Mommy and Daddo had so many glasses they made the bottle empty and then asked Evelyn for another one. She got them one. Grandma k ept saying “They need it” and Evelyn k ept saying “I can see that.” We all danced in the living room. Evelyn clapped for me and was excited that I like to dance. I helped her put on different records. She taught me how to use the record player and I even put one on without her asking me to. But they quickly changed it because they said Joni Mitchell is really good but not the right music for a party. We had a party. Daddo turned the music up so loud you could barely hear the rain against the windows. He looked funny, dancing around the big room with his face unshaven like it is. And Mommy was sweating and she looked happy. Grandma’s face got red and she said that always happens when she drinks. I could tell Evelyn was glad to have us. Her and Grandma sat on the couch while Mommy and Daddo and me k ept dancing. Mommy and Daddo started dancing like me and then we were all dancing the same and Evelyn and Grandma were talking while the three of us acted funny. Daddo was really drunk. I know that word of course. He taught it to me. I was happy to see him that way. I wanted that time in the big room to last forever. I wanted to dance with Mommy and Daddo forever. I wasn’t thinking about home or closets or hearts. Then Daddo got too drunk, I think. You know who you move like? Daddo asked Mommy. Ginger Rogers? Mommy said. Tonight you move like Other Mommy. Mommy’s eyes got wide like she might get mad but then she laughed really hard and then Daddo went to her and held her hand and he laughed and she laughed and they laughed so hard they had their heads on each other’s shoulders. Grandma said they were going to “pay for it” tomorrow, but Evelyn said it’s the kind of money we’re supposed to spend while we’re still alive. I’d offer her a drink right now, Daddo said to Mommy. Who? Mommy asked. But she knew what he was going to say. Other Mommy. Other Mother! Russ! No, I mean it! If she came into the room right now, I’d say, Hey, sit down, relax. Stop haunting our kid. They really laughed at this one. It sounded almost like crying. What kind of drink would you make her? Mommy asked. All right, you two, Grandma said. She was looking at me.
That’s easy, Daddo said. I’d get her a glass of Other Bourbon. And we’d all get Other Drunk. Then they laughed so hard, Mommy fell on her side on the couch. Then Daddo said: Hey, I’m Other Daddo! And Mommy looked over to me like maybe they should stop. But the music k ept playing. And Daddo said: My God, it feels good to be brave again. Grandma and Evelyn left the living room and I watched them vanish up the hall. Ursula, Daddo said. Ursula, who am I? Daddo bent backwards over the couch so his head was upside down. I turned away. I looked out the window at the rain. More music, Bela, Mommy said. I put on a new record. Then Mommy got up and turned the volume up really loud. They danced and I sat on the couch and watched them. It’s a good life, Daddo said. Of course it is. I watched them hugging. They started dancing slow. I wanted them to stay that way forever. I wanted the song to last forever and for a second it felt like it was going to. But it didn’t. And the record came to an end. And the big room got quiet again exc ept for Mommy and Daddo breathing hard for all their dancing. And now, now they’re asle ep on the beds in the yellow bedroom. The music is off. There’s no more music. Grandma went to sle ep in Evelyn’s room. Before we all came upstairs, I heard Grandma and Evelyn talking in the kitchen because Mommy and Daddo were at the butler pantry trying to open a bottle of something else. I believe you, Ruth, Evelyn said. But just because you’re open to something doesn’t mean you immediately acc ept it in full. The mind doesn’t work that way. I didn’t want to tell you, Grandma said. Because I didn’t want you to think we’d bring trouble here. You need to let them handle this, Evelyn said. Whatever this is... this is theirs. This isn’t marital trouble, Grandma said. But isn’t there some of that? Isn’t there some of that too? I think they knew I was listening because they stopped talking regular and then whispered and I went back to where Mommy and Daddo were by the pantry but they weren’t there anymore. I went to the living room but they weren’t there either.
I ran back to the kitchen and ran into Daddo when he turned the corner and he said, Bela, come on. You’re supposed to stay with us. Mommy and Daddo looked at each other like they do when they worry about me, but then Daddo said, Tonight is a good night, dammit. I think he was saying it to himself. Might be time for bed, Grandma said. No to that! Daddo said. But we did go to bed. Evelyn turned the record player off and Mommy and Daddo had a hard time getting up the st eps and they were talking funny and the st eps creaked as we went. Mommy nearly fell into one of the beds. Bela, she said. Come lie down with me. Her eyes were closed already and Daddo went face first onto the other bed on top of the blankets and started snoring right away. Come on, Mommy said. Bela... come... on... She was asle ep fast and then I got into bed next to her with my clothes on too. Grandma and Evelyn came to the door soon after and they said they’d be up the hall if I needed anything, but also to wake Mommy or Daddo if it was really important. Grandma watched me a second before leaving. Like she wasn’t sure if she should leave us alone. This house is so big. And it feels even bigger right now. Because I have to pee. Really bad. I’m in bed next to Mommy. They’re both asle
Ep Itry to wake Mommy, but she’s not answering me. She’s just breathing heavy and sle eping really de
Ep I think she’s dreaming. I get off the bed and shake Daddo’s head and he mumbles something but he doesn’t wake up. I’m standing between the two beds. I’m looking at the door to this room and I’m thinking I’m going to have to go out into the hall on my own. Maybe there’s something in this room I can pee in, I say. I look around the room for a can or something like how Daddo’s friend Mark says he pees in a bucket when he goes camping or how like Kelvin told me he once had to go so bad he peed in a shoe. I wish Kelvin were here. He would walk me to the bathroom. He would wait outside the bathroom and talk to me while I was peeing. Even if he was looking at his phone he would still tell me I was okay and the hall was clear and no one was out there. The closet, I say. I try to imitate Kelvin’s voice when I talk. Like he’s here, taking care of me while Mommy and Daddo drink at a party.
I go to the closet and I peek inside but it’s really dark in there. It’s okay, I say like Kelvin would. Open it. Check for something to pee in, Bela. I think of the time Daddo said, What’s more alive than being afraid? I open the closet door and then the inside is all lit up because the lamps are on by the beds. There’s no bucket or bowl. There’s nothing at all. I think about peeing on the closet floor. Would Evelyn get mad? Go use the bathroom, I say in Kelvin’s voice. Be brave, I think. I cross the room. I’m standing between the two beds again. I’m looking to the door again. Go on, I say like Kelvin. Then I go to the door and I st ep out into the dark hall and I say, Grandma Ruth? But my voice doesn’t sound like Kelvin’s to me anymore. It sounds like me. I have to pee, Grandma, I say. Which room is she in? I open our door a little more so more light comes out into the hall, but I still can’t see the other doors very well. I have to pee, guys, I say again. I walk out and I can see a little better now. I see one door, two doors, then three doors, then four. The fourth one is smaller than the other ones and I think it’s the bathroom. I think of Kelvin and Mommy and Daddo and Grandma Ruth. I think that Evelyn lives in this house all the time. I run up the hall and the floor creaks under my feet and I open the door and I think, It’s a closet! I hurry up and find the light switch on the wall and I turn it on and it’s not a closet. It’s the bathroom. I think of Kelvin telling me I did a good job. I st ep in and close the door. Evelyn? I ask. I think that’s her behind the shower curtain. It looks like Evelyn is sitting in the bathtub behind the shower curtain. Evelyn? I say again. I’m sorry. I had to pee. She’s not moving. She’s just sitting there.
I’m far from the yellow room now. Evelyn? I go to the shower curtain and I look through the plastic and I see her looking back at me and I pull the curtain aside. There’s nobody in the bathtub. The wall is painted black where I thought I saw Evelyn sitting. There’s no water. No Evelyn. I have to pee so bad. I lift the seat and I pull down my pants and I have to try hard to get up onto the seat because it’s higher than the one at home, higher than the potty in my bedroom bathroom at home. But I do it. And Kelvin would tell me good job. And Daddo would tell me good job. And Mommy would tell me I sat on someone else’s lap. O, I’m sorry, I say. Because it feels like I sat on someone else’s lap. But I’m already peeing. And I look down and I see other legs beneath my legs. But I’m already peeing. And there’s dark hair on the legs. No... I move too fast and I fall to the bathroom floor and I turn back and see Other Mommy sitting against the bathroom wall and Other Mommy has no face. Her face is in her hands. Bela? A voice from the hall. Other Mommy stands up slowly and she looks so big and the bathroom door opens. Bela? It’s Evelyn at the bathroom door and I see her face change as she starts to yell. I hear her scream. O my God! Evelyn yells. O MY GOD! Other Mommy brings the face in her hands closer to me and then other hands are grabbing me and I know it’s Grandma and I’m being pulled from the bathroom and Grandma and Evelyn are yelling and Evelyn is so scared, she doesn’t look like the same person who welcomed us into her home. LEAVE MY HOUSE ALL OF YOU RIGHT NOW!
Grandma pulls me into the hall and I won’t look back to the bathroom because I hear Other Mommy st epping out into the hall and I think of her legs beneath mine and how she felt wet like a fish and I think of the dead fish at the grocery store behind glass and how they make rows like rows of long legs. Bela, Grandma says. She sounds so scared. Bela, don’t look. She pulls me and it hurts and I can’t stop feeling other legs beneath my own. Evelyn screams again and I know Other Mommy is in the hall with her now and Grandma kicks open the door to the yellow room wider and she wakes Mommy up by yelling and Mommy and Daddo wake up and they look confused and their eyes are red and then Mommy looks to the bedroom door and her eyes get so big and I know Other Mommy has followed us to the room. Ursula! Daddo yells. Ursula look out! I see Other Mommy duck to enter the room and she spreads her arms wide and all of her rises up to the ceiling and bunches there like a flat balloon, all of her, none of it not her. Daddo and Mommy are moving so fast and Evelyn is screaming at us to leave and to “take it with you! TAKE IT WITH YOU!” and Grandma is pulling me again and then we’re running under Other Mommy and out the bedroom door and into the dark hall and to the stairs and I almost fall and Daddo picks me up and carries me down and everybody’s breathing so hard and Evelyn’s mind is different now I think and the house is so dark and I look up to see Evelyn coming down the stairs too, her eyes so wide, she’s so mad and so scared, and Daddo carries me to the foyer and I see the sun is up a little bit outside and I realize I woke up and had to pee and that I sl ept a little and I think that’s good, I think Kelvin would say that’s good. Come on! Daddo yells back to Mommy and Grandma. Other Mommy growls from the top of the st eps and then we’re running out the door, we’re running outside and everybody is yelling and everybody is scared and Evelyn’s mind is different now, I know it is, I know it is, I know. Come on! Daddo yells. He carries me down the front st eps and I realize my pants are still down and I peed on myself and Grandma is telling Evelyn to come with us and Mommy is shaking and opening the car door and she’s getting behind the wheel and Evelyn is saying she’s not leaving her house, she’s not leaving her own house. This is MY house, she yells, this is my house you brought this to! Bela! Mommy yells. Bela, are you okay? Daddo lowers me into the backseat and he gets in too and he shuts the door and Grandma is still telling Evelyn to come but Evelyn is only screaming on the front st eps of her big house, her huge house that creaks all at once, she’s only screaming. Mom! Mommy yells, rolling down the window. Get in the car now! Daddo is talking so fast like he doesn’t know how to talk anymore. Grandma gets in the front next to Mommy. Home, Mommy says. We’re going home. Daddo is breathing so hard and he’s holding me in his arms in the backseat.
Mommy pulls the car out of the driveway fast and we’re all thrown to the side and I see Evelyn still on her porch, still yelling, still screaming at us to leave. I didn’t even notice it was raining. And I peed myself. And I still feel other legs beneath my own. Mommy drives so fast and I think about the pee on my legs and Daddo is breathing so hard and Grandma is talking about Evelyn. She’s worried about her friend, her friend whose mind is different now. We can’t leave her with that thing! Grandma says. We can’t leave her with that thing in her house! But Mommy isn’t going to turn around. And whenever anyone talks, they yell. We’re not leaving it with her, Mom, Mommy says. For fuck’s sake! Don’t you get it? It’s going wherever we go. It’s going wherever we go! Home, Daddo says. Ursula, you’re right. Home. We tried. We tried. It’s still mostly dark and it’s raining and Mommy is driving too fast. Slow down, Grandma says. Ursula, slow down! But Mommy doesn’t slow down. Ursula, Grandma says. We still have a child with us. Slow down! Daddo is mumbling to himself. Mommy looks at me in the rearview mirror. She slows down too fast. But at least she slowed down. It was in its hands, Grandma says. I worry that Grandma Ruth’s mind is different now too. Daddo and Grandma saw Other Mommy tonight. It was in its God-forsaken hands... The road ends and we have to stop at a light, but Mommy just goes through it because there’s no other cars and because we need to get home because there’s nowhere else for us to go. We tried. Holding its face like a towel, Grandma says. Daddo holds me tight and mumbles. Mommy drives. We tried. Our house is haunted and we tried to leave it. We tried. But it’s us. It’s me. We tried. We tried to leave the haunted house.
But we’re haunted. It’s us. We tried.