He turned to face me between two huge racks of Tommy Hilfiger sweaters, his jacket folded over both hands. This was it. This was my chance. I had to tell him the truth. I had to tell him how I felt about Jake. He’d just given me the perfect opening. “Ten times?” I said with a gulp. “Come on.” Chicken. Sorry-ass chicken. “Okay, ten is a stretch, but still. In the Gap that guy behind the counter looked just like him, and in the food court? That whole story about how he ate five Egg Mc Muf fins one morning during detention?” Crap. W as it really that bad? “Um, that adds up to three,” I joked lamely . “You like him, don’ t you?” David said. Okay. It was now or never. I took a de ep breath and held it for a moment. This was going to suck. Hard. “David, I’m really sorry—” “I knew it!” He turned away from me and started speed walking for the aisle. “I am such an idiot. The guy asked you to dance right in the middle of me asking you out. If that’ s not a sign, what is?” “David. Come on. W ait up!” I said, hustling after him as best I could with my bulky coat over my arm and my bag slung over my shoulder . “Can we just talk about this?” We burst out into the aisle, and a woman wielding a perfume bottle squeaked as she sidest epped out of our way. David stopped in front of a Calvin Klein fragrance display and whirled on me. I’d never seen him angry before, and it was not a good look for him. His face was all blotchy , his nostrils flared, his eyes wet. My heart collapsed in on itself. It was my fault he looked like that. All my fault. “What’s to talk about? My girlfriend likes some other guy,” he said, looking me dead in the eye. “So I guess she’ s not my girlfriend anymore.” Ouch. That hurt everywhere. David turned on his heel and stormed away . “David. W ait!” I wasn’t sure why I was calling after him. What I expected to say. I just didn’t want him to leave like that. I didn’t want him to leave hating me so much that his entire walk was dif ferent. And just like that, my first relationship ended. With all the Macy’s fragrance-spritzing ladies as an audience. I supposed I should have been relieved. I’d known for weeks this was going to happen, and now it was
finally over. But I’d hurt David. Just like Annie had predicted I would. And he was definitely one of the top four people I never wanted to see hurt.
february
*od , hate 9 alentine’ s Day . Whose idea was this stu Sid holiday anyway? $r e they dead or can , still kill them? Whatever . , t’ s one day . Says the girl who has the Eoyfriend. Well don’ t worry . , sent you a flower . 8 gh The flowers , for got a Eout the stu Sid flowers. , only ever get the white ones. , t’ s so humiliating. Well the flower sale is the cheer leaders’ thing. 0 ay Ee you can M ust kill them +uh. That might make me feel Eetter . $t least you’r e not a le Ser like $lly 5 yan. 1 ow that Dorkus Drake dum Sed her , Eet she gets nothing. Oh sad. %ut that would make me feel Eetter .
Valentine’ s Day. The moment Quinn bounced into my homeroom wearing a fake cotton diaper over her Seven For All Mankind jeans, carrying a foam bow and arrow and a quiver full of carnations, I knew I should have stayed in bed. It was an annual cheerleading fund-raiser , selling flowers for V-Day. White meant friendship. Pink meant secret admirer . Red, true love. The order forms had been handed out the week before. I’d torn mine up into exactly forty-eight pieces before tossing it into the garbage. I wasn’t with David, who refused to return my texts, my e-mails, and my calls and was now sitting with his bandmates at lunch every day. I wasn’t with Jake, who I hadn’t spoken to since our detention stint had ended almost a month ago because he’d never approached me in public, which made me feel like I shouldn’ t approach him—which, after all the fun we’d had together , seriously sucked. And my mom was going away to the Adirondacks with Gray Nathanson for the weekend. Valentine’ s Day could bite me. “Flower delivery! Someone loves you!” Quinn announced, bouncing down the aisle distributing flowers. When she stopped next to my desk, I almost dead-legged her . “Hi, Ally! Somebody loves you!” My heart stopped as she reached into her quiver and extracte d a huge bundle of pink carnations tied with a red ribbon. Her grin was wide as she placed them in front of me. Probably she felt happy that I wasn’t as big of a loser as she’d thought. I, however , was stunned speechless. Then she took out one lone pink and dropped that in front of me too. “Who’re they from?” Annie asked as Quinn moved on. I flipped over the white slip on the bouquet. It had been decorat ed by the cheerleaders with glittering heart stickers, but the message was simple and written in careful letters. HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY