We’re on the second floor of a motel because Daddo says we can’t stay at Grandma’s right now. Can’t stay at our house or hers. Grandma and Lois Anthony are here too. Daddo called Mommy again but she’s not answering. I’m trying to be okay about that. I ke ep telling myself Mommy is scared too. She saw Other Mommy. But no matter how hard I try, I ke ep getting mad instead. Tomorrow, Lois says. Everybody says they can be at my place tomorrow. We’ll convene special for this. Okay, Daddo says. Thank you. And please thank them. He sounds out of breath. He ke eps looking to me, then to the door, then to his phone. Lois sits on one of the two queen beds. The bedspreads are yellow and tucked tight under the mattresses. Her green sweater looks like tree leaves next to the yellow sun. Lois makes me feel hope. But then, every time I feel that way, the feeling goes away. These wood-paneled motels remind me of when Bruce and I got married, Grandma says. Grandpa Bruce, I say. Grandma is sitting at the small table by the window. The hotel sign flashes outside and makes her face blue and pink. You remember him, she says. That’s nice. He’s hard to forget. Kinda wedged himself into the heads of every person he ever shook hands with. We stayed in a room just like this on our honeymoon. Up in the UP. My God, were we young. Beautiful world up there, Lois says. It is, Grandma says. I’ve always not so secretly wished we’d raised Ursula up there. Might’ve grounded her a little more. Chaps isn’t Hollywood, Daddo says. He winks at me sadly and I smile. It’s the first thing like a joke he’s made in a long time. What time? Daddo asks Lois. They said afternoon. Daddo looks at his phone. I tried for earlier, Lois says. No, no, Daddo says. Anything is good. Grandma stands up. Can we talk a moment alone? she asks Lois. You and me? Lois looks surprised but like she wants to talk too. Of course, she says.
Grandma and Lois go out onto the balcony. Daddo gets up and crouches in front of the TV. Then he stands up again without turning it on. He walks around the room with his hands on his hips. He checks his phone. Daddo? I ask. Yeah. Are there things people can’t figure out? Problems that can’t be solved? He doesn’t ask me what I mean. I think most things are worked out, he says. But, yes. Over the course of human history, there are mysteries. Okay. I don’t want you to worry, Bela. Seriously. Because I’m worried, and if you’re worried too then we’re just going to go in circles. Look at it this way... He sits in the chair Grandma was just sitting in. The lights outside make him blue and pink. We’re fine right now, aren’t we? Are we fine? Well, we can do anything we like, can’t we? We can’t go home, I say. Well, I mean... But he doesn’t finish and I feel bad for saying what I said. The door opens and Grandma comes in alone. She means well, she says. And that’s something, I suppose. Did she leave? Daddo asks. Yes. She went home. Said she’ll get the house ready for us for tomorrow. Grandma doesn’t sit down when she asks me, Do you know if Other Mommy has hurt anybody before? I don’t like this question. I think of Other Mommy opening her mouth. I think of the sound of her voice. Bela? she asks again. No, I don’t know. Okay. Has she threatened to hurt anybody? You? Your parents? Ruth, Daddo says. You’re scaring the hell— All questions that need to be asked, Grandma says. She’s waiting for me to answer. No, I say. She’s never said something like, if you don’t let her in, she’s going to hurt someone? I think of Other Mommy sliding on her belly across my bedroom floor. I think of her eyes on the side of her face under my bed. I think of her floating out of the closet.
No, I say. I don’t know. You don’t know? Is it possible? Ruth, Daddo says. Why are you asking this? Because if we’re trying to invite her into someone else’s home, I’d like to know what kind of guest she is. Is Lois scared? I ask. No, Grandma says. But she said it so fast. I know she’s pretending. No, she says again. Lois is a very brave person. She goes to the TV but doesn’t turn it on just like Daddo didn’t turn it on. They both look like they don’t know what to do. Daddo checks his phone. I’m going to have some words with your wife, Grandma says to Daddo. Yeah, well... Yeah, well nothing, Grandma says. She saw Other Mommy, I remind them. Then they both go quiet. Like what I said is making them think. Then Grandma says, She saw her one time and she can barely ke ep the twine around her sanity. And here Bela said she may have seen her a hundred times. Grandma looks at me. Like she wants me to understand how serious this is, and like she wants me to know she understands what I’ve gone through too. But have I gone through something? Am I going through it now? I know, I say. She smiles. Sadly. Just like when Daddo winked. Big day tomorrow, Grandma says. You two sle
Ep I’ll take first watch. Jesus, Daddo says. Listen to us. We sound like exactly what we are, Grandma says. Which is very good. I think that’s the first st ep toward solving this. But I think of what Daddo said earlier. That some things aren’t solved. Some things are always mysteries. I’m not tired, I say. Daddo lies down on one of the beds. Grandma looks like she might tell me to lie down anyway. But she doesn’t. Then come stand watch, she says. Let’s face this thing with some balls. Think of it as a dress rehearsal. The flashing sign outside makes her blue and pink.
We’re practicing tonight facing this thing tomorrow.