I studied Amber’s face, waiting for her next move, my heartbeat reverberating through my whole body.
She took her time. ‘What I’ve known about you, since the first day we met, is how bright you are,’ she
said eventually. ‘Thank you,’ I said uncertainly. ‘But in a way, that’s the tragedy. Such wasted potential,
Rachel! The way your family have treated you. You hating yourself, every single day. All that
potential’s been sucked down the drain.’
I couldn’t let her words slip inside and destroy me, even though they were so perfectly judged. She
knew exactly where my bruises lay. ‘What are you trying to say?’ She studied my face. ‘That my
investment in you – my love for you – it’s completely genuine. What I’m about to tell you doesn’t take
away from that. I truly believe your family are toxic, and what you need more than anything is to
liberate yourself from them at any cost.’
‘Just say it, Amber, please,’ I said, willing the desperation out of my voice. ‘Whatever it is.’ Amber
paused, a faraway expression on her face as she looked out of the window. ‘Please try to just hear this,
Rachel. Don’t go straight to betrayal. I’ve taught you so much about how complex it is to be human.
How nuanced.’ She was staring into my eyes now. ‘It’s not just your life that your parents have
destroyed. It’s also mine.’ She paused. ‘And my child’s.’
‘Your child’s?’ I said, blindsided. ‘I didn’t even know you had a child.’ She looked stricken. ‘There’s
been times when it’s felt as though I didn’t. When our relationship has been so broken – thanks to your
parents – that it almost died.’
‘My parents? What the hell have my parents got to do with your child?’ And then, as I stared at her – as
I looked into the twin sapphires of her eyes – it felt as though the earth was cratering beneath my feet.
My hand was over my mouth, a sharp tang of vomit in the back of my throat. ‘Esther. Esther’s your
child.’ Amber nodded slowly, a slow smile spreading across her face, as though order had finally been
restored. ‘My baby,’ she said.