death? I thought she was killed by a thief who was trying to evade the police?” “No, Judson was squatting.” “How could he be squatting when he was married to your mom?” “Prenup,” he says. “In the event of Mom’s passing, her house—and all its content and cars—reverted to me. That was part of her will. It was the proudest day of my life when I upgraded her home to an exclusive LA zip code she never thought she’d live in. It was a sad day when Judson moved in with her.” “He didn’t have any claims to the house?” “None whatsoever,” Gage says. “Since he wasn’t a tenant, he was a freeloader who had overstayed his welcome. The police were there to ensure things didn’t get out of hand, aka I didn’t force him to meet his maker.” From his flared nostrils, it’s clear, his bitterness towards Judson hasn’t subsided. Not that I blame him. “Did you ke ep the house?” He shakes his head. “I owned a house. Renting it was an option, but that house was tainted with Judson and Hartley’s betrayal. Since this is LA, and it was a fully renovated house in a coveted neighborhood, the house sold in a bidding war the minute it hit the market. I donated a large portion of the money to the single moms’ shelter Mom donated money and her time to.”
“That was so generous.” “Mom would’ve wanted that,” he says. “When my half-sisters’ asshole father bailed out on them, Mom didn’t think she would ever be able to ke ep a roof over her head and food on the table, given she didn’t have much of an education. She was lucky her parents acc epted her back into their tiny, rented house. And she was lucky she met my father. She never took her good fortune for granted.” “Your mom, in heaven, must’ve been so proud of you on that day.” He closes his eyes. “I hope so.” I squeeze his hand. Sad green eyes meet mine. “I’m certain of it, Gage.” With his lips pinched, he offers a tight nod. “I guess Judson saw it coming?” “Even though he had signed an iron-clad prenup, he was irate he had to move out. He felt he should’ve been able to stay until he found another place to live.” I shake my head in disbelief. “Good for your mom for getting that asshole to sign a prenup.” “She didn’t want to––” “She didn’t?” “I put my foot down and I was unwilling to budge. That’s one thing all my sisters and I agreed on.” “Thank God,” I say. “What about Hartley?” “I blocked her ass so she couldn’t call or text. The temp who was working the phone after Mom’s passing had clear instructions to tell Hartley I was unavailable until the end of time when she phoned. That didn’t stop the bitch from trying harder. One day, I received a couriered envelope from her. It was a three-page hand-written letter.” “What did the letter say?” “I don’t know.” “You didn’t read it?” “No. I marched to the supply room with the letter in hand, powered up the shredder, and turned her words into confetti. Then, I grabbed the half-full plastic bag containing the shredded paper, headed towards the elevators, rode down to the building’s maintenance area located in the basement, and dumped the contents of the plastic bag into the secure bin. I didn’t want any part of that two-faced bitch in my surroundings.” He doesn’t do things halfway. “I made it clear to the security guards Hartley and Judson were persona non grata,” he says. “Same for any parcels or letters coming from the two low-lives.” “You don’t need toxic people in your life. Onward and forward.” “Not so fast,” he says. I frown. “I’m not much of a turn the other cheek kinda guy. You hurt me or anyone I care for, you’ll live to regret it.” “What did you do?” My question is cautious. A storm whirls in his eyes. “Between my contacts, the contacts of my inner circle, and the long list of high rollers Larkin knows, I made sure Judson couldn’t get a job in the entertainment industry in LA, New York, and Miami. For good measure, I extended my reach to London, Ireland, Australia, and North Hollywood––Vancouver and Toronto. Unless he was gifted with the ability to learn a new language at light speed, I had destroyed his career.” “He could’ve ended up being a news anchor in a small market.” “The stations in small markets from coast to coast are owned by bigger fish. I had that covered.” Don’t ever get on Gage Hollingsworth’s bad side. “Did you do the same for Hartley?” “I didn’t have to. Her show got cancelled not long after Mom’s death. The last I heard, she moved to Wisconsin to be with Judson. That’s where he’s from. As long as they were nowhere near LA, I didn’t care.” A long beat passes between us. Gage’s gaze meets mine. His expression is like granite. “I regret not hiring a PI when Mom––” “You didn’t know.” “I should’ve listened to my gut. My instincts never failed me in business. Yet, when I needed them most, they did. There was something that irked me about the way he was so friendly with
Hartley when they first met. And it had nothing to do with jealousy—I wasn’t in love with Hartley and never felt territorial about her. The bachelor party was another episode that had my hackles rising. Again, I ignored my intuition. I promised Dad I’d ke ep Mom safe, and I failed.” He furrows his brow and presses his lips into a tight line. “The warning signs were there, as bright as neon signs, but I ignored them. For years, I blamed myself for my mother’s death.” An ache blooms in my chest. I love his strength, his commitment to the oath he took with his father, and his protective nature. But he has to stop with the self-flagellation. I bring his hands to my lips and kiss them. The sadness in his eyes is overwhelming. It shatters me. I inhale a de ep breath for courage. “Judson and Hartley are the guilty ones. Not you, Gage.” “My punishment for sle eping at the wheel was to cut out pleasure from my life.” He ke eps talking as if I didn’t say anything. “So, back to your question––” “Which one?” “I went on for so long, you forgot the question that initiated all this rambling.” “I’m so sorry,” I say. “I was so taken by your heartbreaking story.” “You asked me about the comment Larkin made at the club.” I slap my forehead with the palm of my hand. “Sorry. Yes.” “When I’ve visited Dark Compulsion in the past, it was either as a voyeur in one of the Peek-a-boo rooms, watching more risqué couples get down and dirty in the main party room, or hookup with an orally obsessed member.” I scrunch up my nose. “What’s that entail?” “Some female members get off giving blowjobs while taking matters into their own hands when it comes to their own pleasure.” My eyes widen. “They’re nothing more than a willing mouth? Giving without receiving?” “I was riddled with survivor guilt. I couldn’t offer much more than that. I never led them on. I was always forthcoming. Since I went out of my way to avoid intimacy, I never undressed. I only pulled out my cock. And the hookups took place on the main floor.” “You mean these women were... giving you... blowjobs in the middle of the main party room?” He shakes his head. “There are secluded spots on the first floor and in the gardens that offer privacy, without it being as intimate as reserving a room or a lounge room.” “Oh.” Jealousy prickles at my skin. Silly Lily. He’s been with other women. Why else would he pay such an exorbitant annual fee to be part of an exclusive adult club? Still, the awareness irks me. “I never attended theme nights,” he says. “Why not?” “It’s a mix of members and guests. Most female members knew the drill when it came to me. I wasn’t in the mind space to turn down guests without coming across as rude, so I didn’t show up.” “I see.” “As bad as it sounds, after Hartley, I didn’t trust women, so I k ept it to basic needs.” “I can understand.” “I haven’t hooked up with a member or guest in an intimate way since Mom died three years ago.” He taps the tip of my nose. “Not until you came along.” My smile is wide. His phone rings. My eyes shift to the device lying on the blanket. He snatches it up, but not before I see a name flash on the screen. Enid. “I have to take this,” he says. I nod. “Sure. No problem.” My eyes shift to the horizon, pretending not to eavesdrop. He hums and nods at whatever the other person says. “I’ll see you soon.” With that, he ends the call.
I plaster a forced smile on my face. “I sense you’re about to put an end to our lunch.” His gaze meets mine. “The person I’m meeting arrived at her hotel. I have to go.” “Will I see you later?” I hate how desperate I sound. He ponders my question. “I’m not sure. I might be caught up for the rest of the evening. This person traveled far to do me a solid.” Insecurity pricks at my bones. “Playing CEO is a full-time job.” I try to add levity to my voice, but fail. “Something like that.” I wait for him to confirm this Enid chick is a business associate, but he doesn’t. My belly dives and flops. I’m not jealous. Nope. Not at all. Not even a little bit. He’s not my boyfriend. I can totally do casual and walk away. I’m leaving in two days. This was supposed to be fun and lighthearted. No strings attached. No promises. No expectations. No drama. Ba boom. Ba boom. Ba boom. This stupid throbbing in my heart needs to stop. Pronto.