She fell on her head, Mommy says. On her freakin’ head! Scared me to death. Scared Carly and Deb. It looked so
bad. Jesus, Russ, Deb was white. Blanched.
Daddo looks at me. We’re all sitting around the kitchen table. They’re talking about doctors.
How you doing? Daddo asks me.
I’m okay, I say.
But I don’t feel okay when Daddo asks a question like that. I feel a bunch of things at once.
So I cry.
Daddo comes over and scoops me up so I can sit on his lap.
It’s okay, he says. You had a playground accident. Happens all the time.
She fell hard, Mommy says.
She hasn’t stopped sounding worried since I fell.
Daddo looks me in the eyes and says:
One time I was walking the parallel bars and your uncle Klay pushed my feet out from under me. I landed on my
ribs. Broke one. Could barely breathe. Your grandma was so scared. Just like Mommy was today. But I was fine.
And you look good. You’ll be fine too.
We don’t know that, Mommy says.
Then let’s take her to the doctor, Daddo says.
He looks to me.
Wanna go see Dr. Smith, Bela?
I hear creaking upstairs. As Mommy and Daddo get me ready to leave. As they take my hands and walk me to the
front door.
I look up.
And I think, What if I say yes?
Will she stop?
Will she?
If I say yes?
Will she stop getting closer?
Come on, Bela, Daddo says. Let’s go listen to your head and your heart.