When I look back, it’s hard not to curse my own naivety. The fact is, I wanted to believe that I’d solved
the problem. After all, I’d solved bigger, darker problems before. Perhaps by then I believed I was
invincible. When Rachel called me, the apologies that I’d been angrily craving finally erupting out of
her, I let myself feel the relief. When Amber – the self-appointed queen of patient/client confidentiality
– told me that their session had been a ‘de eply healing experience’, I forgave her the Californian syrup
and celebrated the good news.
My self-belief wasn’t narcissism – it was the absolute opposite. Everything I did, I did for my family. I
sacrificed every last vestige of my own peace of mind so that they could sle ep at night. How was I to
know that my ‘solving the problem’ was me simply seeding the ground for far bigger issues to grow?
No one ever acknowledges that it was unadulterated love that drove me to do what I did.