Zach On our first night in Wisconsin, the girls demanded pizza for dinner. Jennifer climbed onto one of the barstools in the kitchen, her expression completely serious. “We want cheese, but like, fancy cheese. Because this is a fancy house.” “Fancy cheese is not a thing,” Lu informed her. “It is too.” “What kind of cheese qualifies as fancy?” I asked carefully, sensing danger when my brain jumped straight to top-tier blue and aged cheeses. I highly doubted that was what she was referring to, though. “Do you know the name of it?” Jennifer thought about it for a beat. “The stretchy kind.” “That’s very helpful,” I said. “What else do you want on yours?” “I want p epperoni,” Lu announced. I nodded and ordered enough pizza to feed a small army. In the few hours we’d been here, I’d rapidly started learning that children operated on unpredictable hunger patterns and constantly asked for snacks. In the meantime, Adeline sat beside me with a serene expression on her face, her blue eyes on the rain pelting the swimming pool outside. She’d pulled her hair up into a ponytail that hung in a smooth, strawberry blonde wave down her back. Like this, she looked so much like she used to. Even the dark circles that had been under her eyes when I’d first seen her again in that restaurant were lighter now. I didn’t know this for sure, but it definitely seemed like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. I didn’t want to take all the credit for it, but I sure as hell hoped I’d had something to do with it, at least. Amber resurfaced from the guest house before I could ask if she’d like to stay here with the girls even longer, walking into the kitchen and immediately starting to throw digs at me again. “My recovery nap was awesome, but your guest house has too many bedrooms.” “You have too many opinions,” I r eplied easily, finally deciding that if she was going to insist on dishing it out, she was going to have to take it too. “Especially for someone who drove here in a car that looks like it lost a fight with a Crayola box.” She scoffed. “It’s vintage. That color was limited edition.” “For a reason,” I said. “No one wanted to buy them.” Her eyes rolled as she dropped into the stool beside Jennifer’s. She hadn’t stormed out and she didn’t seem offended at all, which was a good sign. “Green is a great color,” she said. “For a tree,” I said. “Also, have all the curbs in Chicago sparred with your car or did you drive into them on purpose?”
Jennifer burst into giggles and even Lu laughed at that. I blinked hard, surprised, but I had to admit, that was a high point for me. Lu didn’t seem to laugh easily. Amber folded her arms. “My car has personality.” “The only thing that car has is a short future ahead of it.” “Only because it’s had such a storied life,” she said. “Which is more than I can say for that monstrosity you’ve got parked outside. What, did you get it yesterday when you realized we wouldn’t all fit into whatever spiffy little sports car you really drive?” “I got it this morning, actually.” The girls dissolved into hysterics, obviously not realizing that I’d been serious, but I didn’t point it out either. Across the table, Adeline was still looking soft and relaxed, watching us and listening. Amusement lit her eyes, but she didn’t say anything. I caught myself looking at her again every few seconds, unable to stop now that it had dawned on me that she was really here. Adeline Morris, in my ranch house. Never thought that was going to happen. Naturally, I also k ept pretending I wasn’t staring at her. Theo had spent my entire adolescence informing me I had the subtlety of a freight train when I liked someone. If the knowing look on Amber’s face was anything to go by, he’d been correct for once. When the pizza arrived, I went to get it. We ate right there at the kitchen island while Bear stationed himself beneath the table like a hopeful little scavenger. Lu stole olives off Jennifer’s plate for the sole purpose of instigating conflict and Adeline laughed with Amber, but she k ept sneaking glances at me too. At one point, I even caught her flashing me a smile and my heart did something in response that was completely unhealthy. After dinner, the girls launched into negotiations to try and weasel their way into my theater room. They’d discovered it earlier and the squeals had been ear piercing, but there had been something satisfying about it. Clearly, they liked the place, and although it was probably just the novelty of having so much space after being cooped up in that condo, I found it strangely gratifying that my house had their seal of approval. “Can we have a movie night?” Jennifer asked hopefully. “With popcorn,” Lu said. Adeline checked her watch, then snorted softly. “Not tonight, ladies. It’s way past your bedtime and you still need a bath, too.” “But we’re on vacation,” Jennifer argued. “There’s no bedtime on vacation.” “There is when you’re both going to be crabby tomorrow if you don’t get enough sle ep.” Amber nodded her agreement. “Even I’m going to bed. I have plans to explore tomorrow and I don’t want to be too tired to enjoy that. Do you?” Jennifer immediately shook her head, but Lu seemed to be considering it. Either way, Adeline stood and herded them to the stairs, much to their dismay. Loud groans rang out, but they went with her after saying goodnight to Amber and me.
She stood up too, sending me a curt salute as she backed out of the kitchen. “Good luck tomorrow. You’re going to need it.” I didn’t argue with her. “Thanks. Good luck choosing a bed in all those bedrooms.” She laughed and left, and I suddenly found myself alone. Amber wasn’t a teenager, but I weirdly felt uncertain about having her sle ep in the guest house all by herself anyway. Can kids still sneak out to go partying if they’re in their early twenties and out in the Wisconsin countryside? As I considered it, I decided it probably wasn’t classified as sneaking out anymore at that age. It was probably just leaving. I started collecting the pizza boxes, transferring all the leftover slices to one before carrying that over to the fridge, but the longer I was alone, the more uncertain I was. About everything. For fuck’s sake. Two crises of confidence in one day? I hadn’t even had one of those in the last decade, but at this rate, I was going to be surviving on them for the next ten years. The problem was that I’d had almost no time to pr epare myself for this and I had absolutely no idea what it was supposed to look like. Adeline was upstairs putting the girls to sle
Ep I knew that much. What I didn’t know was whether I was supposed to help or stay out of the way. Once Adeline and I were married, I was going to be their st epfather, but only just thinking that word almost gave me heart palpitations. In the end, I took the empty pizza boxes to the trash and cleaned up instead of trying to figure out what—if any—role I was supposed to play in the girls’ lives. An hour later, soft footst eps sounded behind me and I turned to find Adeline standing in the doorway. Her eyes were soft and sle epy. They’d always looked that way after nine at night, even back in the days when our parties at college had only started at ten. I tried not to imagine lifting her onto the counter and kissing her senseless like I used to when she looked like that. Fuck, remembering those days was not helpful right now at all, so I cleared my throat and k ept my eyes on hers instead of letting them roam all over her body. “They finally crashed?” I asked. “Barely,” she r eplied with a laugh. “Jennifer wanted to know if cows sle ep standing up and Lu somehow turned the question into an existential crisis in volving sharks, she ep, and the moon.” “Wow.” A soft, small smile appeared on her lips. “Yeah, bedtime is always a laugh a minute, but it’s still one of my favorite parts of the day.” “It is?” “There’s nothing quite like those few minutes when they’re finally relaxing after a long day and just talking about nothing and everything at once.”
I nodded like I knew what she was talking about, but honestly, I didn’t understand and wasn’t sure I ever would. To me, it’d seemed like it might be her favorite part of the day because she knew then that they’d be asle ep soon, but apparently, it was about the period before she finally got some peace and quiet. Confusing much? “Anyway,” she said as she drifted further into the kitchen. “Where did you put my suitcase? I was looking for it to change, but I wasn’t even sure where to start.” “Right. Of course. It’s in the master bedroom. Last door on your left,” I said without thinking at all about what it was going to sound like, and by the time my brain caught up, Adeline was staring at me with wide eyes. I nearly swallowed my own tongue before I started backtracking. “What I meant to say is that you’re staying in the master bedroom. I’m in one of the guest rooms.” Smooth, Zach. Real smooth. Excellent recovery. “I just thought you should have the best room,” I said. “They’re all great. Of course. I didn’t put you in there because I wanted you sle eping in my be—” I finally cut myself off when a tiny smile tugged at her mouth. “You know what, never mind. Your suitcase is in the master. Let’s leave it at that.” “Thank you,” she said, still looking way more amused than the situation called for. If I was a blusher, I would have been beet red right about now, but instead, I tipped my head toward the fridge. “Wine?” “Please.” “That was the right answer.” She laughed. “Was there a wrong one?” “Yes, and it was no.” I headed over to the fridge, pulled out a bottle of white, filled two glasses, slid the cork back into the bottle, and pushed her glass across the counter. “Do the girls, uh, do they usually sle ep through the night? Shit, I don’t even know at what age that stops being a thing.” She pulled the glass closer and curled her fingers gracefully around the stem. Then she lifted it, sitting down on the stool across from me. “I don’t know if it ever stops being a thing. Obviously, it’s worse when they’re babies, but kids tend to wake up sometimes during the night anyway. They should be okay, though. They’re exhausted after today.” I nodded slowly, taking a sip of my wine before I sat down too. “I suppose you couldn’t let them know where you’d be sle eping because you didn’t know either. I’m sorry. I should’ve thought about that.” She smiled. “You can’t think of everything, Zach. As it is, you’ve thought of way more than anyone else would’ve.” I shrugged. “Just doing what needs to be done.” She gave me a look across the counter, and it dawned on me then that we were alone. Really alone. The girls were asle ep upstairs. Amber was in the guest house. Even Bear had retired for the night.
Memories of the last time we’d been alone at this time of night crashed into me like a wave. I didn’t mean for it to happen, but there was no stopping it. I’d been crazy for this girl back then. Mentally. Emotionally. Physically. I hadn’t been able to ke ep my hands off her. Okay, so maybe I would’ve been able to if I tried, but I didn’t. That same tension was suddenly brewing between us again now, that insane electricity I’d never felt with anyone else. It was weird that it was still as familiar as it was, but it was very much there, alive and well as those blue eyes held mine like she was remembering all the same things. Her nails digging into my shoulders. Those soft, needy little moans interspersed between gasps of my name. That furrow between her eyebrows when she came. Snap the fuck out of it. I blinked hard and refocused. It was time to tell her goodnight. That would be the normal, responsible thing to do. It was better than letting unresolved feelings stalk me through a house in rural Wisconsin, anyway. “Goodnight, Adeline.” See? Simple. Exc ept she reached for her wine glass at the exact moment I reached for the last pizza box still sitting on the counter, and somehow, her elbow clipped the stem. The glass tipped and white wine splashed against the island, both of us lunging for it simultaneously. Our heads nearly collided, and her hand hit mine reaching for the dish towel. Suddenly, we were way too close again, her lips only inches away from mine. My eyes dropped of their own accord, tracing the soft lines of her mouth for just a fraction of a second before I finally forced myself to grab the towel. She tried to wipe the spill with a napkin that disintegrated in her hand as soon as it got wet. “Gosh, this really isn’t helping.” “Paper products usually don’t win against liquids,” I teased lightly, hoping that if we just ignored this tension, it would go away, but it didn’t. Soft laughter bubbled out of her like a fucking fountain I wanted to jump into. “I panicked.” “I can see that.” “Hey, I didn’t ask for commentary.” I laughed and reached farther across the counter just as she leaned the same direction. She must have slipped a little or something, because the next thing I knew, she was falling toward me. Instinct took over before I’d even considered what I was about to do and I caught her by the waist. Everything in me instantly ground to a hard stop the second she was in my arms. It was intimate, a touch I still knew so well despite how long it had been. I knew the shape of her beneath my hands and the warmth of her body. I knew the soft gasp she sucked in when I pulled her against me.
It was all so terrifyingly familiar. Her eyes lifted to mine, still so devastating that she destroyed my entire nervous system with just one look. The moment I’d steadied her, I cleared my throat and st epped back, forcing my hands to let go before I did something stupid. “We should go to bed. It’s been a long day and a long few weeks before that.” She blinked a few times, like she was coming back to herself too. “You’re right.” Neither of us moved immediately, though. A few long seconds stretched between us before she finally nodded and picked up what was left of her wine. “I’ll just finish this in my room. Goodnight, Zach.” “Night.” I watched her disappear upstairs, but it took me a solid thirty seconds before I could move too. After cleaning up the rest of the spill, I headed upstairs myself, but as soon as I got into bed, my brain betrayed me. Memories could be cruel and the feeling of her waist beneath my hands r eplayed in a loop. As did the look she’d had in her eyes. The more I tried to stop thinking about it, the more insistent the memories became, not only of that incident downstairs but also further back. I lay there staring at the ceiling, painfully aware of an issue developing south of the border as I remembered hot, sweaty summer nights and all the things we’d done together. Groaning quietly into my pillow, I k ept my hands above the sheets to resist temptation while my mind started a targeted psychological attack. Eventually, I fell asle ep, but I even dreamed about her writhing underneath me. By five the next morning, I was up and out of bed. Dawn painted the world outside in pale gold and I checked my phone, the forecast promising another brutally hot day. Which means I’m going to have to get ahead of it if I want to squeeze in a run. Frankly, it wasn’t even just a want at this point. It was a need. I needed to blow off some of this steam before spending a whole day with her and running was the only way I knew how. So I changed and headed downstairs, grabbing a banana for breakfast. While I ate, I leaned against the kitchen island, scrolling absently through my running app and trying not to think about the fact Adeline was sle eping only one floor above me. A tiny voice spoke up from the doorway. “You chew loud.” I nearly launched the banana across the room, turning sharply to see Lu glaring at me. Holy shit. “How long have you been standing there?” She shrugged. “Not long.” “You scared the hell out of me.” Her eyebrows hiked up, her expression unimpressed. “You said a bad word.” “I said hell.” “You still owe me twenty dollars,” she said, matter of fact. “If that deal you made with your brother still counts, and it won’t be fair if it doesn’t.”
I narrowed my eyes slightly in thought, but she narrowed hers right back in challenge. I sighed. “Fine. I owe you twenty dollars. What are you doing awake this early?” She crossed her arms, not moving from where she’d parked herself in the doorway. “What are you doing awake?” “I’m going for a run before it gets too hot,” I said, hoping honesty would inspire the same thing in her. “Your turn.” “I woke up.” “Yeah, so did I, but why did you wake up so early? Don’t you want to sle ep in a bit?” She gave me another shrug, and in that moment, I realized that this kid was going to be my downfall. We stared at each other across the kitchen in complete silence, both openly assessing the other, and it suddenly hit me that my relationship with Adeline wasn’t going to be the most complicated part of this arrangement. Forging some kind of mutual friendship despite our history was going to be the least of my problems. The greatest challenge was going to be Lu. Yeah, I need to do something about this. I blew out a breath, wracking my brain for a way to get this child to at least tolerate me. That would be a good start. “Your scooter is still in the back of the Rolls,” I said when I remembered seeing it there. “Do you want to ride it with me while I run?” Naturally, the suggestion was met with instant suspicion. “I’m faster than you.” I snorted softly. “Do you want to bet? Twenty dollars?” She arched one tiny eyebrow, still glaring at me with a genuinely impressive amount of hostility for someone wearing strawberry-print pajamas. Then she suddenly turned toward the stairs. “I’m going to put my shoes on.” Okay. Maybe there’s some hope for us after all.