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Book Two: To Love a Broken Beta CHAPTER 1
It's so strange being back here, the place I used to call home. Everything is so different. There is hardly anything I recognize here any more. Other than the lake that reflects the trees to my right in the distance.
I pull the blanket tighter, hugging it close as the breeze trickles through my hair. The moon is high above me as I wrestle with the decisions that led me back here. It was stupid to come here, thinking Hayes would be over what happened to us. But when the Lycan King calls for you and begs for help, you do as he wishes.
And it's not like I have anything keeping me from going on this mission. I have no family anymore, no mate to run home to. That may be the only thing Hayes and I have in common now. What we lack rather than what we had in the past.
"You should have said no," He says coming up behind me. My body shivers at the sound of his icy tone. Was it so terrible, what I did to him back then? Was I the problem, or was it always him?
"Merikh is my Alpha, Hayes." I say in a flat tone, hiding the distress being near him puts me in.
My eyes remain on the sky, unable to look at him. Not because his disfigured faces grosses me out. But it is all I can do to keep from breaking down at his hurting. Even after all this time, after the way he treated me, hurt me, it still is near agonizing to bear witness to the pain he wears every day.
"Oh, what did he order you to do this?" He snorts, his disdain for his brother not even remotely hidden.
"No." I say simply, flicking my eyes to see he stands next to me with the good side of his face in my line of vision. "He asked, and I said yes."
"You forget I know you, Kyra. And I know for a fact you are a shit warrior and a worse tracker." His words are vile and intentionally mean. This is who he is now. Anger poisons the heart, and when the heart is already broken, well...it's sometimes the only thing that holds the pieces together.
I inhale sharply and shake my head, unable to hide the sarcastic laughter bubbling up in me. In eight years, he didn't think I might change? After knowing me for eighteen years, he thought I couldn't grow up from the whimsical girl who wanted a fairytale? How quant that he thinks I lived a life of fucking cupcakes and rainbows. He can change, but I can't? What an arrogant dick.
"Correction, Hayes. You KNEW me at one time. You do NOT know me now. Other than my face and my name, I am not the same girl who followed you around laughing at your shitty jokes." I give him a snarky smile as he turns and glares at me.
"At least your face has stayed the same," He barks out and I roll my eyes.
"We all have battle scars, you idiot. You are the only one that likes to make a fuss of it." I turn my whole body to look at him, my hands on my hips, waiting for another stupid comment from him. Instead, he says nothing, turning to look out at the night sky with his hands on the railing before he exhales and drops his head.
"Please do not pretend to know what I have gone through, Kyra. I have lost more than you could ever imagine in your little red-headed fairytale land you hide in up in your head." his words are tired, as if he carries so much pain and no one can hold a candle to it.
But I know about his situation, from the way his skin smelled when they found him to the horrific way he lost his mate. Even one has heard of the Broken Beta and the way it has poisoned his heart.
"What the hell do you want?" I ask, finally cutting through the bullshit, my eyes narrowing. "Did you come out here to prove you are some big asshole? Tout how hard you are with this whole 'broken bad boy' bullshit?"
He blinks at me and looks down, a slight frown on his lips as he eyes his dark wash holey jeans and his solid black henley top with rolled sleeves. His shiny, twisted flesh noticeable on his arm as if he were showcasing a tattoo on some biker bar.
"I came here to tell you we don't want you." He snaps, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Oh well, holy heck, I was almost convinced you wanted me here with all that smiling you were doing when I walked in." I scoff.
"When did you become a smart ass?"
"The same time you became a
dickface." I gan, proud of myself. If there is one thing I learned from my mate Tyler, it's how to have an attitude with people who need it. I'm not the coy little girl Hayes
remembers. Hell, I was mated to the top warrior and tracker in the prized Warrior Wolf pack.
"Listen, just go tell Merikh you don't want to go anymore." He says, sighing heavily as he pinches between his eyes like I am annoying him. Clearly he has forgotten he came looking for me.
"It's Alpha Merikh," I chide him, then I give him a sweet smile. "And there is not a chance in hell I will do that. Act like the big boy you are and deal with it, Hayes. I am the best tracker and warrior there is. You need me." He throws his head back, laughing heartily as I glare at him.
"You?" he asks between heaving breaths of laughter while my frustration grows by the second.
"Unfortunately for you, yes, ME!" I scream at him. He shakes his head with a smile, pulling at the corner of his deformed right side of his face.
"I asked specifically for Tyler. Everyone knows he is the best." He says as a pain stabs into my heart.
Tears spring in to my eyes as I look away and clear my throat, trying not to cry. I have come so far. I can talk about him all day, discuss how great he is...well, was. But to tell someone that he is gone, that my Tyler is dead along with everything we created together... That I have never had to do and it feels awful.
"Tyler is dead." I whisper, unable to stop a rogue tear coming down my cheek. My hand swipes it away as I sniffle and clear my throat once more, rolling my shoulder and turning to face him again.
"This is why we don't want you.." He mutters, exhaling as he chuckles to himself. "You are crying because I told you that you aren't the best."
"You are so dense." I mutter, no other words coming to mind as I play for my exit.
Hayes' asshole personality I can deal with. I have dealt with many like this before. But for him to completely miss the mark of my tears just proves that every part of the Hayes I was in love with is dead and gone. And good freaking riddance. "Oh? And what makes me so dense?" He hisses at me as I turn and walk away. Hayes' hand grabs my elbow, whipping me around to look at him.
"Tyler was my mate, you fucking glob of melted flesh." I scream as tears burst free and down my cheeks.
His eyes grow wide, either from my revelation or my harsh words. I don't give a rat's ass. He takes a small step back, his hand still locked on my elbow as I pull away from him, his fingers gliding down my long sleeve shirt.
"I couldn't care less about you being a dick and trying to hurt my feelings. These tears aren't yours. I stopped crying about you a long ass time ago. These are for him."
I yank my arm back, his skin scorching mine with a heat unlike any I have felt, and I gasp, yanking my wrist to my chest, stumbling away from him.
"Shit, I didn't know," He murmurs, for the first time a hint of the old Hayes shining through the shadow of the anger that looms in him.
"I will see you tomorrow," I blink, my
mind whirling as I try to understand what the hell just happened. I rub the pad of my thumb where his skin touches mine as I rush off of the balcony and into the kitchen, running past Luna Colette who sits at the table, her chestnut hair in a messy bun atop her head as she sneaks a piece of cake.
I don't give her a moment to speak to me as I find my room, slamming the door shut behind me, my back pressing against it as my chest heaves. My skin still prickles where I cradle my hand to my chest. The remnants of his touch still lingering. I refuse to acknowledge it, I refuse to admit it.
Book Two: To Love a Broken Beta CHAPTER 1
It's so strange being back here, the place I used to call home. Everything is so different. There is hardly anything I recognize here any more. Other than the lake that reflects the trees to my right in the distance.
I pull the blanket tighter, hugging it close as the breeze trickles through my hair. The moon is high above me as I wrestle with the decisions that led me back here. It was stupid to come here, thinking Hayes would be over what happened to us. But when the Lycan King calls for you and begs for help, you do as he wishes.
And it's not like I have anything keeping me from going on this mission. I have no family anymore, no mate to run home to. That may be the only thing Hayes and I have in common now. What we lack rather than what we had in the past.
"You should have said no," He says coming up behind me. My body shivers at the sound of his icy tone. Was it so terrible, what I did to him back then? Was I the problem, or was it always him?
"Merikh is my Alpha, Hayes." I say in a flat tone, hiding the distress being near him puts me in.
My eyes remain on the sky, unable to look at him. Not because his disfigured faces grosses me out. But it is all I can do to keep from breaking down at his hurting. Even after all this time, after the way he treated me, hurt me, it still is near agonizing to bear witness to the pain he wears every day.
"Oh, what did he order you to do this?" He snorts, his disdain for his brother not even remotely hidden.
"No." I say simply, flicking my eyes to see he stands next to me with the good side of his face in my line of vision. "He asked, and I said yes."
"You forget I know you, Kyra. And I know for a fact you are a shit warrior and a worse tracker." His words are vile and intentionally mean. This is who he is now. Anger poisons the heart, and when the heart is already broken, well...it's sometimes the only thing that holds the pieces together.
I inhale sharply and shake my head, unable to hide the sarcastic laughter bubbling up in me. In eight years, he didn't think I might change? After knowing me for eighteen years, he thought I couldn't grow up from the whimsical girl who wanted a fairytale? How quant that he thinks I lived a life of fucking cupcakes and rainbows. He can change, but I can't? What an arrogant dick.
"Correction, Hayes. You KNEW me at one time. You do NOT know me now. Other than my face and my name, I am not the same girl who followed you around laughing at your shitty jokes." I give him a snarky smile as he turns and glares at me.
"At least your face has stayed the same," He barks out and I roll my eyes.
"We all have battle scars, you idiot. You are the only one that likes to make a fuss of it." I turn my whole body to look at him, my hands on my hips, waiting for another stupid comment from him. Instead, he says nothing, turning to look out at the night sky with his hands on the railing before he exhales and drops his head.
"Please do not pretend to know what I have gone through, Kyra. I have lost more than you could ever imagine in your little red-headed fairytale land you hide in up in your head." his words are tired, as if he carries so much pain and no one can hold a candle to it.
But I know about his situation, from the way his skin smelled when they found him to the horrific way he lost his mate. Even one has heard of the Broken Beta and the way it has poisoned his heart.
"What the hell do you want?" I ask, finally cutting through the bullshit, my eyes narrowing. "Did you come out here to prove you are some big asshole? Tout how hard you are with this whole 'broken bad boy' bullshit?"
He blinks at me and looks down, a slight frown on his lips as he eyes his dark wash holey jeans and his solid black henley top with rolled sleeves. His shiny, twisted flesh noticeable on his arm as if he were showcasing a tattoo on some biker bar.
"I came here to tell you we don't want you." He snaps, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Oh well, holy heck, I was almost convinced you wanted me here with all that smiling you were doing when I walked in." I scoff.
"When did you become a smart ass?"
"The same time you became a
dickface." I gan, proud of myself. If there is one thing I learned from my mate Tyler, it's how to have an attitude with people who need it. I'm not the coy little girl Hayes
remembers. Hell, I was mated to the top warrior and tracker in the prized Warrior Wolf pack.
"Listen, just go tell Merikh you don't want to go anymore." He says, sighing heavily as he pinches between his eyes like I am annoying him. Clearly he has forgotten he came looking for me.
"It's Alpha Merikh," I chide him, then I give him a sweet smile. "And there is not a chance in hell I will do that. Act like the big boy you are and deal with it, Hayes. I am the best tracker and warrior there is. You need me." He throws his head back, laughing heartily as I glare at him.
"You?" he asks between heaving breaths of laughter while my frustration grows by the second.
"Unfortunately for you, yes, ME!" I scream at him. He shakes his head with a smile, pulling at the corner of his deformed right side of his face.
"I asked specifically for Tyler. Everyone knows he is the best." He says as a pain stabs into my heart.
Tears spring in to my eyes as I look away and clear my throat, trying not to cry. I have come so far. I can talk about him all day, discuss how great he is...well, was. But to tell someone that he is gone, that my Tyler is dead along with everything we created together... That I have never had to do and it feels awful.
"Tyler is dead." I whisper, unable to stop a rogue tear coming down my cheek. My hand swipes it away as I sniffle and clear my throat once more, rolling my shoulder and turning to face him again.
"This is why we don't want you.." He mutters, exhaling as he chuckles to himself. "You are crying because I told you that you aren't the best."
"You are so dense." I mutter, no other words coming to mind as I play for my exit.
Hayes' asshole personality I can deal with. I have dealt with many like this before. But for him to completely miss the mark of my tears just proves that every part of the Hayes I was in love with is dead and gone. And good freaking riddance. "Oh? And what makes me so dense?" He hisses at me as I turn and walk away. Hayes' hand grabs my elbow, whipping me around to look at him.
"Tyler was my mate, you fucking glob of melted flesh." I scream as tears burst free and down my cheeks.
His eyes grow wide, either from my revelation or my harsh words. I don't give a rat's ass. He takes a small step back, his hand still locked on my elbow as I pull away from him, his fingers gliding down my long sleeve shirt.
"I couldn't care less about you being a dick and trying to hurt my feelings. These tears aren't yours. I stopped crying about you a long ass time ago. These are for him."
I yank my arm back, his skin scorching mine with a heat unlike any I have felt, and I gasp, yanking my wrist to my chest, stumbling away from him.
"Shit, I didn't know," He murmurs, for the first time a hint of the old Hayes shining through the shadow of the anger that looms in him.
"I will see you tomorrow," I blink, my
mind whirling as I try to understand what the hell just happened. I rub the pad of my thumb where his skin touches mine as I rush off of the balcony and into the kitchen, running past Luna Colette who sits at the table, her chestnut hair in a messy bun atop her head as she sneaks a piece of cake.
I don't give her a moment to speak to me as I find my room, slamming the door shut behind me, my back pressing against it as my chest heaves. My skin still prickles where I cradle my hand to my chest. The remnants of his touch still lingering. I refuse to acknowledge it, I refuse to admit it.
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