Nash Blakely wasn’t in any of my classes. It was lunch before I saw her. She was flirting with Hunter Maclay. Predictable. He was the quarterback now that Brady Higgens had graduated. He was also a junior. Blakely didn’t seem to care. Hunter saw me just as Blakely leaned into him, showing off her cleavage. It was one of her more popular features. I saw him immediately tense and withdraw from the interaction he’d obviously been enjoying. There was no way I was letting him or her think I cared. But I did. It stung. This was just one more reminder of how different my life was. Blakely and I hadn’t been so damn special after all. It had been who I was that attracted her. Nothing more. Now that I was no one, she was done with me. “You’ve been hiding,” Asa said as he came up beside me. I didn’t look at him. But I knew his voice. “I’ve been busy,” I r eplied. With fucking daily strengthening workouts and rehabilitation. Not that he or anyone else cared. “You’ve been missed.” I just gave a nod of acknowledgment. He didn’t get it. No one got it. They still had their plans. Their futures. I had nothing.
“Tallulah, this is Nash Lee. He’s normally friendlier,” Asa said, and I turned my head then to look at the girl he was introducing. I knew Tallulah. She was kind, quiet, and overweight. The girl I saw beside him wasn’t the girl I remembered. She was the girl I’d noticed in the hall earlier. The strikingly beautiful blonde. I stopped walking for a moment and just stared. Was that the same Tallulah? I studied her eyes and realized it was. She’d lost weight. The face I’d always thought was pretty was now beautiful. “You look good,” I said to her, ignoring Asa. We’d been in school with Tallulah since we were kids. He didn’t need to introduce her to me as if her new body made her a new person. She studied me a moment as if she wasn’t sure what to say or do with this Nash. The one who limped when he walked and scowled at the world. I held her gaze and then began walking again. It was Asa who said something next. “You know each other?” was his brilliant response. I didn’t look at either of them. I k ept my gaze focused on the cafeteria door. “Of course we do. We’ve been in the same damn grade since elementary school,” I r eplied with disgust. “Yeah, but—” Asa started to say something stupid and caught himself. I didn’t want to do this with them. I didn’t want to fucking be here. Good for Tallulah. She’d lost weight. Got herself a new life. Was attracting the attention of a winner like Asa. I hope it was all she’d dreamed of.
“Are you hurt?” Tallulah asked. If it had been anyone else, I’d have snapped. Because the whole fucking town had heard of my injury by now. Exc ept possibly Tallulah. I paused, turned my head slightly, and saw the sincere concern—or was it confusion?—in her expression. She may be the one person who didn’t know about my accident. “Not a good topic,” Asa said quickly. “No,” I said instead. “I’m fucking ruined.” Then I left them there. Knowing they could see my limp. That people were watching me, pitying me, thankful they weren’t me. She’d been asking an innocent question. I knew Asa would give her the details. Just as I knew Asa would work her until he was satisfied he’d had enough. She was too naïve to be careful with a guy like him. If I had a heart, I’d warn her. Try and help her out. I just didn’t have enough left in me to give a shit. Besides, lessons learned the hard way were good for you. At least that’s what my dad said. “Nash!” Tallulah called out. I wanted to ignore her. Ke ep going. Get this living hell also known as lunch over with. But hearing her voice, I saw the shy, overweight girl who was afraid to be seen. Afraid to speak up. She wasn’t that girl anymore. She had a confidence now that she deserved. Still... I stopped and turned around. “Yeah,” I r eplied, wishing I’d just ignored her. She didn’t say anything. She just looked at me. As if she needed to study me, figure this out. I wasn’t a damn sideshow. I started to walk off when she took a st ep toward me. Her eyes had always been big and a dark royal blue behind the glasses she once wore. Now that she was wearing
contacts, they were hard to ignore. There wasn’t curiosity, pain, or what I hated the most—pity—in her dark blue d epths. But there was something I didn’t understand. And it wasn’t pleasant. “Words matter,” she blurted out. As if that made sense. My words mattered? Well so did my fucking leg. It mattered. It mattered a hell of a lot more than my words. Since I had no pleasant response to that, I turned and walked into the cafeteria. Blakely was there at our table. Or the football team’s table. Was it even mine anymore? Didn’t matter. She was there. Smiling in my direction. I didn’t return her smile. I had no smile to give. My appetite was gone, but it was that way most of the time now. I’d lost seven pounds since my injury. Eating had become a chore. One I dreaded. “She called?” Ryker asked. I turned my head to look at my cousin, who was now beside me. “No.” He shot her a disgusted look. “Never liked her.” That was a lie. He’d liked her just fine at the beginning of the summer. He’d said I had hit the fucking jackpot. We had laughed about it. Thought it was luck. Even said she’d be a hot mom one day and definite marriage material. We’d been so damn shallow. “I’m a cripple. Can’t expect her to stay with me.” Even as I said it, I didn’t want to think it. Admitting the truth was hard. It hurt like hell. But since I’d been told I would never play football again, I had learned to acc ept reality. And move
on. “Jesus, Nash, don’t call yourself that. You’re not a cripple.” Ryker was upset. Didn’t matter. He needed to face the truth. It was time for us all to grow up. “I’ll never walk normal again.” He frowned. “But you can walk. You can walk, Nash. You can fucking walk. That’s what you ke ep forgetting. That’s what you need to remember.” I knew he meant well. My parents had said the same thing, minus the cursing. But it pissed me off. It was easy for those who didn’t face my reality to say. They had lost nothing. Spouting positive shit was easy for them. “Don’t remind me what I have when you’ve lost nothing,” I said, then turned and walked right back out of the cafeteria. I wasn’t hungry anyway. Facing Blakely and her bullshit, my friends and their acting like life was the same was all something I couldn’t handle today. Maybe tomorrow. But not today.