Tallulah “What?” I was stunned. Out of all the things he was going to say, that wasn’t what I had imagined. “The day of the accident. I saw you. Haegan was with me. I was coming to find you. Talk after our argument at lunch. And I saw you kiss Dace. But I don’t care. Not anymore. I just want you. I want to be with you. I love you.” I shook my head and backed up. “You saw me kiss Mr. Dace?” I asked to clarify. Because I had never kissed Mr. Dace. I’d been attacked by the man. What Nash was describing never happened. “I came to the room, Tallulah. I saw him lean in and kiss you. So, technically, I guess he kissed you.” I waited for more, but he said nothing. “Did you see what happened next? Where were you when I shoved him off me in complete shock? Or when I ran from the room and he followed me into the women’s restroom? Did you see when he told me he loved me? Were you watching when I begged him to leave me alone?” His expression said it all. He’d seen nothing but the kiss. He had believed the worst. He hadn’t trusted me. And when I needed him most, he wasn’t there. When I needed him, he had pushed me away. “Shit, Tallulah,” he whispered. “God, I am so sorry. I didn’t know. I saw the kiss. I couldn’t watch it. I was hurt. I left. I didn’t know.”
“And I didn’t know why you shut me out. I have never been as scared as I was when I stood for hours on the street, watching, waiting for anything. Someone to tell me you were alive. That you were okay. All I wanted to do was see you, touch you. Know you were breathing. But you sent me away without a word.” He sighed and ran his hand over his face. “I’m an idiot.” “You say you love me, Nash. But I can’t be sure I believe that. Love isn’t supposed to turn on you so easily. Love is supposed to be stronger. Isn’t it?” We stood there silently staring at each other. I never expected to hear Nash Lee tell me he loved me. He’d broken into my house to do it. Even when I had shut him out every way I could. But forgiving him. Forgetting what he did, that made me vulnerable. “I messed up. I can’t apologize enough. If you can’t forgive me, if you can’t love me, please... don’t shut me out. I can’t lose you completely. If all I can have is your friendship, then I’ll take it. Just to see you smile at me. To be close to you. If I can have that... if it’s all I can have, I will take it.” I stood there, unable to respond to that. Was he serious? Was that what real love was? To take whatever you could get, even if it hurt you daily? Did I love him that much? I did. Losing him had cracked me, then crushed me. I missed him. Just this. Being near him gave me a peace. It shouldn’t. We were throwing it all out there. How we felt. The lies. The truths. The hurt. And still in this moment I had a feeling of being whole. Because he was with me. He was here. “I had decided it was easier to not know love or experience it than to have it and lose it. Knowing what you
lost is more painful than not knowing what you’ve never had. But... I think I was wrong.” I sighed and wiped away the tears still on my face before continuing. “I think that knowing love, having the experience, feeling the joy of it, is something everyone should have in life. It’s part of life. It’s what ultimately drives us. We do everything because of love. Knowing how it felt to love you, to be with you, it was there even when I was in a dark place. The memory helped. As much as it hurt, it also got me through.” Nash’s expression was tense. Almost nervous. Unsure. “Does that mean you’re good with just having the memory? Or do I have a chance? Because I really want a chance, Tallulah. More than I’ve wanted anything in my life. I can stand here and honestly tell you that if I was given a choice right now between my leg being completely healed and my future at football restored, or having your forgiveness and a chance to have your love. I’d choose you. I swear it.” It was hard to believe that. But his face was so sincere. His eyes now held unshed tears. He’d been hurting too. Differently than me, but he’d been alone in his own way. Fitting in at school, having friends, it didn’t fix everything. We all were alone at some point, even in a crowded room. “More than football?” I was smiling when I asked. A slow smile touched his face. “I swear.” Forgiveness is a choice. It’s taking a chance. It’s making yourself vulnerable. But it’s what you have to do if you want to live a full life. Hiding from it all isn’t living. I know. I’d tried it many times. Not once had I been happy hiding from it. Forgetting is harder. It’s letting go of the armor you put in place. It’s opening yourself back up. It’s the only way to
truly be happy. “I’ve loved you most of my life,” I admitted to him. “For most of it I loved you from afar. I didn’t really know you. But once I got the chance, I quickly fell in love. It was impossible not to.” He took a st ep toward me. Cautiously. “Does this mean we aren’t going to just be friends? That I have another chance?” His tone hopeful and achingly sweet. “Did you actually think we could just be friends?” I asked him, amused. He shrugged. “No. Not really. But I was grabbing at anything I could. If you only wanted to be my friend, I would have taken it. I’d have scowled at anyone who got close to you. Probably caused problems, made you yell at me.” He was grinning now and st epping closer. “I’d also end up trying to kiss you, and you would slap me in the face.” Our chests were touching now. My thighs brushed against his. I could smell the mint from his gum as his breath mingled with mine. Being close to him like this made my knees weak. I imagined it always would. Nothing could change that. “I don’t think I would slap you.” My words came out in a whisper as my gaze dropped to his lips. He had really good lips, especially for a guy. “No?” he asked as his palm touched my back and he pressed me closer. His mouth was almost on mine. “Definitely not.” My voice trembled, and then his lips touched mine. We were both different now. We’d gone through a lot in a short amount of time. But one thing was the same. This was
where we belonged. We’d found our perfect fit in an unlikely situation.