Second Chances in New Port Stephen - Chapter 79

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Second Chances in New Port Stephen - Chapter 79

Max gave an amused tilt of the head. “Yeah, I’ve been feeling good about none lately. At first I
tried out he/they but everyone picked one or the other and never used both, which pissed me
off. None is better.”
“And your friends, your parents, they’re… good with that?” Eli asked carefully.
“Oh, no, they all mess up constantly, especially Dad. They try, though. A couple teachers, too,
the ones who give a shit.” Max picked off a flake of black nail polish.
“Wow.” Eli slumped back in his seat. He could barely wrap his head around it. Even if he had
known he was trans back in high school, there was no way he would have ever let his teachers
know. “The world really has changed since I was your age.”
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Max said. “It’s still a fucking shitshow. Here especially.”
“Ain’t that the truth.” Eli wished he could offer Max a couch to sleep on in his Brooklyn
apartment, but he didn’t even have that.
“But you know what?” Max changed positions, long gangly legs sticking out clad in ripped black
denim. “This place can try to bury me all it wants. I’m not
going to let it. Even if I end up here for my whole life, I’ll still be me. Life’s too short to be anyone
else.”
Eli reached out and put a hand on Max’s knee, patting it in what he hoped came across as
solidarity. He couldn’t express in words how much he loved his cousin in that moment. He was
proud and also jealous, but mostly proud.
“Yeah. Life’s too short,” he choked out. Before he could start tearing up and really embarrassing
himself, he sat back and wiped surreptitiously at his eyes. “Damn, am I really learning a lesson
from my little cousin on Christmas? What is this, an after-school special?”
“What’s an after-school special?” Max asked.
Eli closed his eyes with a sigh. “Don’t worry about it.” As much as it sucked to be reminded of
his age, it was also kind of comforting. Yeah, he was old, so what? Not everyone had the
pleasure.

-- 183 of 228 --

Life really was too short. So what if he wasn’t sure what would come next? There was a kind of
freedom in not knowing. He could choose to live in the moment.
He could, if he wanted to, choose Nick. Maybe it wouldn’t be more than a few days or a few
weeks, but Nick made him happy. He made him laugh. A little short-term happiness, even if it
was in the guise of helping a friend out, was not nothing. Sure, it would all be one-sided—no
way was Nick catching feelings the way Eli had—but that was fine. Lightning didn’t strike twice
and all that.
He pulled out his phone and toyed with it, thinking to return Nick’s call and get it all out in the
open. Eli could tell him, Hey, we’re all adults here. You want to fool around some more? Because
I could definitely fool around some more.
He pocketed the phone with a sigh. Nick deserved a better overture than that, surely. Eli would
need some time to come up with something truly spectacular, something that would snag Nick
hook, line, and sinker. In the meantime, he made a pact with himself not to contact Nick willy-
nilly. That would come off as clingy, a fate worse than death.
In the meantime, there was Christmas dinner to get through, which was a close second.
“All right.” He slapped his thighs and levered himself out of his chair. “Let’s go slap on some
smiles and eat some ham.”
“Hallelujah,” Max intoned.