# Chapter 46: Try to Live With It
Hello everyone, it's me again! How are you all doing? Today I will continue to walk with you and review Chapter 46 of "The Housemaid." Oh, my friends, this is one of those chapters that reaches deep into your chest and squeezes until you can't breathe. We finally get to step inside Nina's world — the real Nina, the one hidden behind the gates of that beautiful prison. And what we find is both heartbreaking and terrifying.
The chapter opens with a deceptively peaceful scene: Nina riding in Suzanne's Audi, the wind playing with her hair after a lunch date. On the surface, they're just two suburban housewives gossiping about the bored women in town. But underneath that casual chatter lies a woman trapped in a nightmare that's been going on for seven long years.
Seven years. Let that sink in.
Andy has kept every single promise he ever made to Nina. He's supported her financially, acted as a father figure to Cecelia, stayed even-tempered and agreeable. He doesn't drink excessively or cheat behind her back. By all outside appearances, he's the perfect husband. But Nina tells us the truth that will shatter your heart: she hates his guts.
I want you to really feel what Nina has endured. She has tried *everything* to escape this marriage. She bargained with Andy, offering to leave with just Cecelia and the clothes on her back. But he just laughed — because with her history of mental health problems, he could easily convince the police she'd kidnapped her own daughter and was planning to hurt her again. So she played the role of the perfect wife, cooking delicious dinners, keeping the house spotless, even pretending not to be repulsed when he touched her. None of it mattered. He always found something to punish her for. Something she never even knew she did wrong.
So she changed tactics. She tried to repel him. She acted like a shrew, snapped at him over every irritation, stopped going to the gym, ate whatever she wanted — hoping she could disgust him enough to make him leave her alone. But here's the cruelty: he seemed to *enjoy* her abuse. And when he caught her indulging in chocolate cake one afternoon, he dragged her up to the attic and starved her for two days. After that, he simply stopped caring about her appearance altogether.
She tried to find Kathleen — the former fiancée we learned about earlier. She had a rough idea of what Kathleen looked like and her approximate age. But how many Kathleens are there between thirty and thirty-five? Quite a lot, as it turns out. She never found her. And eventually, she gave up.
Let me tell you about the rhythm of her torture, because it's important to understand. On average, Andy makes her go up to the attic once every other month. Sometimes more, sometimes less. Once, six months passed without a single trip. And she confesses something truly chilling: she doesn't know if that uncertainty is better or worse. If she knew the exact day, she'd have to dread it. But never knowing — never knowing if tonight she'll sleep in her own bed or on that uncomfortable cot — is its own special kind of hell. And she never knows what punishment awaits, because she never knows what crime she's committed to deserve it.
But it's not just Nina who suffers. If Cecelia does something "unacceptable," *Nina* gets punished. Andy has bought a whole wardrobe of itchy, frilly dresses that Cecelia hates — dresses the other children mock her for wearing. But Cecelia knows the rules: if she refuses to wear them or gets them dirty, her mother will disappear for days. So she obeys. She wears the awful dresses and endures the teasing, all to protect her mom.
Now, I need to pause here and tell you about the peanut butter. That jar of peanut butter that sits in their pantry, always reappearing no matter how many times Nina throws it away. Cecelia is allergic — it's not life-threatening, but it breaks her out in painful welts all over her body. And Andy, this monster in human skin, sometimes slips a little into her dinner, just to prove a point when the rash blooms after their meal.
I have to be honest with you — my blood boiled reading this. And Nina admits something that terrified even me: if she knew she wouldn't go to jail for it, she would pick up a steak knife and drive it through his neck. But Andy has prepared for that too. He's told her that in the event of his death — from *any* cause — a letter will be sent from his attorney to the police, detailing her unstable behavior and homicidal threats. That's his insurance policy. That's how he keeps her in line.
So Nina stays. She doesn't murder him in his sleep or hire a hitman. But she fantasizes. She holds onto one fragile hope: when Cecelia is older, when her daughter no longer needs her, maybe she can finally escape. Once her daughter is safe, Nina doesn't care what happens to her. Oh, that line broke me. A mother who's willing to sacrifice everything — even her own life — just to protect her child.
Now, let's talk about Suzanne, because their friendship is a wound that never fully healed. A few years ago, Nina got close to Suzanne. One evening, after too many drinks, Nina confessed *everything*. She begged Suzanne to help her go to the police. Suzanne held her hand, swore everything would be okay, promised they'd figure it out together. Nina cried with relief, believing her nightmare was finally over.
But when she got home, Andy was waiting for her. Because here's what Nina didn't know: every time she makes a new friend, Andy seeks that friend out. He warns them about her "mental health history," tells them what she tried to do years ago, and instructs them to call him immediately if they have any concerns. Suzanne had slipped away during their conversation, pretending to use the bathroom, and called Andy to warn him that Nina was "having delusions again."
The result? Another two-month stay at Clearview psychiatric facility. And while she was there, Nina discovered that at least one of the directors was a golfing buddy of Andy's father.
When she got out, Suzanne apologized profusely. *I was just worried about you, Nina. I'm so glad you got help.* And Nina forgave her — because Suzanne was tricked the same way she was. But things were never the same between them. And Nina learned a lesson she'll never unlearn: she can never trust anyone again.
I need you to hold onto that lesson when I tell you what happens next.
The scene shifts. Suzanne drives Nina home, chattering about the school play, but suddenly she gets distracted. It's Enzo — the local landscaper who works on their yard. He's good at his job, always works hard, never makes excuses. And yes, he's admittedly pretty easy on the eyes. Suzanne practically drools over him, demanding his phone number before Nina even gets out of the car.
Enzo, you see, doesn't speak any English. He greets Nina with a warm "Ciao, Señora," and she returns his smile with genuine fondness. There's something different about him. He plants beautiful flowers. He's patient with Cecelia, teaching her the names of each bloom, giving her little jobs to do in the flower bed even though it slows him down. He has tattoos on his upper arms — one shows the name "Antonia" etched in a heart on his bicep, making Nina wonder who she was to him. And sometimes, Nina finds herself thinking that if only Enzo spoke English, she could confide in him. He seems kind. Trustworthy. Like he might be the one person who would actually believe her.
And this is where the chapter takes a turn that made my heart stop.
Nina is standing there watching him clip the hedges. She hasn't worked since the day she moved into that house — Andy won't allow it — and she misses it. She feels like Enzo would understand. And here's the thing she admits: sometimes she feels like if she doesn't say the words out loud, she's going to lose her mind for real.
So she says them.
"*My husband is a monster*," she says aloud. "*He tortures me. He holds me hostage in the attic.*"
Enzo's shoulders stiffen. He lowers his clippers, his brow furrowed. And he says: "*Señora... Nina...*"
My friends, Nina's stomach turns to ice. Why did she say that? She thought it would be safe — he doesn't understand English, after all. Telling him was like whispering into the wind, a way to release the pressure without consequences. But when she looks into his dark eyes, she sees understanding there. Understanding she never expected to find.
She backs away, tells him to never mind, and hurriedly retreats into the house. She's certain she'll have to fire him now. But Enzo simply picks up his clippers and returns to work.
Inside, near the window, there's a spectacular arrangement of flowers representing every color of the rainbow. Andy brought them home last night to surprise her — his way of showing what a spectacular husband he is when she's "well behaved." But Nina looks past the flowers, out the window, at Enzo still working in the yard. He pauses. He looks up. Their eyes meet for a split second.
And then she looks away.
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What a chapter, my friends. What an absolutely devastating chapter. We finally see the full scope of Nina's captivity — not the locked-door kind, but the kind where the cage is made of threats, manipulation, and gaslighting so thorough that even her friends become her jailers. Every avenue of escape has been sealed shut by Andy's calculated cruelty. The system that should protect her is the system he's weaponized against her. And the one tiny moment of vulnerability she allows herself — speaking to a man who can't even understand her — becomes a near-disaster that leaves her terrified.
The tragedy of Nina is that she's been so thoroughly isolated and discredited that she has no one left. No one except perhaps a gardener who may have understood more than he let on. That moment of eye contact at the window — was it recognition? Compassion? Or was it the beginning of another trap? We'll have to keep reading to find out.
**Reader's Impressions & Star Rating:**
Oh, this chapter hit me right in the gut. Watching Nina's hope get systematically dismantled — first by Andy's manipulation, then by Suzanne's betrayal, and finally by her own realization that even confiding in someone who "can't understand" her puts her at risk — was agonizing. The detail about the peanut butter nearly undid me. That's not just cruelty; that's sadism aimed at a child. And yet, through it all, Nina's love for Cecelia shines like a beacon. She's not a victim who's given up; she's a mother who's strategizing, enduring, waiting. The writing is gripping, the tension is masterful, and that final exchange with Enzo leaves you desperate for what comes next. I cannot recommend this chapter enough.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Rating: 4.9 / 5 Stars
**Next Chapter Prediction:**
Oh, my friends, the pieces are moving. That look between Nina and Enzo wasn't just a glance — it felt like a crack in the wall of her prison. I predict that Enzo will reveal he understands far more English than he's let on, and that this quiet, kind gardener will become the unexpected ally Nina never thought she'd find. But you know Andy — he's always watching, always one step ahead. I have a terrible feeling that before help can arrive, Andy will notice the gardener's growing attention toward his wife, and that the next trip to the attic might be Nina's most brutal punishment yet — or that Enzo might just become the one person who finally believes her enough to act.
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