Somehow, Charlie had completely distracted her after all. Like, so much so that Carolina had ended up kissing him in that dark corner near the laser tag entrance. That had not been part of the plan. There was no plan. That was the problem. I’m in love with you. The second that had poured out of Charlie’s mouth, her brain had deserted her. Not because it was that big of a shock. A part of her recognized it as truth in that same moment. It was more that he’d readily confessed it, easily giving up that bit of leverage, and she wasn’t sure what it meant. Why he’d changed the game so early and so irrevocably. It was almost like he’d told her because he wanted her to know. As if he’d been ke eping it bottled up and couldn’t stop the contents of his heart from spilling out with no angle whatsoever. Which was impossible. Charlie always had angles. Multiple ones, usually designed to get what he wanted. This was still a bet and she had no doubt whatsoever that he hadn’t lost sight of that. Two-Buck Chuck would die before abandoning his tools. So why had he said that he wasn’t here to prove his tools worked? Some reason she hadn’t figured out yet, obviously. It was maddening. And then she’d ruined whatever advantage she might have gained by losing herself in the fun of the date Charlie had devised. It had been so much like old times, though. Before everything had gotten so complicated. She snuck a glance at his profile as he drove them home, but he caught her and flashed her a grin that set off tingles in her stomach. What was it about him that got her so hot and bothered? That was absolutely the reason she couldn’t let herself get taken in by all of his pretty words and his lush mouth that made her want to surrender instantly to whatever he had in mind. Therein lay his inherent danger. In laser tag, she was fine sticking to the shadows and letting him take the offensive. That worked well in a game that required a pronged approach. In their relationship, no. When they cleared the door of their condo—her condo—he seemed to be under the impression they were going to pick up where they left off, crowding her up against the door before it had barely shut behind them. Mute, she stared up at him, her pulse pounding in her throat as he nestled them together, pressing her back into the wood. Gah, the man’s eyes were far too heated for her taste. She couldn’t let him kiss her again or she’d totally forget that this wasn’t like old times and they’d gotten an annulment for a reason. “You’re thinking so loud I can hear your gears moving,” Charlie murmured and dipped his head to nuzzle at her ear. “I must be doing this wrong if you can still think.” “Thinking is a good thing.” Especially when he apparently knew he posed a hazard to her brain function. “How else am I supposed to figure out your next move?” “If you aren’t one hundred percent aware of what I plan to do next, I’m definitely doing this wrong.”
His mouth toyed with her, working its way across her jaw until his lips claimed hers in a searing kiss that drained her own name from her consciousness. So much for her principles. But there was something so elemental about kissing Charlie that she couldn’t pull away. It was heady to be the object of his affection and she was just needy enough to sigh over how enthusiastically he showed her that she was desirable. The kiss escalated quickly and she had no doubt where this little interlude was headed if she didn’t slam on the brakes. Oh, but it was hard. She did it though, slapping a flat hand to his chest and shoving. To his credit, he immediately st epped away without a word about how she’d been just as into that kiss as he’d been. For all of his kachow, he was a gentleman underneath or she’d never have married him. Either time. “So I guess we’re back to the thinking portion of our evening,” he muttered, running a hand through his shock of dark hair as if he couldn’t quite figure out what to do with the restless energy still pounding through his blood. Or maybe that was just her. She rubbed her palms together fast enough to generate some heat but it didn’t warm them up. “I was just, you know. Done,” she offered as casually as possible when her heart was still racing. He’d pick up on it soon if she didn’t change the subject. He seemed to have a second sense when it came to her inability to resist him, knocking down the feeble barriers she erected with ease. That was why she couldn’t let down her guard for an instant or forget about the end game. But then he shut his eyes as if he couldn’t bear to look at her a second longer, his chest rising and falling with long, uneven breaths. “Carolina, what are we doing here?” “Biding our time until I win the bet.” “That’s a lie and you know it. You can’t kiss me like that and still be stuck back on the bet.” The thread of frustration woven through his voice raised her hackles. “You say that like there’s an alternative.” “Don’t pretend to be that obtuse. The bet stopped being a factor a long time ago.” Said so earnestly that she searched his face for signs of guile because clearly there had to be something she was missing here. The bet was the whole reason they were standing here in her foyer having this conversation. Wasn’t it? “What, like you’re only in this for the marriage?” “What if I said yeah? That’s it exactly.” His laser sharp gaze latched onto hers, refusing to let her look away. “I’m not striking up wagers with other talk show hosts and blathering on about my feelings during their live broadcasts.” Her heart turned over and resettled in her chest, beating painfully in its new spot. Because it didn’t belong like that. She liked her heart the way it had been. Unaffected. How dare he turn everything upside down without any warning? And then lay it all out there like that, as if he just wanted to be in love and married. To her. Forever.
Alarm raced along the surface of her skin, raising goosebumps, generating heat. Both. Neither. She could hardly think. But one thing was abundantly clear. She hadn’t asked for any of this. “No one forced you to call in to my show,” she reminded him. “Stop.” He threw up a hand and shoved it in her direction and it was a testament to the heavy tension that it worked to shut her up. “Just don’t. Not anymore. Not this time.” “Don’t what?” she couldn’t help but ask, because really? He acted like she was doing something on purpose when all she was trying to do was stop this madness before it went too far. “Turn this into another contest of wills.” He sank to the floor, more collapse than anything that felt deliberate, vising his forehead between his fingers as if in physical pain. “I’m almost at my capacity for it. I just wanted to have one night where we didn’t act like us.” “I’ve always liked us.” Y ep. Too far. What was wrong with her, blurting out stuff that would give him the complete wrong impression? He peered up at her between his fingers, his gaze so ravaged that she scarcely knew what to do with the way it squeezed her chest. Everything sharpened as she struggled to simply breathe. “You have a funny way of showing it,” he muttered. “You know, first with the annulment and then stopping that kiss right when it was getting to the point where it felt like we were going to make it this time.” Make it? As in their relationship? No. This was about the bet. He was twisting things around until she couldn’t see he was coming up the rear flank with both barrels, ready to blow her apart. “If you’re trying to confuse me again, it’s working.” “How can this still be unclear to you? I’m in love with you.” She waited for the rest of the argument. The angle. The whatever. But he was just sitting there, almost... defeated. Did that mean she’d won? What had she won exactly? A bet that he couldn’t convince her to stay married? That was never going to happen. Like she’d told him. But all at once, she didn’t feel so much like a winner. Sinking to her own knees, she crawled to him, settling in next to him on the floor. Not touching, but close. “What are we doing here, Charlie?” “I don’t know anymore.” That scared her more than anything else he could have said. If he didn’t know, who did? Because it certainly wasn’t her. He’d veered off script so far she couldn’t even see the endgame from here. Struggling to get back on track, she offered, “I’m sorry I ruined our date.” “You really don’t get it, do you?” That’s when he glanced up at her, and what she saw in his gaze flipped everything inside. “Do you even know what it means to be in love? Is that what the problem is? I’ve been trying to convince you love exists and that it’s possible between us, exc ept I’m fighting more than our history, aren’t I?”
“I don’t know what you mean.” That was the lie. She knew exactly what he was talking about but this was neither the time nor the place to discuss it, not with the rising tide of panic choking off her voice. “Ply someone else with your misdirection,” he said succinctly. “I have a degree in evasion that says you’re not weaseling out of this conversation. It’s time to spell this out. What happened in that chapel in Vegas?” The question hung in the air as she gripped her knees so tight her knuckles went white. This conversation wasn’t about a bet, or rather it wasn’t solely about the genesis of their second marriage, not any longer. He wanted answers. He’d come into this in good faith because she’d agreed to give him a chance, and he deserved to know what he was up against. “I freaked.” All at once, her throat closed, and she swallowed. This was a really bad time for her emotions to make an appearance. “It was just too fast.” “You could have backed out way before the ceremony. There was the whole flight. The Uber to the hotel. Lots of time for cold feet,” he said. Not harshly, but the sentences raked over her nonetheless. “I know.” The closer he held that mirror, the less room she had to wiggle. The more her heart hurt over the irreversible actions of the past. And it wasn’t fair to give him more excuses. He was genuinely trying to understand. “I shouldn’t have gone through with it in the first place.” “Why did you?” Wasn’t that the million-dollar question. “I wanted to believe you were finally serious about me.” It was a mistake. She knew it the second it left her mouth and Charlie’s derisive laugh put a fine point on it. “Again with that word. I don’t think you know how to define serious any more than you know how to define love.” “Hey,” she shot back fiercely. “I’m trying to be honest here. You asked. I’m telling you. If you don’t want to hear the truth, then we’re done here.” He inclined his head in deference. “Sorry. I’m trying too. I’ve never been anything but serious about you. I asked you to marry me, after all.” “It just started to feel more and more like a lark,” she said with biting honesty because now that he’d opened up this wound, they’d examine it, whether he liked the diagnosis or not. “We’d only been dating for four months. Who springs a marriage proposal on someone that soon?” “Me,” he said flatly. “And it wasn’t on someone, it was you. The woman I had fallen for, hook, line and sinker. I couldn’t imagine my life without you. Still can’t.” The brief lift of his lips did something inexplicable to her insides, bursting open with heat and warmth that shouldn’t be there. Not when they were dissecting the events of eleven months ago with clinical precision.
“You should have moved on.” “To what? Another woman who doesn’t challenge me? Who doesn’t make the underside of my skin feel like it’s on fire? You seem to be operating under the impression that my feelings for you are going to go away. That hasn’t happened since the moment I handed you that cactus at the farmer’s market.” She shouldn’t be latching onto the pure emotion in his voice, tucking it away into the empty places that only he had ever been able to fill. But she was so tired of fighting both him and her own feelings. “No,” she said in a small voice. “Because you’re right about me. I don’t know how to let go. I don’t know how to trust you.” “Which is something we should have ironed out a long time ago.” Miserably, she nodded a bunch of times as if the motion would knock something loose inside that might make a difference. But the stark truth was still there, still burning her throat. She’d never given him a real chance. And yet, he’d come back for more of her brand of awesome relationship skills. What kind of man did that? One who claimed to be in love with her. And she’d rained all over that parade. It was a wonder he hadn’t blown back through the front door and slammed it. Twice. Dear heaven. Was he actually getting through to her? She could not let him discover that. Under any circumstances. “I’m sorry,” she said. It wasn’t enough of an apology, but it was heartfelt. “You’re not like anyone I’ve ever met before. You and your cactus sw ept me off my feet, and I never really got them back underneath me.” She nearly groaned. Way to ke ep things under wraps. “Same. That’s why I proposed,” he told her. “I figured, why wait, when I already have what I want?” “Me?” It just kind of popped out. Apparently she still needed reassurance. Probably she would every day for the rest of her life. Did he fully understand that’s what he’d signed up for? “Yeah, you.” There came that killer smile and it coaxed one of her own to her lips. “I guess that’s something we should have ironed out a long time ago.” “We could have if you hadn’t done the world’s fastest disappearing act. Which is saying something in a place like Vegas.” She made a face, not daring to believe the mood had lightened. But the weight on her shoulders wasn’t as heavy all at once. “I told you why I did that. And I apologized. Let’s just start from here.” His cryptic expression didn’t give her the slightest assurance that he was on board either way. Not that she had any clue whether she was inviting him to st ep onto a speeding train, a slow boat to China or a rocket to the moon. This was all uncharted waters with no map in sight. One thing was certain. He could spout poetry like a reincarnated Shakespeare all day long and throw down declarations of love better than Casanova, but she
could not afford to fall for him again. Not until she understood all the stakes. Maybe not even then. There was still a bet between them, and she hated being wrong more than she hated losing. The jury was still out on whether either one would come to pass. But the jury was pretty sure she could tell herself all day long that she wasn’t going to fall for Charlie but that didn’t change the fact that she’d never fallen out of love with him in the first place.