Tallulah Three classes and still no sign of Nash. I hated that it was what had driven me to lose weight. That my hurt and disappointment in him had made me walk every day. Because I wanted to be proud of what I’d done. I was healthier. I had more energy. I felt confident. But I hadn’t achieved all this for me. “You decided on a college yet?” Asa asked. Once again he was there beside me. He’d barely left my side all day. It was annoying. “Not yet,” I r eplied. I had it down to three different colleges. My ACT score last year had been a 29, and that was high enough for all the colleges I was interested in. However, I was going to take it one more time to see if I could get it up to a 30. “I want to go to Ole Miss. Hoping I can get the attention of their scouts this season,” Asa said, looking more confident than he should. The only guy on the team I expected to get a football scholarship was Nash. The others were good, but the stars had graduated this past May. “They’ve got a beautiful campus” was all I could think to say. Mississippi was too close to Alabama. Not far enough away from here for me. I was going northeast or west. I hadn’t yet made that decision. But it would be far away. He chuckled as if my comment was amusing. “I guess. But what really matters is their football program.” “Most guys here dream of Alabama.” I stated the obvious.
He shrugged. “I’ll never be a star there. I’d never get a chance. Too much competition.” I had to agree with him, but Ole Miss wasn’t exactly easy either. Wasn’t my business, so I just k ept my mouth shut. “Nash! Where you been?” Asa called out, and instantly my heart picked up its pace. I didn’t want to look his way. He didn’t need to see me looking for him. Just because my heart still went a little silly over his name didn’t mean my head did. When Nash didn’t respond, Asa sighed heavily. “I need to go talk to him.” I had to bite my tongue to ke ep from asking why. Nash was always happy and friendly. I gave in slightly and peeked in the direction of Asa’s gaze. Nash’s eyes were cold—or were they empty?—as he looked straight ahead. He wasn’t the smiling guy I remembered. Actually, I had never seen him so... angry. “I’ll find you later. Lunch?” he asked, moving in Nash’s direction. I almost r eplied that I’d be in the library, reading. That’s where I wanted to be. But this year I was going to be different. I nodded. “Sure.” He shot me a giant grin, then headed toward Nash. The crowd in the hallway had almost blocked him from view. Asa fought through the bodies, and I looked away. I wouldn’t let Nash see me looking at him. I’d ignore him. That was the plan. To make him feel unimportant. Invisible. To make him feel like I had felt. “Tallulah,” a female voice said, and I turned my attention to the left of me.
Mary Dees, the senior class president and one of the only girls in our class who seemed to know me, was smiling at me. “Hello,” I r eplied. She beamed brightly. Mary was always happy. She was in charge of every charity event the school held and editor of the yearbook, and I was pretty sure she read to the preschoolers at the library twice a week. “You look amazing. It took me a moment to figure out who you were.” She sincerely meant this as a compliment. In ninth grade she wrote a paper about how on Thanksgiving she and her family went to the homeless shelter and served dinner to the people there. She explained how rewarding it was and encouraged others to do the same. There wasn’t a mean bone in the girl’s body. “Thank you,” I r eplied. “I didn’t mean you weren’t beautiful before. You were. You’ve always had amazing hair, and those eyes of yours are stunning. I just meant, you really stand out now.” She paused and frowned. “I think that made it worse. I am not saying this right.” “It’s okay. I know what you mean,” I assured her. She looked relieved. “Good. I debated saying anything at all for fear it would come out wrong. It’s just everyone is going on and on about the ‘new girl,’ and it annoys me. You’re not new. We go to school with a lot of blind people.” “Yes we do,” I agreed. “I’ll see you later. This is my stop,” she said, then gave me a little wave before turning in to the senior Lit class.
I was almost to my class when I felt someone’s gaze on me. I turned my head, and my eyes locked with Nash’s. There was no gleam. No sparkle of fun. Instead there was pain. Sorrow. Anger. Confused, I wasn’t able to look away. But he did. He turned around and went into a room. No smile. Nothing. I stood there watching his back until it disappeared into the room. Then I stood there a moment longer. What was wrong with Nash Lee? This was not how I had imagined this moment. And I had played this scenario over in my head a million times while walking in the summer heat. It drove me daily, as did his laughter at a cruel remark said about me. But that Nash... he wasn’t the Nash I had expected. No flirty smile. Nothing. I wasn’t friends with these people on social media. I k ept to myself. No one told me things. But something was definitely different. Others didn’t seem to think it was odd. Asa had seemed to acc ept it easily enough. So what was I missing? The warning bell sounded, and I tore my gaze from the now closed door that Nash had entered. Quickly I made it to my next class before the late bell. But my mind was on Nash Lee. It seemed to always be on Nash. Just when I thought I’d get my revenge and move on, something happened and it all changed. Other than Nash staring at me for a moment, I had been all but invisible to him. Or unimportant. He’d always spoken to me in the past. Always been kind. Now that I looked like the girls he dated, he had nothing to say to me.
“You got this class next?” Ryker asked with a flirty grin. One I was used to seeing on his cousin. “Yes,” I r eplied. “Good. It just got a hell of a lot better.” That was a stupid comment. One I was sure that worked on girls all the time. But not me. I was the fat girl he hoped didn’t wear a bathing suit. I wouldn’t forget that, even though he obviously had.