Sin "Surprised?" I thrust out my chest. I’ve done it. I’ve told her the one thing I had confessed to no one else. Not the Seven, not M. Definitely not my parents in the time that they’d taken me home and tried to understand what had happened to my mind. She stares at me, a furrow between her eyebrows. "I... don’t understand." I widen my stance. "It’s a coping mechanism." "So Max... isn’t... he’s not—" "Real." "Oh." "After I was rescued from the kidnappers, I spent a month at the hospital recuperating. When I was released, my parents struggled to cope with my changed behavior. Not that I had been the easiest child before," which was putting it mildly; I grimace, "but I became more withdrawn. I was pissed off with the world, with them, with myself for being in a situation where I’d had no control." "It wasn't your fault." Her tone is soft. Wasn't it? I drag my fingers through my hair. "My parents were busy trying to make ends meet, as it were. They didn't know how to deal with me. My mother tried, I suppose," A pulse throbs at my temple. "She tried to get me to see a therapist, but—" "You refused." "Yeah," I glower. "I can be a stubborn twat." "I hadn't noticed." Her lips curve. Say something more. Say what a freak I am. Off my nutter... Yeah, that would be a more accurate description. Why the fuck would she want to stay with me after everything I've told her? I bare my teeth, "You think I’m crazy, huh?" "No." She shakes her head. "Not more than usual." Turn around. Fly away, little Bird. The cage door is open. The world awaits you. Sail forth. Conquer. Find new friends... A lover. Another husband. My thighs spasm. My shoulder muscles bunch. If she glances at anyone else, takes someone else in my place... I’d kill the asshole... Fuck that, I won’t allow it. I can’t. I’d brought her here, thinking I’d coerce her to stay; bribe her with more money, a job that fulfills her dreams, a hint of what she’s missing. I’d hoped she’d feel the loss of what could have been between us. I’d been sure that she’d take one look at me, and what? Throw herself at me, ask me to take her back? Fuck. I roll my shoulders. That had been exactly my line of thinking. Then she’d walked in, and I’d known, it wouldn’t work. All of my arrogance had been stunted and forced to take a back seat. I had done the unthinkable. I’d ripped open the one thing that would unravel my entire persona, my existence, the face I show the world.
I’d exposed myself to her. I was bare. Nothing to hide. Almost. "You should leave now," I growl. "Okay." She turns, heads to the door. The fuck? She’s going? Sure, I'd told her to... But when had she ever obeyed me before? Without question. This time. The one time I’d wanted her to disobey me, fight me, hold her own, she’d... flummoxed me again. She is perfect. She is mine. And I’ve lost her again. I squeeze my eyes shut. The blood thuds at my temples. My ribcage tightens. I draw in a breath. My lungs burn. Images from the past overwhelm my mind. Darkness envelops me. Voices reach me in the damp musty space. Muffles, thuds, scrapes. I hear the moans of the boys in that enclosed room—six of them—I know them by their grunts, stifled by the rags in their mouths. The door opens, footst eps sound. Someone is coming. Nearer, nearer. No, please, not me. Not this time. I’ll do anything you want. Is there a God? I’ve never prayed before. If I knew how to... I could. I can’t. So all I can say is help me. Someone. Anyone. I try to swallow, but my throat is too raw. Attempt to breathe, but my lungs spasm. My face hurts. My arms are numb. Can’t feel my fingers. My toes. I am floating... floating... looking down on my hurt broken body. Myself. I am no more. Click. More. I need more. Click. Click. My fingers fumble with the clasp of my watch. Cold. Metallic. Click. Click. Click. The sound pierces through the noise in my head. Focus. Focus on it. The shape of the clasp. Rectangle. The indentation in the center. Like her lips. The crease. Pink. Soft. Beautiful. Click. Click. Click. Click. "Sinclair." Her voice. Soft and husky. Her breath catches. She does that when she comes. In my arms. On my dick. On my fingers. All over my tongue. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. "Sin." Her warm fingers encircle my wrist. Her scent fills my senses. Focus on that. On how she leans into me, her breasts thrust up and into my chest. The nipples erect. The pink areolae twitching, yearning for my mouth. My groin hardens. My dick lengthens. "Sin." She grips my crotch through my pants. Heat shoots up my spine, the darkness recedes, and I snap open my eyes. I am back in my office, in the present, with the only person in my life who matters. Her. "You don’t want to do this." I glare at her. "But I do." A smile curves those beautiful lips. "You don’t understand." "Your watch." She glances down.
I pull my fingers away from the steel clasp. She leans closer, "That's why you wear this worn out Casio, huh?" I set my jaw, "If you've figured it out this far, you don't need my help for the rest." "You play with its clasp as a means of grounding yourself, connecting yourself with the present, right?" I smirk. "Anyone tell you that you should have been a psychologist instead? I'd use your services. Hell, we'd make full use of your couch. I bet we’d wear it out in a week, tops." I angle my head, "What do you say?" "I say that you shouldn't change the topic." "Hmm." I thrust my pelvis forward and into her palm. She swallows. "Sin. Please." Her tone turns beseeching. It doesn't stop her from gripping the bulge that tents my pants. Good. I widen my stance. "Love it when you plead with me." "Can I speak what's on my mind?" "As long as you ke ep your hand on my dick, everything is fine." She scowls. "It's not though." "Oh?" "You have an imaginary dog for a companion, Sin, and you have been holding onto a watch from your boyhood days, as a means of connecting you to your sanity. You need to face what happened to you. You need help." "Not happening." I set my jaw. "You overcame your past, Sin. Look at you today, an incredibly handsome, gorgeous, self-made gazillionaire with a heart of gold hidden behind that asshole exterior." Heat flushes my neck. I've been complimented by many but this... from the woman who's mine... nothing tops this. I want to say something flippant—because a douche-canoe never changes his stripes, eh? I open my mouth, but there's something blocking my throat. A pressure builds at my temples. I peer into her eyes, and all I see is myself. The fuck? "What you’ve been through would have broken a lesser man." She rubs my dick through my pants. "Not you, Sinclair Sterling. You survived. You are here, standing in front of me, proud—" "And hard." She purses her lips, "And still an alphahole." "Who's ready for you." She withdraws her hand, but I am faster. I grab her fingers, press them into my aching hardness. "Need you, Bird." She swallows. I tighten my grip, thrust myself into our joined hands. "See what you do to me?" Her pupils dilate; her breathing grows shallow. She shuffles backward, putting more distance between us and my heart begins to thud. My throat closes; my guts churn, "Don’t leave me, Bird."
"That’s not fair." Her lips turn down. "You're playing the emo card." What me? Nah! Uh!... okay, m-a-y-b-e. I'm not beyond using sneaky ways to get her attention, and if it means I can bind her to me? Well then, all bets are off. I press down, use her hand to massage myself. "You mean this?" A groan rips up my chest. "See how I react to you?" Her fingers curve and my balls tighten. Sweat beads my forehead. "So fucking hot, Bird. Admit it, that no one else can make you come the way I do." "You know it’s true." I smirk. "It’s not only that." She bites on her lower lip, and of course, I feel the tug all the way to tip of my cock. Fuck! I lean in close enough for my breath to raise the hair on her forehead, "So, you don’t want to feel me hard and throbbing and pulsing inside of you, hmm?" She shivers. "You don’t want me?" "I didn’t say that." "Then?" I glare at her. "Enlighten me here, help me out, Bird." "It’s your trusting me enough to reveal how—" "Broken, I am?" "I was going to say resilient, but if you want to put yourself down." She raises her shoulders. "Be my guest." Her fingers squeeze and blood rushes to my groin. "Fuck." I groan. She slides her hands down, cups my balls. A snarl rumbles up my chest. Her green eyes gleam, "You undervalue yourself." I frown, then chuckle. "Good joke. Your sense of humor has improved." "You think your sharing your nightmares and how you managed to not let them overwhelm you is—" "—A sign of weakness." "Let me finish." She squeezes my balls. My cock thickens; blood rushes to my groin. I glare at her. She glares back. "Just because you’ve fooled the world into believing that you are an obnoxious asshole—" "I'm being myself, Babe." She twists my balls, and I growl. "The fuck, Summer?" "Let me complete my train of thought." I pull my hand out of my pocket, fix my fingers around her nape. "You dare tell me what to do?" "No." She shakes her head. "I dare to show you what you really are."
"Oh?" I tilt my head, yank her close enough for our lips to almost touch. Almost. "And what’s that?" "A man who needs a soft touch." "I don’t know, from where I am, I am quite hard—" She lets go of my balls only to grasp my cock once more. She massages it and all thoughts empty from my mind. This woman? Fuck! She knows exactly how to please me. I shove myself forward, thrusting into her grasp, fucking her hand. I pull my fingers off her palm, grab the desk for support. "That’s fucking hot. But I’d much prefer to fuck your mouth—" "Listen to me, this once, you prick." "Your prick." I allow a smirk to curl my lips, "And you have my attention." "What I have, is your manhood in the palm of my hand." She pumps me through my paints, a long hard swipe from base to tip. Goosebumps flare on my skin. "Jesus, woman, spit it out already." "It makes you human, okay? What you told me; it wouldn’t have been easy for anyone to admit. And for a full- of-himself asshole such as you, well, it must have taken hours of pr epping." "Days... Weeks... Since I met you, actually." She frowns. I firm my lips, nod toward her. "I mean, it means a lot to me... That you trusted me enough to share your secrets." I lower my eyebrows. I sense a but coming there... Nah! She wouldn’t dare, would she? "But it’s too little too late." My mouth falls open. I know I am gaping, but fuck that. "Don’t you dare do it, Bird. "What?"" She unzips my pants, and my dick swings free. She grabs my swollen shaft at the base, swipes up to the tip, and I huff. Tighten my hold on her nape. "What were you saying?" She peers up at me from under her thick eyelashes, massages me again. The blood rushes to my groin; my cock jumps. "Don’t you dare leave—" She squeezes me with enough pressure for my shaft to thicken. The pulse thuds at my temples, behind my eyeballs. My balls are so fucking hard that I am sure I am going to come right now. My head spins; my knees tremble. And fuck, this isn’t about the blow job. It's simply that the woman I love, is getting me off— Hold on. Love. What? No. I did not think that. I mean, I’d confessed to almost being in love... When had I crossed the line? Is that why I’d spilled all my secrets to her like she was my sounding board? Which she was... She is... Mine. I am hers. Hers. I stare at her flushed features. Take in the dilated pupils, the color on her cheeks. Her parted lips.
She, too, is aroused. Good. I force my shoulders to unlock. Widen my stance. "Bird." "Hmm?" She drags her fingers to the base of my very excited cock. "I love you."