# Chapter 45: The Prick of the Year and the Fear of Wanting More
Hello, beautiful book lovers! It’s me again, your friendly narrator, back with another stop on the *Searching For Someday* journey. I hope you’re doing well and have your favorite drink nearby, because Chapter 45 takes us straight into the messy, guilt-ridden heart of Slade Montgomery—and trust me, this one stings.
The chapter opens with Slade staring at his computer, surrounded by endless notes for his next client, but his mind is nowhere near work. Sunday was a complete blur, broken only by moments of painful clarity where he fought the urge to show up at Kate Seymour’s door and beg for forgiveness. He has convinced himself he won the “Prick of the Year” award, and honestly? He’s not wrong. After trying to seduce Kate in every possible way, after finally getting her into bed and spending hours in what could only be described as orgasmic ecstasy, he treated her like some kind of freak because she was a virgin. He feels like he belongs in a bad eighties movie—except he isn’t even in high school anymore.
Shame beats through him. The truth taunts him and keeps him from calling her. Because one night with Kate Seymour would never be enough. He craves more. He wants hours in her company, to learn all her secrets, to trace every inch of her delectable body. He wants to hang out with Robert and watch movies. He wants to cook for her, bring her coffee, and read the paper in bed beside her. The images stream in a long, terrifying vision that scares the living hell out of him.
It’s more than sex, but he can’t handle it. Knowing he was the one who finally claimed her virginity makes him want to roar with satisfaction like the primate he fights not to be. Slade also realizes it strengthened the bond between them like an invisible, unbreakable string. He will always be her first, and in some way, special. Too bad he jacked up that good memory for her.
He pushes away from the desk with a groan and wishes for that minibar. Instead, he grabs a chilled bottle of water and wonders what his next move should be. He doubts she’d want to match him with anyone else, and honestly, he has no desire to go out on any dates when he wants only one woman. A woman he should stay away from since he can’t offer her what she wants, needs, and deserves.
And that’s where Chapter 45 leaves us—Slade trapped between his own shame and his growing, terrifying need for Kate.
## Reader's Impressions & Star Rating
This chapter is short but emotionally brutal in the best way. I loved getting inside Slade’s head and seeing him finally admit—at least to himself—that Kate is not just another conquest. The writing captures that raw, uncomfortable moment when a character realizes they’ve hurt someone they care about, and they have no idea how to fix it. Slade’s self-loathing is painful, but it’s also a sign of growth. He’s not just sorry he got caught; he’s sorry he caused Kate pain. The invisible string imagery is beautiful and heartbreaking, especially because he knows he may have ruined his chance. My only complaint? I wanted more Kate. Her absence is felt, but it also makes Slade’s longing more powerful. This chapter is a sharp, honest look at fear of intimacy and the cost of careless actions.
**Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 4.7 / 5 Stars**
## Next Chapter Prediction
I predict Slade won’t be able to stay away for long. His guilt and longing will push him toward Kate, but she won’t make it easy for him. We might see him try to apologize, only for Kate to shut him down or demand more than empty words. I also suspect Robert or the matchmaking business will force them into another awkward encounter, raising the stakes. Slade will have to decide whether he’s brave enough to pursue something real—or whether he’ll keep running from the one woman who could change everything.
To listen free the next reviews chatpers, please access website novelsaudio.com and search keyword: Searching For Someday free digital audiobook or click the link in the description of this video or if you want to listen or read full the Searching For Someday free digital audiobook please access website novelsaudio.com