Grandma Ruth has a little old dog named Milky. I think it’s because he’s white. But he’s never all white. He’s always a little dirty. He plays out in the Loblolly Pines behind her house. Sometimes Mommy washes Milky in Grandma’s sink. Grandma’s house is small, but so is she. When all four of us sit around the kitchen table we’re all really close. Her living room is small too. Daddo said the ceilings are low. There’s a light-green carpet and a white couch in the living room. Milky likes both. Down the hall is Grandma’s bedroom. Upstairs there are two rooms mostly empty, exc ept one has a futon. That’s where we’ll sle ep tonight, I think. But we’re still in the kitchen now. And it’s late. The latest I’ve ever stayed up I think. Mommy and Daddo told Grandma it’s because the power went out in our house. They told me not to say this isn’t true. In the car they told me to pretend the lights being out is real. So I pretend. Pretending is not the same as lying. It’s lovely to see you, Bela, Grandma Ruth says. Even if it’s because the power is out. Grandma is not much bigger than me. Even when she stands. We can’t thank you enough, Daddo says. It’s a pain in the butt, to be sure. Mommy and Daddo took some time in the car to “not look so crazy.” That’s what Mommy said they needed to do. But I don’t know if it worked. In the car Mommy said to me: She wouldn’t understand what’s happening. And it might scare her. You’re free to use all of the upstairs, Grandma says. I haven’t been up there in six months, but I’m sure there are still two bedrooms and a bathroom. Grandma likes to make jokes. She’s funny. Daddo smiles but Mommy doesn’t. Daddo and Grandma are good friends. We’ll figure it out, Mommy says. Thanks, Mom. Of course. What are old ladies for if not housing youth in trouble? She looks at me and smiles, and Milky peers around her ankles and I think he smiles too. Come on, Bela, Mommy says. Do you need anything to eat? Grandma asks. Anything to drink? You know what, Daddo says, some water and maybe a sandwich would be nice. I can make it myself. Don’t be silly. I’ll do it. Mommy looks bothered. Like she’s tired and doesn’t want to stay up anymore. Head to bed, Grandma tells her. I’ll make sure he eats. I like being in this kitchen. It always smells good. Like Grandma always just made chicken fingers or baked a pie. What are you hungry for? Grandma asks Daddo.
Whatever you’ve got. She opens the refrigerator. Perfect, Daddo says. You’ve got cheese and bread. All I need. Come on, now, Grandma says. I’ve got avocado and mustard and onions too. It takes two minutes more for a sandwich to get good. That sounds incredible, Daddo says. Grandma looks to Mommy and me. Like she knows something is happening. Milky is at my feet, waiting for me to pet him. How did you discover the power was out? Grandma asks. She’s making Daddo’s sandwich at the counter. Nothing was on, Mommy says. But at this hour? Did you get up to use the bathroom? Grandma looks at me like I’m gonna tell her the real story. Yes, Mommy says. But at the same time, Daddo says: No. Mmm-hmm, Grandma says. My alarm clock goes off when the power goes out, Daddo says. Alarm? You know. On the nightstand. On the nightstand. And the fan was off, Mommy says. Ah, yes. I know how you need white noise to sle ep. Mommy and Daddo look at each other behind Grandma’s back. And how are you, Bela? Grandma asks. Excited for school to begin? I don’t know how to answer, because it feels like school will never begin again. Go on, Bela, Mommy says. Answer your grandmother. She’s capable of doing that on her own, Grandma says. I know that, Mom. Bela? Yes, I say. Sandwich made, Grandma says. Thanks, Ruth, Daddo says. Of course. Eat as much as you like. Grandma smiles. She sits down at the table again.
This close, it feels like it’s harder to pretend. Maybe pretending is a lie? I pet Milky on the top of his head. It’s dark outside the kitchen window. Is it the whole neighborhood? Grandma asks. What? Mommy and Daddo ask at the same time. Grandma nods. The power, she says. How would we know? Mommy says. I think so, yes, Daddo says. I don’t think we saw any other porch lights on or anything. Grandma gets up from the table and goes to the kitchen window. She looks between the yellow drapes, up at the dark sky. No storm, she says. It’s not always a storm, Mommy says. But you two pay your bills. We do, Daddo says. But you know how it goes. Glitches. He eats his sandwich. Mommy looks like she wants him to hurry. I pet Milky on his head. I do know, Grandma says. There was one time when Bruce and I went two weeks without power. This was before you, Ursula. Chaps Edison came out but they couldn’t find anything wrong. Your father was so angry. But I found that, after a while, I almost liked it. She smiles at me. We lit candles, she says. We read books to each other. Maybe we should’ve lit some candles, Mommy says. Grandma doesn’t smile at Mommy. Daddo eats his sandwich. I pet Milky on his head. Boy, it’s late, Grandma says. Sun will be up in a couple hours. Yeah, Daddo says. We almost made it. He smiles and some of his sandwich falls from his mouth onto his plate. You must be very tired, Grandma says. We are, Mommy says. Well, go on upstairs. Russ is a big boy. I’d rather wait. Grandma st eps to the table and puts both her hands on it.
She says, Are any of the three of you going to tell me what’s really going on here? Daddo takes a bite. I look to the table. Mom, Mommy says. But she doesn’t lie again. Most people don’t know if their power goes out while they’re dead asle ep, Grandma says. And neither of you made any mention of whether or not Bela here would like something to eat. All unlike you, I know. So? What’s wrong? Daddo and Mommy both look to me. Then Grandma Ruth does too. Young ears, she says. I see. Bela, why don’t you go into the living room for a moment. No, Mommy and Daddo say at the same time. Grandma looks worried. Is there real trouble? she asks. Mommy breathes de ep. It’s nothing, Mom. Just... we had... we had a... It’s nothing, Daddo says. Just a... The power went out, Mommy says. Fine, Grandma says. I can tell she’s worried about us. I’ve never seen her look like this before. Daddo finishes his sandwich. He stands up. Thanks again, Ruth, he says. That hit the spot. Of course. Daddo brings his plate to the sink and Mommy gets up. Ready? she asks me. Go on ahead, Grandma tells us. But Daddo is looking at Mommy like he needs to talk to her. Mommy walks over by the front door and Daddo follows her. Grandma sits beside me at the table. Whatever it is, she says to me, it can be worked out. That’s one of the things you discover when you get to be my age. All these little worries don’t last forever. It’s not little, I whisper. Grandma Ruth leans toward me. O? Is it big then?
Yeah. How big is it? I look to the darkness outside the kitchen window. As big as Daddo. Is someone bothering you? Yeah. Someone mean? Yeah. Grandma nods. Mommy and Daddo come back into the kitchen. We’d like to sle ep down here, Mommy says. On the same floor as you. We had a scare at home. Nothing major. But we’re all a bit rattled. Yeah, Daddo says. We’re all a bit shook. We’d just as soon ke ep the whole family together down here. You included. Grandma looks at them for a while. Is this a... stalker? she asks. No, Mommy and Daddo say at the same time. I’m sorry to frighten you, Mom, Mommy says. Yeah, we don’t mean to freak you out, Daddo says. Just trust us when we say everything is totally fine. We just got a little... rattled. Like Ursula said. Grandma stands up. Well, who am I to tell you where to sle ep? she says. You wanna sle ep in the living room? On the living room floor? Be my guest. Milky may wake you. Or the sun might. Or the paperboy. But please, do as you feel like doing. Mommy st eps to her and hugs her. Thanks, Mom. Bela too? Grandma asks. Yes, Mommy and Daddo say at the same time. We all go into the living room. Daddo turns on a lamp. Mommy arranges some cushions on the floor. Daddo puts some blankets there too. Grandma asks if we have everything we need and then she goes to her bedroom and Mommy takes off her jacket but lies down with her pants still on and Daddo lies beside her and he tells me to come lie down too. Daddo whispers and tells me they didn’t want to leave Grandma down here alone. Whatever this is, it’ll all make more sense in the morning, Daddo tells me and Mommy. When the sun is up and it’s daytime, all of this will make more sense. But Mommy is sle eping already.
And I’m thinking: Why would it be any better in the day? The park was during the day. And why is the light any more true than the dark? O! I say. Because Milky is licking my face. He’s beside me on the cushions and I pet his little face with both my hands as Mommy snores. I look to Daddo but he’s already asle ep too. Milky, I say. It doesn’t matter if it’s night or day. He licks my face again and both Mommy and Daddo are asle ep and then even little Milky is sle eping against me and I’m the only one in the whole house who is awake I think. Good night, I say. Because I like to say it. Because it sounds like a good thing to say. Good night. But it wasn’t a good night. It was a mean one. And now I’m falling asle ep at the end of it. Because I need to too. And because we’re all so tired. And I worry that tomorrow will be even meaner. Milky, I say. Because he’s still licking me. And his little face is so close to mine... it’s hard to think the world is mean with his little face so close to mine. Milky, I say. But then I’m asle
Ep I think. A dream. Yeah. Milky licking my face. Crouched down beside my bed in my bedroom. Milky as tall as the ceiling, needing to crouch. Licking my face. And I can feel his fur. The little hairs on his arms. And I laugh and tell him to go to sle ep. Good night, I say. And he giggles. A little dog laugh. As I’m falling de eper asle ep. Good night.