# Chapter 13: Fexcitement and the Final Step Into the Unknown
Hello, lovely listeners, it's me again! How are we all doing today? I hope you're ready for another emotional, heart-tugging, butterflies-in-your-stomach chapter, because this one takes us right to the very edge of a life-changing moment. Today I will continue to walk with you and review Chapter 13 of "Married at first swipe free digital audiobook" — a chapter that brings us to the morning of Hannah's wedding, a morning that is, as you might imagine, a glorious collision of joy, nerves, doubt, and hope. So grab your tea, make yourself comfy, and let's step into this unforgettable day together.
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There was something about that early morning light, pale and soft, filtering through the curtains of Jess and Tom's spare room, that made everything feel strangely unreal. Hannah lay in the quiet of the guest bed, her heart thumping a restless rhythm against her ribs. She felt as though someone had turned up the volume of every emotion inside her all at once — excitement, terror, giddiness, nausea — and she was trying, rather unsuccessfully, to make sense of the cacophony.
As Jess perched on the edge of the bed, warm and familiar, holding out a steaming cup of tea like a peace offering, Hannah voiced the question that had been chasing itself around her mind since she'd woken up.
"What's the word when you feel a mixture of excitement and fear?" she asked, slightly sheepishly. "Fexcitement?"
Jess's eyes sparkled with tenderness, as if she'd been waiting for precisely this moment. "I think the word, or rather words, is bride-to-be on the morning of her wedding," she said gently, her voice soft as a blanket. "Don't worry, everyone feels like this before they get married. I can remember being almost mute with terror the whole time I was getting ready, but as soon as I saw Tom at the front of the church, I relaxed, and this incredible calmness came over me and I knew it was all going to be okay."
Hannah forced a smile, but her mind was churning. "Hmm, well, you had the bonus of knowing the man standing waiting for you, remember. I know about ten things about my Toby-to-be and that's it." And then, as the memory surfaced, a genuine laugh escaped her. "But actually, I do totally remember you being stressy that morning. You were trying to take your engagement ring off to put it on your other hand and it wouldn't budge, and then you got more and more worked up so you got all hot and funny and then it *definitely* wouldn't move. We spent about half an hour dunking your hand in iced water, but it was a slab of butter that finally did the trick if I remember rightly!"
Jess huffed with mock indignation, though a grin was already tugging at her mouth. "All right, no need to remind me, it's not like I've ever forgotten about it! Anyway, shove up and let me in this bed before I do a Lily and fall in a heap on the floor. And don't steal all the duvet."
"You're so demanding. I hope Tom likes being ordered around in bed!" Hannah teased.
"Han! We're not here to talk about me or Tom, it's *your* wedding day. Other than the 'fexcitement', do you think you're ready?"
The teasing faded and the question hung there in the quiet room, delicate as a soap bubble. Hannah took a slow breath. "I'm not sure I'll ever be properly ready to marry someone I've never met. But I guess?" She paused, her thoughts drifting to a letter, a story, a heartbreak she had read only days before. "I didn't quite know how to feel when I read Toby's last letter. What a horrible thing to happen. Imagine starting the day thinking you have everything and ending it with nothing. But all power to him for picking himself up and managing to build a life afterwards." Her throat tightened as she voiced the deeper fear underneath it all. "I'm just worried there's even more pressure on us to get this right. After everything he's already been through, I couldn't bear for him to get hurt because of me."
She turned to Jess then, a pleading vulnerability softening her gaze. "You're the one who's met him in real life — is this going to be okay, Jess?"
Jess reached over and grabbed her free hand, squeezing it with the full warmth of their friendship. "I think it is, yes. Firstly, I truly believe Toby has all the qualities you are looking for in a husband. Remember when we talked about all those things that are important to you — that he was kind, chivalrous, funny, interesting, intelligent and up for adventures? Well, when you've been reading his letters, how has he come across?" She let the question sink in before continuing. "If you ask me, he's already ticked all of those boxes. And while I can't promise you're going to want to tear his clothes off the minute you set eyes on him, I think he is your type."
Hannah allowed herself to exhale, a small measure of relief loosening the knots in her chest. "Okay, I trust you, Jess." She took a sip of her tea and shook herself a little, like someone trying to wake from a daze. "Bring on the fireworks!" And then, with the expression of a child who knows exactly what she's doing but tries it anyway, "But maybe you could just quickly show me a picture of Toby to put my mind at rest? I'm going to see him for real in a few hours so it doesn't matter if you let me stare at a picture for ten seconds, does it?"
"Hannah!" Jess cried, laughing. "You're like one of the twins on Christmas Eve: 'Mummy, can I just have a look at my present, I won't open it or anything, but I *need* to see what shape it is!' No, you cannot just stare at a photo of Toby for ten seconds, or in fact any seconds." She was grinning now, but her tone carried the firm warmth of a well-loved rule. "Now, come on, finish your tea, you'll need to start getting ready soon. But first I'll make us all eggy bread for breakfast as a special pre-wedding treat. The twins have never been so excited about a wedding in their lives. And you need to make sure you eat something before the ceremony — we don't want you collapsing before you've even walked down the aisle."
"Thanks, Mum." Hannah smiled as she set down the cup. But then, underneath the surface, a familiar ripple of unease surfaced. "Although do you think my actual mum will make an appearance today? I keep veering between thinking she won't want to miss all the drama and remembering what she said when we went over for lunch."
Jess's reply was measured, kind. "But you've explained to her that we've turned down quite a lot of the freebies we could have had, haven't you? Then she'll have come round, I'm sure, especially with a bit of help from G-ma and your dad." She reached out and gently stroked Hannah's hair, the gesture maternal in the truest sense.
"But what if she hasn't and decides she can't countenance coming?" Hannah's voice dropped to a murmur. "Don't forget, she'll also have to see Dad and Charmaine and Seraphina all together as one happy family, which is a tough ask for her at the best of times. She might decide she can't face the whole thing and not turn up."
"I really believe she will come," Jess said with conviction. "And she'll have G-ma by her side, plus Scott, Julia and Leo to show off to people so hopefully John and Charmaine aren't going to worry her too much. And it sounds as if this whole thing has helped bring her and John a bit closer again, which can only be a good thing after all that bitterness!" She squeezed Hannah's hand once more. "But if she doesn't come, there's nothing you can do. Joan knows her own mind and we aren't responsible for her decisions. She's a grown-up just like you are, Han."
"I know, and you're right, but it's just hard." Hannah sighed, pressing her palm against her forehead. "God, why is my life never simple!"
"Because you'd get bored and probably have a sulk if it was!" Jess laughed, lightening the moment. From somewhere downstairs, the unmistakable sound of bickering children rose up through the floorboards. "Right, I can hear the sound of hungry children baiting each other, which signals it's time we got out of bed before we have a full-scale fight on our hands!"
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Three hours later, the house hummed with the manic energy of a wedding morning. Bellies were full of eggy bread, faces were washed (more or less), and outfits were mostly on. Hannah's dad had arrived with Charmaine and Seraphina, a vision of coordinated calm, and the children had been corralled for the obligatory photographs before being set loose to play some kind of camping game beneath a duvet under the kitchen table.
A peaceful sight, until you noticed the chaos beneath: four small feet and a collection of giggles.
"Well, at least we got a couple of shots of them before they completely ruined their outfits," Jess said brightly, eyeing the scene with maternal resignation. "Although Seraphina always manages to seem clean and tidy no matter what she's been doing, whereas my two look like something the cat brought in most of the time. You'll have to let me into your secret, Charmaine."
Charmaine shrugged, a breezy smile on her lips. "She's just that type of child. She doesn't like getting too mucky and will take herself off to wash her hands when she needs to. She's pretty self-sufficient like that."
"Lucky you! Please can you get her to teach Lily and Sam how to do that? Seriously, I don't know how they do it, but they always seem to look like they've been digging in mud even when they've been no further than the sofa!" Jess shook her head with an amused sigh, then turned practical. "Right, Hannah, it's time you put your dress on and I'll start rounding up the troops. John, you're going to drop us and Charmaine at the venue, pick up G-ma and then come back for Hannah and Seraphina, aren't you?"
"That's what I've been told, so that's what I'll do." Hannah's dad smiled, looking every inch the handsome father-of-the-bride in his new suit. "It's so nice seeing everyone in their posh frocks. I can't wait to see you in your dress, Hannah." Emotion thickened his voice, his eyes misting.
"You're not looking too bad yourself, Dad." Hannah grinned at him lovingly. "That suit is so smart."
"Can you believe he was going to wear his old suit he only digs out for funerals?" Charmaine rolled her eyes, though it was clearly an affectionate gesture, and reached out to pat his collar down. "But thankfully I insisted we went on a shopping trip into town to buy a new one."
John looked down at her, adoration shining clearly in his eyes. "That's why I need you by my side, to show me the error of my ways."
Hannah felt the sting of tears behind her eyes as she watched her dad bask in Charmaine's smile. There was something poignant about seeing the man he had become — so far from the worn-out, snappy, ageing man of her teen years. It was a joy to see him so transformed by love, even as a whisper of old loyalty tugged at her heart, a silent apology to her mother for enjoying this new happiness. She shook herself out of her complicated reverie, grounding herself in the present: today was about gathering everyone she loved around her, about hope, about stepping into a new chapter of her life. Or at least, she hoped so.
"Seraphina, do you want to come upstairs and help me get dressed?" she asked her half-sister.
The little girl considered the question with utmost seriousness. "Does your dress have a zip at the back? Because I always need Mummy to help me with my zip, too."
"It has a zip *and* buttons, so I definitely need your help," Hannah laughed. "Let me just say goodbye to everyone and then you can get to work."
An angelic face scrunched up in negotiation. "You are going to see them all again in an hour or something, so do you really need to say goodbye? I could just start helping you now."
Charmaine gently chided: "Seraphina, don't be rude to your sister. It's her wedding day and she'll have a lot of hellos and goodbyes to say so she might as well get some practice in now." She gave Hannah a soft hug. "See you soon, sweetheart."
"Ah, I can't believe the next time I see you you'll be ready to walk down the aisle!" Jess squealed, folding Hannah into her arms in one of those embraces that holds the whole history of a friendship in it.
"You better believe it — you're my fairy godmother after all! God, don't start me off or I'll have make-up all down my face before we've even left the house."
"You will not," Jess retorted with mock severity. "That mascara promises to actually repel water and it cost as much as a small house so it better not be lying."
The final goodbyes tumbled out like dominoes — kisses, well-wishes, the rustle of smart clothes, the warm commotion of love in motion. And then, at last, the front door clicked shut and fell into place behind them, and the house was suddenly, surprisingly silent.
Hannah turned to Seraphina with a wide grin. "Now that rabble have gone, shall we put on some music and get dressed?"
The little girl's face lit up like a Christmas tree. "YES! Although please can you only play 'Firework' because that's the only dancing song I like?"
A smile, genuine and bright, spread across Hannah's face. "Excellent choice, it's a deal."
But somewhere between their tenth rousing chorus of Katy Perry sung into a hairbrush, the sparkle began to fizzle. Hannah's head was starting to throb, and the defiant joy of her song had given way to the sharp-edged reality of what was about to happen.
"Well, I've definitely felt my colours burst, but now it's time to play something else," she declared, reaching for the music. "Let's slow it down a bit while you do me up."
As the mellow notes of Lewis Capaldi filled the room, she guided Seraphina's small fingers to the zip at the back of her dress. "If you just pull the zip gently and then you can do the buttons, that's right."
"Hannah?"
"Yes, sweetie?"
A pause, sweet and innocent, carried the weight of a question far beyond the little girl's years. "Why are you marrying Toby if you've never even met him?"
The words landed like a stone thrown into a still lake. Hannah's reflection rippled. "Because I think I'm going to like him," she answered, her voice a little less steady than she'd intended. Through the window, she could see the clock — her dad would be back very soon to take them to the venue.
"But how do you know what he's like if you haven't talked to him?"
"Well, we've written each other letters, so that's like talking to each other." A reasonable explanation, even if she wasn't entirely sure she bought it herself.
"So what does he look like?"
"I don't know yet. But I'm really excited to find out!" Hannah painted her tone with forced jollity. "I bet you are too, aren't you?"
"Yeee-s." The little girl's voice wavered, and she pulled herself around to face Hannah with wide, worried eyes. "But I'm a bit scared that he could be really ugly and not a very nice person. What if he doesn't like me? Or what if he doesn't like you?"
The raw honesty in her little half-sister's voice cracked something open inside Hannah. Her maternal instincts surged to the surface. "How could he not like you, sweetheart, when you're such an angel!" she cried, sinking down to Seraphina's eye level and circling her arms around the child's tiny waist. "And I have it on *very* good authority that he is one of the nicest men you could ever meet, which is even more important than what he looks like."
She hoped she sounded more confident than she felt, because with her stomach now churning and her nerves escalating, she no longer knew what she truly believed. She rose, smiling with all the conviction she could summon. "I trust Jess to have chosen the very best person for me to marry and I just know that you are going to love Toby and he is going to love you." She heard the sound of a car pulling up, the familiar slam of a door. "Now, I think I just heard the front door. Do you want to go and let Dad in?"
Seraphina scampered off down the stairs, seemingly satisfied with Hannah's answer — even if Hannah herself wasn't.
Alone in the quiet of Jess's spare room, Hannah sank onto the bed, careful not to crease the lacy folds of her dress. And there, in the hush of the house, she finally released a breath it felt like she'd been holding all morning.
She steadied herself with both hands on the mattress and took a large gulp of air, letting her mind drift to the people who would surround her today. Her dad, loyal and steady, though she sensed he remained quietly worried. Her mum, who had made her opinion agonizingly clear and whose absence tonight would leave a hole shaped exactly like her. And G-ma — wise, radiant G-ma — whose voice from the previous day's phone call rose unbidden in her memory.
"I'm so happy I've lived long enough to see you get married and find your happiness. Although, of course, you are doing it as only you can, dear Hannah!" came the sweet, teasing laugh.
And then, just before they'd rung off, her grandmother had turned serious, her voice carrying the weight of a lifetime lived and loved: "Don't forget that love at first sight is completely possible. When I met your grandfather at that village fete when he was home on leave from the army, I knew immediately he was the one. He wasn't just the most handsome man in the room, it was his loving spirit that shone through. And he proved to be the kindest, most caring of men, and I never doubted his love for me for as long as he lived. That is what I wish for you, my darling."
Hannah had been almost too emotional to reply. Her grandparents had known nothing of how their future would unfold in the years after the war, through trials and tribulations they could never have anticipated, and yet they had made it through — together, hand in hand, every single day. There was a sacred assurance in that thought, a promise that perhaps such a future was possible for her and Toby too.
From downstairs, she could hear her father's voice and Seraphina's joyful chatter. She gathered her belongings, tucked her pumps into her overnight bag, slipped on her shoes, took one last, steadying breath.
It was time.
The next time she saw the people she loved, she would be standing on the threshold of her future. And at the end of a long aisle, waiting with an unknown face and a known heart, would be her Toby-to-be.
Whatever that meant. Whoever he was.
Whatever he would become to her.
The door to the spare room closed softly behind her, and the adventure began.
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Well, my dear listeners, what a chapter! This one gripped me by the heartstrings from beginning to end. I have to admit, I was utterly swept away by the tenderness and anxiety of Hannah's wedding morning. The way she carries so much in her heart — her fear of hurting a man she already cares for, her pain over her mother's judgment, her love for the patchwork family forming around her, and that delicate thread of hope connecting her to a stranger in beautiful letters — it feels so real, so achingly honest. And that moment with little Seraphina, who voices every fear Hannah feels but dare not say aloud, actually gave me goosebumps. G-ma's story about falling in love with her grandfather was the perfect sliver of wisdom at just the right moment. I loved every minute of this chapter, even as the suspense made me restless. For such an emotionally rich and beautifully rendered pre-wedding chapter, I'd give it a glowing ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Rating: 4.9 / 5 Stars.
And oh, my friends, the next chapter promises fireworks! With Hannah and Seraphina heading to the venue, Toby waiting somewhere behind a door, and a walk down the aisle that will change everything, I predict we are about to witness their very first meeting face-to-face — the moment when letters become a living, breathing man standing before her. Will the chemistry from the page translate to the person? And will Hannah's mother, Joan, put aside her skepticism and walk in at the last moment? With G-ma's optimism shining as a light of hope, I believe Chapter 14 will deliver the heart-in-throat moment of truth, where excitement and fear finally collide into something unexplainable — the moment Hannah sets eyes on her husband-to-be.
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