The restaurant was dark and tony, its well-dressed patrons rendered beautiful by the light of the
chandelier suspended over the sunken bar, twinkling like a spray of stars across the sky. Emmett paused
just past the hostess podium and looked around. For a Wednesday in late May, the place was packed. He
spotted his date reading a menu at a table for two, crammed into the middle of a row against the wall.
Aaron looked up as Emmett approached, grinning affectionately. His text had been a welcome surprise. It
was great seeing you at the museum last month. Been thinking about you. Would love to hook up soon
for a proper catch-up. You free next week?
Emmett had considered pushing the meeting off. Now that he’d received his first dose of Obexity, he
hoped it was just a matter of time before he started losing weight, but Lizette had threatened to take a pair
of scissors to his Pokémon cards if he didn’t go.
“You made it.” Aaron stood to greet Emmett, then hesitated. They settled on a handshake— but the good
kind, the best kind, the lingering, two-handed, smiling-into-each- other’s-eyes kind. Still Emmett refused
to get his hopes up. Only in bad rom- coms did men like Aaron fall for people like him, and even in that
context, he struggled to suspend his disbelief.
He’d always hated those stories. They were too easy, too emotionally one- dimensional. “Oh nooo, you
could never love me because I’m too fat and gross! Wahhh!” “Hey, baby, don’t talk about yourself that
way. I don’t care if you’re as big as a house. To me, you’re the most beautiful thing in the world.”
Smooch, smooch,
smooch. Worse than dumb, Emmett found such stories insulting; they denied his lived reality, presenting
a view of the world so untainted by bias and hate they may as well be shelved in the fantasy section.
He sucked in his gut and squeezed in to take his seat against the wall, embarrassed that he had to push the
table out a couple of inches. Aaron kindly pretended not to notice. “How’ve you been?”
“Good. I’m glad we could do this.” “Me too.” “How are things at the museum?” “Busy, really busy.
We’re getting ready to launch a new teen docent program for the summer.” “Amazing.” “It’s great. The
kids get some work experience, and we get to exploit their free labor.”
“Child labor. Even better.” Aaron laughed, making Emmett blush. “No, but that’s so cool. Man, I wish
I...” Emmett trailed off, reluctant to tank the mood with his career woes so early in the evening.
A waitress came by for their drink orders. Aaron ordered a craft beer and Emmett a cocktail he couldn’t
afford, gin and apricot and whatever the fuck orgeat was. “So what’ve you been up to lately?” Aaron said
once the waitress left, casting an eye over the menu.
Emmett faltered. Even if he were allowed to discuss the clinical trial, Aaron was the last person he’d
want to know he was on it. “Just work. You know. And I volunteer a few days a week. With an
organization called Future Makers.”
“I know Future Makers. They’re our partner at the museum.” “Right, of course.” Breezing over his failed
interview, Emmett talked a while about his tutoring experience, how classroom teaching, it turned out,
just wasn’t the right fit.
“I get it,” Aaron said. “Honestly nothing sounds worse than being stuck in a classroom full of asshole
teenagers all day.”
Emmett smiled, almost teary with appreciation after a couple of strong cocktails. The conversation took a
turn toward the reminiscent—their grad school professors, former classmates and what they were up to
now, the perfect strangeness of that time of their lives.
Finally the waitress returned with their entrées. “I’ve got the cheeseburger,” she said, setting it in front of
Emmett. “Oop, that’s here,” Aaron said. She rerouted the burger to Aaron and gave Emmett the chicken
salad, his ears pink as he thanked her.
They ate, Emmett measuring every bite and the speed at which he ate it, careful not to clear his plate too
fast. “So, I have to confess something,” Aaron said through a mouthful of burger.
“Oh yeah?” “I didn’t invite you here just to reconnect, although it’s been great catching up. There’s a
position opening up in my d epartment. My education manager’s having a baby, and she’s leaving to be a
full-time mom. Fucking straight women, am I right?”
Eww, Emmett thought, but pushed it aside. “An education manager?” “Overseeing our secondary
programs. Field trips, school visits. The teen docent program for sure.” Goose bumps tingled up
Emmett’s arms. “Wow, that’s...” Perfect. He couldn’t bring himself to say it, lest the universe detect his
hope and conspire to snatch it away.
“I didn’t want to mention it at first, just in case...” Aaron’s meaning was clear: just in case Emmett had
no chance. “But given your experience with Future Makers, it sounds like you could be a really good fit.”
“You think?” “You’d still have to go through the interview process, and it’ll be competitive. It won’t be
just my decision.” “Of course.” Emmett forced down a bite of salad, struggling to ke ep his eyes off the
half-eaten burger lying abandoned on Aaron’s plate. “Can I ask—?”
“Fifty-four K. I know it’s not much—”
“More than I make now.” Emmett instantly regretted saying it, but Aaron looked pleased. “Great. I’ll let
you know when the posting goes up. Probably won’t be for a month or so. How cool would it be if we
actually got to work together?”
Emmett had been so focused on the role itself he hadn’t considered the benefit of working with Aaron.
Already he could feel something shift within him, enveloping his heart in a more excruciating longing.
Stop that. As genuinely happy as Aaron seemed to be to reconnect, Emmett knew in his gut that there
was nothing more there. Whatever attraction he might have felt years ago had vanished with Emmett’s
slimmer physique.
The clinical trial wasn’t working. Emmett wasn’t going to be thin. It was time to let go of the fantasy and
take what he could get.