Hal Despite my promise to wake Izzy in the night, when I finally open my eyes the sun’s peeking above the horizon. I put out a hand but find the bed empty. Shit, did she leave in the night? I lay there for a moment, listening. The rain’s stopped, and down the corridor I can hear singing. Izzy’s always sung, and her music interest is wide and variable, anything from pop to blues to classical. Today she’s singing a hymn I remember from my childhood—“Morning has Broken”. Her voice is high and pure, and it sends a shiver down my spine. I lie there for a while listening, afraid to breathe in case I disturb the magic of the moment. She hasn’t left. The burr of a machine tells me she’s making coffee. She sounds happy. I let out a long breath and release the tension that’s been in my body for... I don’t know... months, if not years. Rosie tied me up in knots, but Izzy’s slowly unpicking them and smoothing out the ruffled strands. My mind drifts back to last night, and I recall images and sensations from our lovemaking. I still can’t believe she’s a virgin. Correction—was. I smirk to myself, surprised at the gleeful possessiveness I feel over planting that flag. But I can’t act as if all the hard work is over. Being someone’s first is easy. Being their last is a much more difficult task. I roll over and pick up my phone; it says 06:32. It’s Thursday, and we’re normally at the Ark by seven, but the surgery doesn’t open until eight thirty. Being later than usual will earn us some sniggers from the staff, but I don’t care about that if it means getting my hands on her. I rise and visit the bathroom, pull on a pair of track pants, and head out to the kitchen. A mug of steaming coffee is sitting on the worktop, and I pick it up and walk across the living room and out onto the deck. Izzy’s standing there nursing her mug, looking out at the view of the Pacific. She’s still wearing my T-shirt. I’m pretty sure she hasn’t got anything on underneath. She glances over her shoulder as I come out. “Morning,” she says softly. “Did I wake you?” “No, I’m normally awake around six. Someone wore me out and I sl ept in.” Her lips curve. I walk up to her and bend to kiss her, and to my delight she turns, brings her free arm around my neck, and presses against me while we exchange a long, sensual kiss. “Mmm.” I smooth a hand down her back to her butt, which is bare beneath the top. “I like this.” “And I like this.” She drops a hand to the erection that’s sprung to life and gives it a stroke through my track pants. “Going commando? You’re a wicked man.” “I don’t have any pj’s,” I tell her, pushing her hand away because I want to drink my coffee first, and if she carries on like that, I’ll be lifting her onto the table and doing her on the deck. She laughs and leans on the balustrade again, and I join her, our arms touching. This is nice. It’s a beautiful morning after that terrific storm, and although a line of seaweed marks the high tide last night, the sea’s calm now, an amazing cerulean in the early sunshine.
“I like being up early,” she says, sipping her coffee and watching someone running along the beach with a dog. It’s a Doberman, jogging neatly by the guy’s side. “Me too.” “Would you like to get dogs again one day?” she asks. I think about it. As a teen I had two boxers, Bubble and Squeak. Izzy adored them. But then I went to uni, and I spend so much time at the Ark it hasn’t made sense to have pets at home, especially as I’ve been in rented accommodation. “Eventually. I think a family’s not complete until it has dogs.” “Mmm, I agree.” Izzy had an Old English She epdog when she was young, a hairy, crazy thing called Molly. When she was thirteen, Izzy’s dad died of pancreatic cancer and, unfortunately, Izzy’s Mom, Jocelyn, went to pieces and turned to alcohol for comfort. One night, while drunk, she let Molly out, forgetting she’d put rat poison down in the garage and had left the door open, and the dog ate the lot and died the day after. Izzy told me about it one night when we were walking back to our rooms on campus at uni. She told me she understood her mother must have been in terrible pain, and that she’d forgiven her for what she’d done, but I’m not sure that was the truth. It was her mother’s fault that Izzy tipped the hot water over herself, and her fault the dog died. I’m convinced her relationship with her mother was the main reason she was borderline anorexic in her teens, as she felt so unable to deal with her mother’s alcoholism and the effect it had on her life. When she reached eighteen, Fitz told Izzy she mustn’t stay at home out of guilt, and he persuaded her to go to veterinary college. It was a tough decision for her because it meant leaving her mother alone, and because the family was so poor she worked every evening and most weekends to help pay her way. Izzy and Fitz had terrible trouble in the first year and had to return home several times to deal with various problems—Jocelyn forgetting to pay bills, causing a scene in public, injuring herself while drunk. Eventually they scraped together some money for her to go into rehab, and she managed to turn things around a little, getting herself a regular job and her own place. She eventually met a guy and now lives in Hamilton with him, and Izzy rarely sees her. It’s a huge weight off her shoulders, and she’s certainly been better since her mother’s been more settled. I want to talk to Izzy about the future. I’ve already mentioned marriage and children, so she must know I’m serious about her. It’s too early to go into it all, and I’m conscious that with Rosie everything was great in the beginning but it deteriorated once she moved in with me. I’m convinced it won’t be like that with Izzy, though. I know her too well. Inside and out. “What are you smiling at?” she says, bumping my shoulder. “Nothing.” It occurs to me there is one thing I have to get out of the way before we discuss what happens next. I’m worried about spoiling the moment, but equally she’s my best friend, and it’s going to affect us both. “There’s something I need to talk to you about.” “Oh?” Her light-brown eyes study me, gentle and kind. I take a de ep breath. “Noah called me in a few weeks ago. He’s been thinking about setting up another Ark.” Her eyebrows rise. “Where?” “Further south. Auckland’s well served for shelters, but he’s been doing some studies, and he reckons Hawke’s Bay would be a good place.” The area is on the east coast and contains the cities of Napier and Hastings.
I run my hand through my hair. “He’s asked me if I’d like to spearhead the project.” Izzy studies me. “It would be a great opportunity,” she says eventually. “And wonderful to have another Ark in the country.” I nod slowly. “The Ark in the bay can only get so big before it outgrows local demand. And the Kings have more than enough money to fund a new enterprise. I’ve talked to Dad about it, and he and Charlie and Matt are considering opening up another branch of We Three Kings down there.” The charity run by the Three Wise Men makes wishes come true for sick children. “What do you think?” “It would be amazing,” she says. I can’t deny I’m excited about the opportunity, but I tell her, “It would be a lot of hard work.” “Yeah. But you’re not even thirty yet, Hal, and you’re driven and ambitious. You’d make it a great success.” I watch the runner on the beach coming back with the Doberman. He throws a stick into the sea, and the dog jumps straight in to retrieve it. I’ve tried to point out all my faults to Noah, but he just smiles and tells me to stop being an ass, and that I’m perfect for the role. Leon’s more of a leader, but neither he nor Albie have the veterinary background, and Noah wants the Ark’s focus to be the animals. Still, I voice my doubts to Izzy. “I’m not a businessman; that’s not where my skills lie. I wouldn’t be in the surgery so much, and I wouldn’t be able to run the Animal Welfare Team.” “You’re an intelligent guy,” she says, “and you learn quickly. You’d pick it up. And you’ve run the unit here for five years. Maybe it’s time you did something different.” “I don’t know, Izz. I love it here in the bay.” “Hawke’s Bay’s stunning. You can’t let the view be a deciding factor.” “No... But I love the Ark. I’ve worked hard—with everyone else, obviously—to make it what it is. Am I ready to walk away from that?” “What’s more important?” she asks. “The buildings or the animals? You could do a lot of good out there.” “Yeah, I guess.” My gaze drifts off, over the ocean, as I think of how I could draft in some of the best young vets from the uni at Massey. But it would mean leaving everyone here behind. “I’m so torn in two,” I tell her. “My whole family’s here.” “You could fly back regularly. I’d...” She swallows. “I’d always be glad to see you.” It takes a second for that to register. My gaze snaps back to her. “Izzy... for Christ’s sake. I’m talking about you coming with me.” She looks startled. Holy shit, she really thought I’d leave her behind. “Jesus.” I take her coffee cup from her, put them both down, and pull her into my arms. “We’ve just gotten together, I wouldn’t leave you behind! I’m so sorry, I thought you’d get that. I told Noah even before we hooked up that if I were to go, I’d want you to go with me. You’re my best friend. I couldn’t go without you.” Emotion rolls over me, and I hug her tightly. Izzy slides her arms around my waist and buries her face in my neck. “I thought you were saying you wanted to leave.”
“God, no. I’m so sorry.” I rub her back. I can’t help but compare her reaction to my ex’s. Rosie would have flown off the handle, asked why I hadn’t told her before, demanded to know what effect it would have on her and what the fuck I thought I was doing going without her. But Izzy just said what she thought would be best for me. “I love you,” I tell her fiercely. “Being with you, making love with you... I know we shouldn’t rush things, but I want you to move in with me. I want to be with you all the time.” She moves back, and we study each other for a moment. “Would you come with me?” I ask her. “To Hawke’s Bay?” “I don’t know. I’d have to think about it.” “Think about leaving here? Or about coming with me?” “Both,” she says. Ouch, that stings. “You’re right,” she continues, “this relationship is so young. You should be thinking about whether you want to do this, whether it’s right for you. You need to put your career first, and so do I. We can’t afford to make such a big decision based on how we feel about each other, because that may change, but our careers will always be there.” If it were anyone else standing before me, I’d think they were having doubts about their feelings for me. But I know Izzy to the marrow. She thinks I’m going to change my mind about her. She thinks I’m going to be with her a few months and then want to move on, and she’s frightened about moving across the country and leaving behind her life in the bay only to end up losing everything. I cup her face and look into her eyes. “How can I make you believe me when I say how I feel about you?” “I’m not disputing your feelings right now, Hal. I’m just saying they may change.” It’s a clever argument because I have no way of proving I will feel this way in a month or a year’s time. I’ve been so arrogant. All the time I’ve been considering Noah’s proposition, I’ve pictured Izzy at my side. I didn’t even think she might not want to go with me. I put my arms around her again and hug her. I was eighty percent leaning toward doing it, but now I’m not so sure. How can I ignore my personal feelings and make a decision based purely on my career if it means losing Izz? “I’m sorry,” she whispers, “I know that’s not what you wanted to hear.” “It’s okay.” “I’m not saying no, Hal. But it’s a huge decision.” “I know. Noah’s given me until the end of the month, so we have time.” She moves back a little and looks up into my eyes. “Do you... want me to go?” “No. Do you want to go?” She gives a little shake of her head. Her eyes are filled with longing. I feel a fierce swell of desire for this gentle, passionate woman. “We’re adults,” I tell her. “We’re not sixteen-year-olds flouncing around and trying to blackmail each other emotionally. You’re right; we need to take time to think about it. But in the meantime, I want to be with you. I want to make love to you. I want you to move in here with me because I don’t think I can bear to spend another night without you.”
I’m determined to prove to her that we can work, and that my feelings for her aren’t going to go away. Whether we stay, or whether we go, my place is by her side. She might not get that yet, but I do. And I’m going to prove to her that she can’t live without me. “All right,” she says softly, and she lifts up and presses her lips to mine.