knight. I closed my eyes as he took a right and drove farther up the hill. I
guessed he really had been lying about the coffee. We were not headed
downtown. I felt a skitter of excitement and apprehension. Where, exactly,
was he taking me?
“What was going on back there?” he asked.
“That? That was a nightmare,” I told him. I looked at his profile. His
perfect, handsom e profile, and suddenly it hit me. I was in a car alone with
Jake Graydon. Who cared where he was taking me? It was his birthday , and
he’d gotten a car, and he’d come to me. Not one of his random hook-ups,
not one of his friends, but me. I was actually talking to Jake again. Saying
words instead of sending texts. And it felt normal. Comfortable.
Exhilarating, but not at all awkward. And suddenly I wanted to tell him
everything. “My mom’s trying to make me bond with Quinn. I think my
mom and Gray are getting serious.”
“Wow. That’s . . . that sucks. Right?”
“Yeah. I guess. I don’ t know.”
He made a left, and suddenly I realized where we were going. The
country club. More specifically , the lake at the country club. I hadn’t been
there in forever, but I knew no one went there during the winter unless they
were going to park in the dirt lot by the boathouse and make out.
Suddenly I couldn’ t breathe. I pressed my sweaty palms into the thighs of
my jeans, feeling light headed. We were both silent until Jake pulled into
the deserted lot facing the wide-open lake. He put the car in park, but didn’t
turn off the engine. He kind of slumped back against the seat and looked out
at the water .
“So,” I said. “Happy birthday .”
“Thanks,” he r eplied. “Sorry about just coming over like that. I didn’t
think—”
“That you’d be interrupting the pseudofamily dinner from hell?” I asked.
“Yeah.” He took a de ep breath and ran his hands up and down the
steering wheel. He glanced at me tentatively . “Hey, have you heard from
your dad at all?”
Another car was driving up the road, its headlights flashing in Jake’s side
mirror. It turned and parked at the other end of the lot, the couple inside
probably wanting their privacy .
“Nope,” I said, my heart heavy. “It’s like he doesn’t even remember we
exist. He didn’t even call on my mom’s birthday or anything. I have no idea
where he is.” I let out a short laugh. “How bizarre is that? I don’t know
where my father is.” There was a long moment of silence. Jake chewed a bit
on his bottom lip. There was something weirdly tense about him.
Jake said, “Do you think he’d come back if he knew? I mean, if he knew
your mom and Mr . Nathanson were . . .”
My heart squeezed. “I don’t know. Maybe. I have all these daydreams
about it. Like I’ll walk out of school one day and he’ll be standing there and
he’ll hug me and ask me where she is. And then I’ll tell him all about her
and Gray and we’ll run into the school together and catch them, like,
kissing in her office or somethin g and my dad’ll freak out and punch Gray
in the face and tell him to stay away from his wife. It’ s all very dramatic.”
Jake laughed and I blushed.
“I know. It’s stupid.” I shook my head, looking down at my hands. I’d
never told anyone about that daydream before.
“It’s not. I get it.”
“Anyway . That’ll never happen. I guess I just have to get used to the idea
of my mom and Gray . Together .”
Tears filled my eyes and I stopped. I felt like an idiot. “I’m sorry. You
don’t want to hear this crap,” I said. “It’ s your birthday .”
“No. It’ s fine,” he r eplied.
I took a de ep breath, gazing out at the placid surface of the water. Across
the lake, the window wall on the ballroom of the country club glowed with
yellow light. A thousand memories of late-night parties with my parents, of
sack races by the lake on summer Club Day, of swimming races in the pool
with my friends, suddenly flooded my mind. My heart was full of all the
things that I’d had to give up. Things that, clearly, I was never going to
have again.
“I really never thought I’d be back here.”
Suddenly Jake’s fingers closed over mine. My heart completely stopped.
He turned his hand so that it was under mine, our palms touchin g, and laced
our fingers together . Every nerve ending in my body was in that hand.
“Ally.”
He said my name almost like a plea. I looked into his eyes.
“I know ,” I said simply .
And then we kissed.
And it was just as amazing a V I’d always imagined.
Sunday at noon I rang the doorbell at Shannen’ s house. It was the only time
I could be sure that both she and her dad would be awake and in semidecent
moods. I knew Shannen was going to be irritated about last night, but I
figured a ride in the new car and breakfast at Jump would win her over . And
I also kind of wanted to talk to her about this whole thing with Ally’s dad.
After last night, I felt even guiltier about ke eping the secret. Was Shannen
going to tell Ally? Did she still have that video? If someone was going to
tell her, it had to be done right. And I had a feeling that if Shannen did it, it
wouldn’ t be done right. I’d been avoiding talking to her about it up until
now, not wanting to deal, but if Ally and I were going to be . . . whatever
we were going to be, then not dealing wasn’t an option. A decision had to
be made. Shannen and I were going to figure this out. Today. But as I
waited for someone to answer, I started to get nervous. What if her dad was
already drunk? Or had a serious hangover? I hated dealing with him when
he was pissed. I was deciding between ringing again and getting back into
my Je ep when the door whipped open. Shannen stood there in sweats,
scowling at me.
“Hey,” I said with a smile, lifting my keys. “W anna go for a ride?”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “Oh. So now the birthday boy
suddenly decides I’m worthy?”
My arms fell to my sides. “Come on. I told you I had stuff to do last
night.”
She let out a short laugh. “Stuf f. Good one.”
What was that supposed to mean? “Look, it’s totally nice out. We can go
to Jump and get those bialys you like.”
She narrowed her eyes at me and put her hand on the door. “I already
ate.” Then she started to slam the door .
I reached out and stopped it, my hand flat on the surface. “W ait.”
“What?” she snapped.
“I don’t know why you’re so mad—”