Justin would host. Good—that would make things cleaner. His apartment wasn’t the same one where they’d done this the first time, but it was in the same area, on the upper floor of a small, two-story building on Kemper Street that looked barely updated since the Johnson era. Emmett wasn’t the same either. He was no longer twenty-three. He didn’t arrive with a belly roiling with nerves and self-doubt. He didn’t frantically message, I’m here, I’m outside, and when Justin didn’t immediately answer, panic that he’d been ghosted. He knew better than to knock and be scolded for waking Justin’s roommate if he had one. This time, he stood outside and tapped out a single word. Here Eventually the door swung open. Justin filled the doorway, huge in his sweats and tank top, hairy arms glistening like glazed tattooed hams. He grinned, apparently pleased that Emmett’s photo matched the reality. Invited him in with a yank of his head. The apartment was more updated on the inside—new laminate floors, dark wood cabinetry, fresh white walls covered in framed movie posters. Scarface, The Godfather, Scorsese. Justin retreated into the living room—black leather couch, giant TV on a high-gloss entertainment center. The back of his tank was dark with sweat. He’d just come back from the gym. Hadn’t even showered, judging by the stink of him. The Obexity heightened Emmett’s sense of smell. He didn’t mind; a little salt would bring out the flavor of the meat. Justin crossed to a cart of nice bottles and a cut-glass decanter, matching glasses. “Want a drink?” “Malibu. Neat.” Justin grimaced, shook his head in disgust. He poured himself a bourbon and thrust Emmett’s drink at him. The glass was quality, thick and weighty in his hand. Emmett drank, staring into Justin’s charcoal-gray eyes. The rum went down sweet and smooth as candy. “Nice place. You live alone?” “I’m too fucking old for roommates.” One less to thing to worry about. Emmett noticed Donnie Darko playing on the TV, and his expression must have changed. “Jake Gyllenhaal gets me hard,” Justin said. No he doesn’t, Emmett thought Hungrily. He wouldn’t be able to hold out much longer. He drained the glass, st epped forward, and, abandoning all thought of etiquette, smashed his face against Justin’s. The man’s breath was an assault on the senses. Emmett devoured him. “Fuck!” Justin jerked back with a little shove, touching his bleeding lip. “You bit me.” “Sorry,” Emmett said with a breath of laughter. “Can I have another drink?” Justin sneered. “Better go easy on that sweet stuff. Don’t want to blow up again.” It was like a hand had closed over Emmett’s stomach and twisted. “What?” Justin snorted; he was enjoying this. “You thought I wouldn’t recognize you just because you dropped a few pounds? Okay, maybe ‘few’ is an understatement. You were fucking huge. Seriously, how much did you eat?”
A tremor of violence started in Emmett’s arm. But Justin seemed oblivious, half expecting Emmett to laugh along with him. Did he think the weight loss had changed Emmett into a different person? Did he think that because he’d lost a hundred pounds, Emmett would be okay with this open display of disgust for his fat body and the mindless gluttony Justin was so quick to project onto it? But then, hadn’t Emmett made the same mistake? Thought of his fat self as a different self, a lesser self, a self that one day he’d leave behind forever? At once, the murderous impulse fled his body. “I have to go.” He tried to hand Justin the glass back, but he refused to take it. “Oh, don’t be so fucking butt-hurt. Probably couldn’t get it up for your fat ass anyway.” Emmett’s fist whitened on the glass, muscles flexing around the cords of his neck. His Hunger writhed and gnashed its teeth. Justin was too stupid to fear him; from the rising flush of his cheeks and the shape snaking down the leg of his sweats, the combination of cruelty and rejection had fired him up. Emmett looked down as Justin tugged roughly at his belt. His stomach throbbed with need. On his knees, Justin pulled Emmett’s shorts down, took him into his mouth. He grew irritated, maybe insecure, when Emmett’s dick refused to harden. After a minute he wrenched his head back. “What’s wrong with you?” “Sorry,” Emmett sneered. “I thought I could make this work.” He swung his hand. The glass connected with a hollow thunk against Justin’s temple. Justin fell sideways, then stirred with a low guttural moan as Emmett yanked his shorts back up. Emmett sat astride his back and brought the glass down with force against his skull, dropping him to the floor. Whaled on him again and again and again, reveling in the de epening crunch of bone with each successive strike. The spray of blood through the air. The taste of it on his lips. After years of being beaten down, it was Emmett’s turn. Thunk, thunk, SMASH— He grabbed his hand with a hiss of pain. A shard gleamed out of his palm, his blood already tap-tap-tapping onto the floor. Saturating the carpet with his DNA. Fuck, fuck, fuck! The police would have his balls after this. A devilish thought intruded: You’ve already ruined your life for this meal; might as well make it count. Appendix V—Instagram Post thetrueme. by. emmett. t 202 posts 28,542 followers 2,009 following Emmett Truesdale | Weight Loss Educator | Self- Actualization Coach Inspiring your #Weight Loss journey by living my own. Use code TRUEME for $25 off my “Unlocking—and Loving—the True You” course. linktr. ee/thetrueme thetrueme. by. emmett. t San Diego, CA PHOTO DESCRIPTION: Participant no. 82941 standing in bathroom mirror, sweatshirt raised, squeezing his belly fat in one hand. His eyes are red and his cheeks tear streaked.
Superimposed with words “I GAINED 34 LBS. ” 2,221 likes thetrueme. by. emmett. t Some of you may have noticed in my recent photos that I’m not looking like myself these days. (Some of you were even kind enough to point it out to me lol!!!) Well, it’s true: I’ve had a bit of a wobble in my #weightlossjourney. Okay, maybe more than a wobble. Earlier this month I weighed 207 pounds, 34 pounds heavier than my lowest weight of 173. I won’t get into the nitty-gritty of what went wrong. Needless to say, the journey to a better you is rarely a straight path. It’s full of ups and downs, twists and turns, skipped visits to the gym and late-night junk food binges (okay, I may be projecting there ). Seriously though, it’s been rough, and I feel like I need to be honest about that. Some of you have been on this journey with me since the beginning. Your support has given me so much strength, and I know with you by my side, this hiccup will be a thing of the past in no time. I’m pleased to say, I’m already heading in the right direction. After pulling myself up by my weightlifting straps and making the necessary changes, I’m down to 193 lbs. and more motivated than ever to ke ep it going, all the way to my goal weight of 150. I’m confident I’ll get there—because this right here? This is the TRUE me: resilient, strong, a survivor. Maybe a little hungry—okay, ALWAYS a little hungry. But it’s gonna take more than that to ke ep me down. QOTD: Have you ever had a wobble in your weight loss journey? Comment below with what you did to pull yourself out of it. #weightloss #130 poundsdown #ke epingitreal #thetrueme Comments heatherette478 I’m so proud of you for being vulnerable like this and opening up. You’re so right, weight loss is full of ups and downs but we’re in this together! You got this!!! thetrueme. by. emmett. t @heatherette478 Thank you so much for sticking with me! ruth_delgado_ You don’t know how much I needed this today. Been struggling to get back on track for months. It feels so good just to know I’m not alone. thetrueme. by. emmett. t @ruth_delgado_ Oh Ruth, I know exactly how you feel. You’re going to get back to it as soon as your mind and body are ready. I believe in you!!! thefatandthefurious You are so real for this thetrueme. by. emmett. t @thefatandthefurious dogs_and_dumbells Following. This is exactly the kind of weight loss realness I’ve been looking for. thetrueme. by. emmett. t @dogs_and_dumbells Thank you and welcome! Your puppers are so cute! dkpurcell1 You look great!!! thetrueme. by. emmett. t @dkpurcell1 Aw, thanks! ericfitla When you’re making progress as fast as you are, a bump in the road can send you flying. Nothing to be ashamed of. You got this. thetrueme. by. emmett. t @ericfitla Very wise words... Thank you! ~dolphin. girl~ I gained 30 lbs in a month after my cat died,,, i lost 8 lbs on weight watchers but gained 14,,, now i have high cholesterol,, thetrueme. by. emmett. t @~dolphin. girl~ I feel your struggle! Don’t let it get you down. Ke ep working and I’m sure you’ll hit your goal. ~dolphin. girl~ @thetrueme. by. emmett. t What do you suggest for me,,
diet and exercise doesn’t work for me what do you suggest?? rita_mamacita This is why I follow you, because you’re the real deal. Inspiration! thetrueme. by. emmett. t @rita_mamacita You don’t know how much that means to me! Thank you!! joanna_225 I know you’re busy and famous, but call your mama sometime. She loves you. thetrueme. by. emmett. t Thank you, everyone! All your comments have inspired me. Tomorrow morning I’m opening sign-ups for a new course: “Get Back on Track after a Wobble without Missing a Beat!” November 8