Eliza My rooms always had some light. Moonlight filtered in through the tall windows or I caught the faint glow of light from the hallway lamp right outside my door. There was always something, but when my eyes flew open, it was completely dark. My heart lurched violently into my throat, and for a long, disorientating second, I had no idea where I was. I sat up fast, immediately regretting it when the remnants of my headache throbbed faintly behind my eyes. Thankfully not with the same vicious intensity as earlier, but the darkness combined with that lingering ache sent a pulse of panic straight through me. Did I sle ep through the entire day? It had to be that. This wasn’t the kind of dark that came from closed curtains or a storm rolling in. This was night-time dark, and the last thing I remembered, it had been morning. My feet hit the floor before I could stop to think about the consequences. A light wave of nausea passed through me as I stood. I swallowed it back, stumbling toward the sitting room just off my bedroom and bumping my hip against the edge of a chair along the way. “Hello?” I called weakly, my fingers finally finding the light switch beside the door leading into the sitting room. As soon as I flicked it, light flooded the space and I froze when I realized I wasn’t alone. My heart flung itself upside down, my pulse skyrocketing until recognition filtered in. Jesse was sitting in the armchair near the fir eplace, half-slumped with his head tilted forward and one arm hung loosely over the side of the chair. The fir eplace had burned down to a bed of glowing embers, casting a soft red glow across the room. Outside the windows, rain pounded steadily against the glass, a chill in the air that was a little more brisk than usual for late August. The light snapping on startled him awake a few seconds later, and instantly, his spine shot straight and he twisted in the chair. “Eliza?” I crossed my arms immediately. “What time is it?” His eyes drifted toward the clock on the mantel. “Late.” My stomach dropped. “Late? It can’t be late. I had a full day planned and I haven’t done a single thing.” He sat up even straighter, blinking a few more times before stretching his arms above his head and yawning. “Wow. I can’t believe I fell asle ep.” I stared at him. “You let me sle ep through the entire day?” He pushed himself to his feet, still looking half-asle ep as he reached up to scrub a palm along the side of his jaw.
“Technically, yes.” My panic escalated. “There were meetings, and the production team walkthrough and the west farm accounts, and the tour bookings, and—” “Eliza.” He said my name so calmly and firmly that I stopped. Then he proceeded to explain, in impressive detail, that every single item on my agenda had been accomplished, and then some. Apparently, Miriam had taken full advantage of his willingness to help with whatever needed to be done, and as a result, Jesse had spent the day assisting with production logistics, reviewing schedules, helping reorganize supply inventories, and somehow even participating in a full cleaning of the cellar. “Aaron helped with that too, if I’m being honest,” he said she epishly. “I’d still have been down there if she’d left me to my own devices.” My panic slowly drained into a completely stunned silence. “You did all of that?” “Well, Miriam and Aaron did most of it,” he said. “I mostly carried things and tried not to break anything expensive.” “I’m not just talking about the cellar,” I murmured. “You spent the whole day working? Here. At the castle?” He shrugged. “You needed the rest and I had nothing better to do. Are you feeling better?” Something about the way he said it so nonchalantly threatened to make me burst into tears. Honestly, I wasn’t sure anyone had ever done something quite like this for me. “My headache has mostly subsided,” I said quietly. “The nausea is gone now, so yes. I’m feeling much better. Thank you.” I paused for a beat, a little thrown off by all of this. “I can’t remember the last time I took an entire day off.” He huffed out a quiet laugh, raking his fingers through his tousled hair like that might put it in order. “Yeah. I know the feeling.” “You do?” “Mm-hm.” “What exactly do you do, Jesse?” Strangely, his eyes widened. “Oh, uh.” I tilted my head. “You work for your family’s company, right? Westwood and Sons.” “Yes. Sure. Of course.” “But what do you actually do there?” His expression changed ever so slightly, flickers of discomfort tightening his features, but then they smoothed again. Almost like he was struggling with a question that, to my mind, was relatively simple and straightforward.
“I help manage things,” he said finally. I frowned. “Manage what?” “Operations.” My eyes narrowed a little, suspicion setting in. “Operations? Why are you being so vague? It’s not a difficult question.” “I’m not being vague. It’s just hard to define my role. Corporate stuff. You know.” The way he danced around the question was almost impressive. Almost but not quite. Before I could push any more, however, he started toward the door. “Well, it’s late and I desperately need a shower after the cellar cleaning. I’m pretty sure I smell like ass.” I wrinkled my nose. “That sounds dreadful.” “It was.” As he neared the door, I opened my mouth without thinking it through. “You’re welcome to shower here.” He stopped moving instantly. “Here? In your suite?” A strange, tense moment stretched between us and I suddenly wondered why I’d said that, but then again, we were getting married. Soon. “Yes,” I said, finally deciding to commit. “I can ring down for some clothes for you. After everything you’ve done for me today, the least I can do is offer you the use of my bathroom.” Jesse studied me for a long second before he nodded, definite relief softening his features. “That would be great, actually. Now that I’ve realized how badly I need a shower, I can’t wait to rinse off.” I chuckled, r epeating his earlier words back to him before swe eping my hand out to the hall. “I know the feeling. Let me show you the way.” Without pausing to process the fact that he was about to be very much naked in my space, I led him through my rooms to the bathroom, pushing open the door and flicking on the light. “I’m sure you’ll find all you need in here. There are fresh towels on the rail.” He nodded, those blue eyes blazing into mine for just a moment before he blinked and spun around. His head shook as his broad back disappeared into the bathroom. I spun around too, needing to put some distance between us before I would be able to collect my thoughts. Goodness. An entire day spent in bed, arranged by my fiancé, and followed by him undressing in my rooms. It’s almost like I’m still asle ep. Instantly, my mind started supplying unhelpful scenarios of what kind of scene might’ve followed him showering and being naked in such close proximity to me if this had been a dream. My cheeks heated so much, I was sure they were glowing by the time I picked up
the phone to make the call I’d promised him I would. A short while later, there was a knock at my door and a cart was rolled in with a change of clothes for Jesse as well as cloche-covered food. I wasn’t surprised. Miriam did nothing halfway, and having been alerted to the fact I’d called, she had most certainly made sure I ate something before I went back to bed. However, she’d clearly sent enough for Jesse as well, but I would need to bring him his clothes. I picked up the neat bundle and strode back to the bathroom, my pulse racing as I knocked on the door. A door he apparently hadn’t closed all the way. As I knocked, it creaked open and steam drifted into the hallway. I took a tentative st ep inside, intending on setting the clothing down near the door, but I caught sight of him before I could. He literally emerged from the mist, fresh from the shower with his wet hair slicked back and his totally naked body wrapped in nothing more than a towel. All I saw were abs, clearly defined muscles, and the lines of his hips before I yelped, immediately turning to flee. Oh, good Lord. I should’ve just set the clothes down outside. How is he so— Graceful as I was, in my haste to get out before he noticed me, I ran straight into the doorframe with a loud, painful crunch. “Ow!” Before I could even begin to process the impact, Jesse grabbed my shoulders and spun me back toward him, real concern lighting his eyes as they sw ept across my face. “What the hell? Are you okay? Let me see.” My heart jumpstarted again, tripping over itself before it started racing once more. Jesse’s body was so warm and he was so focused on me. So entirely too close for comfort after all those fantasies I’d had only minutes ago. His hand slid underneath my chin, his fingers tilting it up before I could protest. His thumb brushed gently against my upper lip, testing the spot where I’d collided with the wood. Pain shot through me from the contact and I winced. The corners of his eyes crinkled with sudden amusement as he watched me. “Are you always this clumsy?” “I am not clumsy,” I said indignantly, but to be fair, it might’ve been more convincing if I hadn’t just sprinted directly into a doorframe. I couldn’t even argue that it had simply appeared. Those thoughts evaporated, however, as I realized that my back was still pressed against the doorframe and Jesse hadn’t moved away. Our sudden proximity was noticeable.
Certainly noticeable. His skin was warm from the shower, faint steam still hanging in the air behind him. His damp hair curled slightly at the ends, and the towel wrapped low around his hips did absolutely nothing to help make the situation less distracting. His thumb moved again, dragging slowly over my lower lip, and I sucked in an in voluntary breath, doing everything in my power to remain calm. Cool. In control. But it wasn’t easy. There was absolutely nothing cool about this. It was all hot. Literally and metaphorically. Which really says something about the sad state of my love life, doesn’t it? The only heat I experienced was usually in my books, but before I could start wondering if that might change now that I was getting married, the low timbre of his voice snapped me out of it. “You’re going to be okay,” he murmured. I nodded, but I was a little breathless as I responded. “Yes. Yes, I’m fine.” Something in his gaze changed then, like he’d suddenly realized how close we were standing too. I couldn’t put my finger on exactly what it was, but he st epped back a pace and cleared his throat, running a hand through his damp hair like he needed to give it something to do. “I should probably say something,” he said, his own voice suddenly a little huskier than usual. “While we’re here, I mean.” “Oh?” His gaze flicked briefly to the floor before returning to mine. “I kissed you last night.” Don’t remind me of that right now. Good heavens. Have a heart. “Yes. You did. I mean, we did.” “I should’ve asked first.” He managed to look a tiny bit she epish even though his torso, abs chest, and shoulders were still on full display. And there was nothing remotely she epish about any of that, or what he looked like mostly naked. “It was just that, given the circumstances...” He trailed off, but I knew what he meant. My brain might be half-fried right about now, but we’d been in a dining room full of aristocrats chanting for us to kiss like we were performing monkeys. Those were the circumstances he was referring to, and given them, well, I hadn’t had a different answer either. I swallowed hard, forcing myself to look into his eyes instead of anywhere else. “It’s fine. I understand.”
Watching me carefully, his gaze moved from one of my eyes to the other, a slight furrow appearing on his brow. “Are you sure?” “Yes.” I folded my arms loosely over my chest, trying to appear far more composed than I felt. “We’re getting married anyway and I’m supposed to have the Roderick heir. Things like this are bound to happen.” The words sounded oddly clinical once they were out there, but for a brief moment, Jesse’s expression turned serious. Like, unexpectedly, really serious. His eyes darkened slightly, his jaw hardening itself practically all the way into an emergency dentist appointment. “Right,” he murmured finally. “Of course.” The room suddenly felt too small, too warm, and too full of strange, unfamiliar tension. I nodded, taking a st ep back—not into the doorframe this time—and didn’t stop until I was in the hallway to the sitting room. “Well, you should finish getting dressed.” “Probably.” “I’ll leave you to it. Miriam sent up some food for us.” Finally breaking eye contact, I spun around and watched out for walls when I fled this time. A few minutes later, he strode into the living room fully clothed and entirely composed. Like that scene in the bathroom hadn’t affected him at all. The same could certainly not be said for me, and to make matters worse, whoever had chosen his clothes had opted for low-riding tracksuit pants and a jumper, none of which did me any favors. Again. Jesse looked different dressed so casually, however, more like I imagined he would on a lazy day at home, and for a moment, I wondered if we might have some of those together. Naturally, my errant thoughts made the tension between us even thicker than before. We just looked at each other, not quite staring but not quite comfortable either. Finally, I cleared my throat. The cart Miriam had sent was still waiting beside the sofa and I motioned toward it. “If you’re hungry.” He glanced at it, then back at me, a knot forming at the back of his jaw and disappearing a few times before he finally shook his head. “That’s okay. I should get back to my room.” Part of me wanted to say he should stay, which was an extremely alarming realization, but he was right. I suppose. “Yes,” I said lightly once I’d gotten over the slight stab of disappointment. “That’s probably wise.” Another awkwardly tense beat later, I st epped toward the door and gave him directions to the guest wing of the castle, knowing he’d wind up wandering all night otherwise. “You’ll want to go down the main corridor, take the second staircase to the right, and then straight
through the gallery with the blue tapestries.” Beside me, he nodded. “Got it.” He lingered like he might say something else, but in the end, he simply offered me a small, almost tense smile. “Goodnight, Eliza.” “Goodnight, Jesse.” With that, I opened the door and he strode out, leaving me watching him walk down the hallway until he disappeared around the corner. For what felt like the first time since I’d woken up, I exhaled a full, proper breath of air and drew in another. Bloody hell. What on earth is going on with me? Mentally, I was already running through the list of what I had to do. Eat. Take a shower myself. Brush my teeth at least four times. My mouth tastes like hell. Change into a nightdress. Go to sle ep. Yet, I couldn’t force my body to do any of those things. Instead, I headed toward the fir eplace and simply started pacing. I was used to being in control. Being in charge of my schedule, my responsibilities, and my life, but Jesse had st epped up today when he didn’t have to. Without asking or hesitating, he’d taken over my entire agenda, working alongside Miriam to give me a break when I’d needed one most. This had officially been my first hangover and I was not keen to r epeat the experience. However, it also hadn’t been the first time he’d looked at me and somehow knew exactly what I needed without me having to say it out loud. There had been that night in the bar back in Chicago and last night in my father’s study. Those were the incidents that stood out, but there had been dozens more. Moments when he’d spoken up just as I was at a loss. Times when he’d k ept silent, simply encouraging me to say my piece. It dawned on me then that he was taking care of me in a way no one else ever had, and I was letting him. Moreover, I was enjoying it. It made me feel warm, safe, and comforted. Am I supposed to have feelings for my fiancé in this situation? I honestly had no idea what to think, but I knew for an absolute fact that Jesse was treating me exactly the way I’d always dreamed a man would. He was also intelligent and witty, and he certainly wasn’t a pain to look at. But more than anything else, the way that my heart and body reacted around him said that perhaps I already had feelings for him. Regardless of whether it was proper or acc eptable under the circumstances or not.